


Distant Journeys

by MinecraftYoutuberAUS



Series: Minecraft Youtuber Fantasy World AU [1]
Category: Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe - Fantasy, Comedy, Isekai, Lots of MCYT Cameos, mcyt - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-14
Updated: 2021-02-20
Packaged: 2021-03-09 18:26:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 27
Words: 44,877
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27510742
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MinecraftYoutuberAUS/pseuds/MinecraftYoutuberAUS
Summary: Have you ever wondered what it would be like to be awake in one world... and wake up in another, even weirder world? Well, look no further than Distant Journeys, a minecraft fantasy au starring none other than Tommyinnit! It has thrill, excitement, and Technoblade! (Three things that a story needs most... oh, wait)Finished :]
Series: Minecraft Youtuber Fantasy World AU [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2173650
Comments: 3
Kudos: 37





	1. Bored... Wait, What?

**Author's Note:**

> Hey! Thanks for checking out this book, I guess. I made this idea with a couple of friends, and decided, what the heck, I'll write it. 
> 
> Just some info:  
> -THIS IS ALSO AVALIABLE ON WATTPAD! (under the same name)
> 
> -There will be no shipping whatsoever. I don't really like shipping and think it's kinda weird. (Which to put it short: no romance)
> 
> -There will be no Angst/depression, because this book is basically more comedic. Expect no lessons learned!
> 
> -There might be plot holes, but this book is meant to be comedic... sooooo [plot holes will not be intentional]
> 
> -Some of the people's personalities might seem off, which probably means I don't watch them as often as others. I'll try to make the characters have personalities that match their personas, but if it's off, there's no need to go commenting on it. (or do, and i'll learn a lesson)
> 
> -If you're one of the youtubers that is featured in this (hi!!) I don't know why you would read this but I hope you enjoy it! If you're uncomfortable with being in the story message me and I'll remove you. (also, readers, hope you can enjoy this too :) )
> 
> -Most of this stuff will take place in a fantasy world (probably like 99%) so there will be magic and stuff, and maybe some stuff that doesn't make sense
> 
> -This book is pure fiction! (and comedy, I guess). So like... if you thought this was real and happened in real life, you probably click on clickbait videos lol. 
> 
> -Most of the chapters will probably be short! Like 1.5k to 2k words. Nothing like 14 minute chapters (except maybe one or two chapters will be longer)
> 
> -There will not be any very vivid descriptions of death, so don't worry! stuff like "blood splattered on the ground" is ok, but if it makes you feel uncomfortable, maybe skip it if you see it. (It's also in maybe 3 chapters, and doesn't really make me feel queasy, and I'm a squeamish person about that kinda stuff)
> 
> -This will take place in first person, maybe some chapters with third person.
> 
> -The measuring system will be the american measuring system, since I'm american and don't have that much knowledge of how it works everywhere else (yes, tommy is british, but will be using feet as a measuring thing lol)
> 
> -This will contain swearing.
> 
> -This will have okay grammar! BE WARNED. 
> 
> -Updates will be slow, probably because of school+maybe other stuff (I'll try to update once a week on friday)
> 
> I think that's all. If I ever feel the need to add something else here, I'll do so. So... the protagonist is Tommyinnit, that 16 year-old streamer. Also, ft. Technoblade, Wilbur soot, schlatt, and more! (they'll show up eventually, just keep reading >:) )
> 
> If this gets enough people who like it, I'll maybe make a discord server. Also, if you want to make fanart, go ahead! (Just credit @mcytaus if it's on twitter so I'll be able to see it)
> 
> Hope you guys enjoy! (if you already skipped this chapter and are reading the other chapters, good for you.)
> 
> Also, if you want to follow me on twitter (idk why) check here: twitter.com/mcytaus

Waiting for the bell to end the school is boring. _Really_ boring. Maybe even more boring than listening to this maths teacher when _school was almost over._ I stared out the window, looking at the dreary sky. _Seriously?! These clouds better clear up, I don't want to spend the rest of the day inside._

"Hey, Tommy! Pay attention!" the teacher said, and I averted my gaze from the cloudy sky. _10 more minutes until I can get out? I guess that's not that long.._

"Yea, whatever," I replied, pretending to pay attention to the math problems written on the board. _Why would we need to learn this much stuff about math if we're never going to use it? Wasted information._

_Bruh. I would give anything to get out of here. A minute seems like an eternity._ But, soon enough the bell rang, ending the school day.

"Finally," I mumbled under my breath, and grabbed my stuff before exiting the classroom. The sky above was still cloudy, _damn. Might as well start walking home again._ I walked past the crowds of kids chatting about the weekend, and what kind of cool stuff they were going to do.

_Plop._ A raindrop fell on my head. _Uh oh._ After a minute, it was practically showering me with rain. I held up my backpack and started running. _Stupid clouds._ I ran into a shop, just wanting to get out of the rain.

* _Ding dong, Bing bong*_ A bell rang when I went into the shop, alerting whoever worked there that someone had come in. I looked around, and realized this was a bakery. _Well, since I'm here, I might as well have a muffin._ I reached into my backpack and pulled out a few pounds, and handed them to the person behind the counter.

"Will that be all?" they asked.

"Yeah, just a muffin," I replied, and they gave me the muffin in a box. I thanked them and left the store, and immediately got wet. _How the heck did I forget it was raining?_ I shoved the box into my backpack, and started the wet journey towards home.

After walking/running in the rain for a few minutes, I stopped in front of a video game store. _I could probably wait out the rain in here... maybe._ I entered the store, pushing the doors open. _Ah, video games. Another way to escape reality and shoot some monsters._

"Come look at this! It's the newest RPG, and I heard it's really fun!" I heard someone say, and the other dude came over to whatever his friend was looking at.

_What nerds._ I found a bench near the front of the store, and sat down to eat my muffin. _Maybe I shouldn't eat in here. Besides, it seems like the rain is clearing up._

I left the two nerds and got out of the game store, still getting wet, but not as much as earlier. Walking home took _way_ longer than usual, or it was just my conception of time.

I unlocked the door with my keys, and locked it behind me. _My parents are out. Epic._ I went upstairs to my room, and threw my backpack on my bed. While booting up the computer, I grabbed my headphones and put them on. _Time to game._

[A few hours later]

"Alright. I should be going to sleep," I commented, and logged off my computer. _I am pretty tired..._

I laid on the bed, closing my eyes. _Another boring day, I guess._ I soon fell asleep...

[Beep]

I woke up startled, to a... _uh. What the hell?!_ I was sitting on a grass hill, in the middle of a plains biome. _Is this a dream? This better be a dream._

[Hello, Tommy]

A game notification-like thing appeared in my sight. I pinched myself. _Shit._

"Uh, hi?"

[This is a fantasy world. Your goal: Defeat the Demon King.]

"A fantasy world?! What the hell? Can I leave? Quit?"

[No.]

"Bruh," I said, totally stumped. The notification thing disappeared, and left me alone on the hill. I felt a gust of wind hit me. _I don't think there can be wind in a dream._

I sat down on the hill, staring at my hands. I was wearing some brown shirt with a red sash, a brown belt, dark brown pants, and a black cape. A typical fantasy world outfit. Another box filled with words appeared in my view.

-

[Tommy Innit- Level **1**

Stats:

Strength- Level **2**

Charisma- Level **0**

Agility- Level **4**

Speed- Level **1**

Teamwork- Level **2**

Stamina: Leve **l 1**

Special Skill: Advanced Senses- All 5 senses are enhanced

Experience needed until next level: **100** ]

-

_What?! Why do I have zero charisma? I'm a very charismatic person!_ The words grew smaller until they disappeared. _Is there anyone else here?!_

"HOW THE HELL DID I GET HERE?!" I yelled, standing up on the hill. Suddenly, a roar echoed behind me. _Uh... what was that?_

A big group of something was coming over the plains, headed for me. _This... can't be good._ I saw horns, goop, and a big rhino-like thing.

_They could be friendly, right? Maybe if I could, uhhhh, talk to them..._

[Charisma Level 0- Nothing trusts you]

_Uh oh. Of course this system gives me 0 charisma_. I looked once again at the crowd of monsters, who did **not** look happy. I started running down the hill, as fast as these legs could take me. I glanced back at the hill, and _oh shit._

Some little goblin-like things were speeding towards me, their eyes looking straight at me. I looked back in front of me, a giant boulder was blocking my path.

I jumped, did a flip, and landed perfectly on the other side of the boulder. _Since when could I do a flip?!_

_Uh... why am I not running as fast? Shit. Shit._ I looked ahead, looking for somewhere to hide from the monsters chasing me. _There's a forest over there!_

I got knocked over by something that grabbed my leg. _Uh oh._ I kicked the goblin thing and kept running towards the trees.

"Hello? Is someone there?" A voice came out from the trees. _Someone is here! That someone is me!_

"Hello! My name is Tommy, and I probably need your help! Also, where the heck am I?" I said, introducing myself. The figure who I had called out to stepped out behind the tree. _Let's hurry up this introduction._

The figure had white hair and really pale skin with a grey headband, a faded pink-brownish half cape and black pants. He looked confused, then saw me.

"Oh, you must be new. Well, this place is owned by the company I work for, so basically, you're trespassing. What would you need help with anyways?" he said, crossing his arms. _Bruh._

"Then those monsters are trespassing, too! I don't know, kill them or something!" I commented, pointing at the horde of monsters heading towards the forest. He sighed, looking at the horde with distaste.

"Well, Iwas going to deal with them later, but I might as well do that now," he said, and took out a _grenade. WHAT?! WHY DOES HE HAVE THAT? Isn't this supposed to be a fantasy world?_

I stared dumbfoundedly as he threw the grenade looking-thing at the horde. He said something under his breath, and it exploded. _OH MY GOD._ Some pieces of monster goop got on the trees. And everywhere else.

"Alright. That's done with. Let's start over. Hi, my name's Ty. You said your name's Tommy, right? I don't recognize that name... so you must not be from around here! Since I'm finished around here, I can take you to the first town," Ty said, looking back at me. _Oh, a town. That would probably be useful._ Ty started walking through the forest, and I began to follow him.

"Hello, Ty. So... how did you get that... uh, explosion thing?" I asked, starting a conversation.

"It's a type of explosion magic I have," Ty answered, and took another magic bomb out from his pockets. "I usually have to wait for my magic to charge up, so I inserted it into this so it can be used instantly." _Magic? Well, I guess the thing did say it was a fantasy world. Why a grenade?_

"Oh, pretty cool. Uh... you said this land is owned by the company you work for?" I asked. _There's companies in this world... hmm._

"Yeah. Although, most of our operations take place quite far away from here. I don't actually know why the boss bought this place... maybe for some sort of guild thingy or future project," Ty said, a little confused. "I usually just clean up this place. Kill the monsters, get rid of trespassers, that kind of stuff."

"Oh, uh. Pretty cool. What's a guild?" I said, thinking back to the exploding magic bomb. _Would he have blown me up? Nah. I'm too likeable!_

"Oh, you must be _really_ new. Guilds are a way for adventurers like you to earn money by doing quests. You would probably want to sign up to the guild registration. It's a pretty noticeable building in the middle of town. When you sign up to the guild, you get some starter equipment, which would probably be helpful," Ty explained. _Hmm. This guy works for a company. If they have the money to own such a large amount of land and not use it, I could probably trust him._

I thought back to the notification box thing and asked, "Hey, do you know anything about the Demon King?"

"The Demon King is a pretty powerful being, and lives in a castle with a bunch of high level monsters around it. A few powerful guilds tried to take it down and they all failed. I don't think someone like you should go over there," Ty commented. _What the heck was the system doing, giving me an impossible quest? Seriously?!_

"Uh... anything about guilds that I should know?" I asked, switching the conversation.

"Well, some of the S-tier guilds get to protect towns and stuff for a lot of money and fame. Sometimes they have wars between themselves. There was that one a couple of months ago, it was about some sort of vegetable. Pretty intense," Ty answered. _They fought over a vegetable? Seriously? Why not something important like money or land?_

"Hey, are we close to that town you were talking about?" I asked. Right after I asked it, the path went from dirt to being made out of stone, with a signpost up ahead.

"We're here," Ty answered, and I read the sign. **"First Town."** _What a lame name._ Under the name, there was tiny writing. **Run by The Dream Team.**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Cameos:
> 
> Iamty (Ty)


	2. What a dumb name for a Town

"Well, uh, you should probably sign into the guild. I'll be doing some stuff, so I'll catch up with you later," Ty said, and headed off into the town. _Alright. I can do this._

I walked into the town, and was greeted with a bunch of different people. There were some people with animal ears and tails, which I learned were called beastmen after asking the system. Others were in full armor, and some looked like I could beat them in a fight. _Woah. There's a LOT of people here._

While looking for the guild building, I found a board that must have been meant for quests. There were a bunch of quests on the board, some like "Subjugate the goblin village in my land" or "Mow my lawn." _Some of these people are just lazy._

One of the quests that stood out to me didn't seem like a quest. It said: " _Undeer leval 10? Come joisn teh guisdl for fre cookueis!" What bad spelling, geez. I guess this guild is looking for people under level 10? And giving them cookies? Uh... no thanks._ There wasn't even an address or something to show where to sign up. I took the quest off the wall, and it disappeared.

[Inventory Slots Available: 9/10]

_Huh. I have an inventory._ I pressed a new notification that appeared on my screen, and it showed 10 spots, with one filled with a picture of the poorly written paper. _I should probably look for that guild building now._

I left the quest board in search of the building that Ty said was very noticeable. I passed a few bakeries, some blacksmith-looking thing, and a potion shop before finding a very grand building, with nice looking pillars that reminded me of a bank.

_This must be it, right? Shit. It's so fancy._ I brushed off some monster goop and flattened my hair before walking inside. The inside was like the outside, white (marble?) floors and more pillars.

In the center of the room, there was a desk that I assumed was the reception desk. At the desk sat a woman with dark brown hair, dark brown eyes, and clothes that looked a little fancier than what I assumed a typical fantasy-world receptionist would wear.

"Seeing how much you're looking around, you must be looking to join the guild. Yeah, come over here and sign this paperwork," she said, motioning for me to come over to the desk. On it was a nameplate with the words Kara Corvus engraved on it. _I should probably thank her._ I opened my mouth and-

-

[You need to have at least 3 levels of Charisma to be able to properly speak to members of the opposite sex]

-

I stared at the words in front of me. _WHAT?! This is an outrage!_ After fuming, I grabbed a form and a pen, then read over the form. _I can't believe it. This world is so stupid._

[Automatically Fill In Information? ||Yes|| ||No|| ]

I pressed the Yes and the information on the form wrote itself. The only thing I needed to enter was my occupation. _Huh. I get to choose._ After looking at the options, I chose Adventurer. Adventurer was one of the more popular occupations, where you could accept mostly any quests. _Sounds pretty cool._ I gave the form back to Kara, the _woman_ , and she looked over the form.

"Oh, you're level 0 in charisma? Huh. Weird. That's abnormally low, even for a beginner. Well, anyways, here's your beginner's gear," Kara commented, and gave me a box labeled kit. "You should probably open that outside."

I took the box, and it was added to my inventory. _Level 0 in charisma sucks... this is not fun. Better avoid women for now._ I walked out the fancy guild place and back into the town.

I asked the system to open my inventory, and pressed the open button on the box.

[Items Received: One set of Level 1 armor, one short sword, 20 silver coins, and five lesser healing potions]

_These coins must be the currency around here. Hmm... I wonder if there's hunger in this world._ In response to that thought, my stomach growled. _Oh. So it's not like Minecraft. It's like real life._

I walked around until I found a bakery (which did not take long to find). I looked at the sign. **Halo's Muffins- Run By BBH**. _Bbh? Must be some sort of nickname._ I went inside, where there were several other people eating muffins. _How much are these muffins?_ I looked at a sign nearby- **10 Copper for one muffin :)**. _Sounds good. I hope I can ask for change._

I waited in line, with the smell of fresh muffins wafting around me. _Having enhanced senses makes me feel hungrier._ I got to the front of the line, and a man with a black and red cloak, glasses, and an apron waved me over. I got a muffin, and came out with one less silver coin and a full stomach.

_Maybe I should do a quest. Seems like an easy way to get coins._ I walked over to the board, looking for a quest that seemed easy enough for a level 1. As I reached out to grab an easy quest, the system blocked me.

-

[Cannot Receive any more quests when Level 1]

Current Quest(s): 1/1

Quest- Demon King Subjugation

Clear Conditions: Kill the Demon King

Difficulty: **SSS**

Time Limit: ???

Compensation: ???

Failure: ???

-

_Can I get rid of this quest?_ I tried looking around for something that would get it out of my current quests. _Seriously? I can't get rid of it! This is rigged._

[Level up to earn more quest spots!]

_What about the quest earlier? I guess the spelling was pretty bad, it didn't even count as one. It was more like an advertisement than a quest anyways._

I sighed and walked away from the quest board. Suddenly, I had a great idea. _I could level up here! There must be some low level monsters around here that I could kill, right?_

As I headed for an exit, I passed by a statue of three people. The one in the middle had a robe and some sort of mask with a smiley face on it. The one on the left was holding a sword and had big sunglasses on his face. The one on the right was wearing a headband, similar to Ty's, with armor that had a shirt covering the chestplate with a flame in the middle of the shirt. Under the statues, there was writing. **The Dream Team.** _So these guys run this town._ _They must be pretty high levels to be in charge of a town._

I walked away from the statue and headed towards the gate where I came into the town with Ty. There were other people heading in the entrance, and it seemed I was the only one going out. _That's not ominous or anything..._

[You can now attack anything, and be attacked by anything. You have exited a safe zone]

_Yeah, thanks. Really needed to know that._ I walked off the path and headed into the forest, which seemed unusually quiet. _It feels like I'm in a horror game._

_Bloop._ I jumped at the sound and cursed. It was just a tiny slime, which looked up at me. _This must be a level 1 monster, right? Look how tiny it is._ I equipped my short sword, and thrust it at the slime.

And the sword went through the slime. _Son of a-_ **Bloop.** I looked up, and there was another slime on one of the tree branches.

"What the heck is this sword?! It didn't do anything!" I yelled angrily, and looked back at the _stupid_ tiny slime. It looked at me again, then _split into two._ I looked at it in horror. _This can't be good._

I could only stare as the slimes multiplied, making the bloop sounds until there was _WAY TOO MANY_ staring at me. I tried to stab one, but the sword still went through the tiny squishy body. They then started to jump on each other, making a big blob that stared at me. I threw my sword at it. Nothing happened. Then the blob spat something in my face.

[You are now poisoned]

_BRUH._ I started to sprint away, as fast as I could go, coughing every few seconds. _Well, this sucks._ I didn't even look back, as it would probably be on me the second I stopped.

_***Crash***. _I heard something break in a tree nearby, followed by a string of curses. _Maybe this person can help me escape the-_

I turned around and something behind me held a sword to my throat. _God dammit._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Cameos:
> 
> BBH- He runs a muffin shop :D


	3. The Dream Team

I stood silently for a second, looking at the sword that could probably end my life in a second. _Wait a second… this is my sword! The sword I threw at the giant invincible blob!_

“Hey! Get this sword off my throat and give it back!” I said, angry. _Who thinks they could just steal my sword and threaten me with it?!_ The thing behind me sighed. 

“This dude is probably just a level one, seriously?!” a dude said. The sword being held to my throat was dropped on the ground, and I turned around to see… _oh._ The one that was holding my sword to my throat was the dude on the right in the statue. 

He had black hair, a silver headband, and silver armor and shirt with the flame in the middle. _This is one of the S-ranked people who run this town? Why would they attack_ **_me?_ **

“Well, this is awkward. Hello, I’m Sapnap,” he said, holding out his hand. I shook it reluctantly, and picked up my sword off the ground. _Where did that giant slime creature go? Couldn’t it catch up by now?_

“Hello _SapNap_ . My name is Tommy-” I was interrupted by two more people who jumped on the ground from the trees. _These guys were from the statue too!_

There was one guy with a long green robe, wearing a smiley face mask and holding a staff. The other one was wearing a blue blouse with a red and white box in the middle, a darker shade of blue for his pants, and some kind of white and black sunglasses. _Why would this person have sunglasses? Aren’t we in a fantasy world? Why do I even ask that question, after seeing a magic fire grenade?_

“Yeah. Hi, Tommy, my name’s Dream. This is George,” he motioned to the dude with the sunglasses, “What exactly are you doing in the forest anyways?”

“What a dumb name. Well, _I_ was going to kill some monsters to level up! But then this fucking invinsible slime attacks me!” I answered, and pulled out a health potion. I drank the small health potion, and returned to full health. 

“Oh. _Ohhhhh._ Right! My illusion!” Dream said, like he was realizing something. He swung his staff and some wisps of something appeared out of the air and went into his staff. 

[The poison was removed]

“Wait. Which of our names did you think was dumb?” George stated, looking at me. _I don’t have to answer him!_

“I don’t know,” I answered, shrugging. _Both of their names seem weird. I mean, who names their child George?_

“A regular slime, you know, would only need level 3 strength to be beaten. You can’t kill an illusion, especially _my_ illusions,” Dream said, crossing his arms. _He thinks his magic is so good. Geez._

“Then why did I get poisoned? Wouldn’t the attacks be an illusion too?” I asked, confused. 

“My illusions are just that-”

“I shot you with a magical poisoned arrow,” George said, interrupting Dream. Dream stared at George (I couldn’t tell what expression because of his weird mask) and sighed. _These guys seem pretty knowledgeable… I mean, right? They’re rank S for a reason. Maybe I can get free levels off them! Yes. What a great plan._

“I have a great idea! Why don’t you guys help me level up?” I proclaimed, very confident. 

“Why would we do that?” George said, crossing his arms. _Because I’m a great person!_

“Well… we really don’t have anything else to do. Why not?” Sapnap said, shrugging. _Yes!_

“I guess so. Well, uh, what should we train him in?” George asked, looking at me. “He doesn’t seem to be excellent at anything. Especially not charisma, he seems very shady.” 

“We could do pvp,” Dream suggested. _They’re acting like I’m not even here!_

“That’s a start,” Sapnap agreed, “Though he’s still only level one…”

“Let’s do pvp!” I exclaimed, butting into the conversation. 

“Alright then… let’s go deeper into the forest,” Dream stated, and jumped into the canopy. I heard him murmuring something under his breath and some kind of magic tendril grabbed me around the waist and lifted me up. 

I spent the next few minutes trying to dodge branches and leaves while being dragged barely above the forest floor. _This is rank S magic? Seriously?_

“Oops,” Dream commented when he jumped down and saw me standing there with branches stuck in my hair. I brushed all the stuff off my hair, grumbling, and went over to the three of them. 

There was a clearing with a bunch of stumps and very _alarmingly_ big tracks on the ground. _Uh-oh._

“Ah! A gordranix! How about that for a fight, eh?” George said, examining the tracks. _What the fuck is a gordranix?!_

“Are you sure?” Sapnap asked, “Those things can be pretty hard to beat.”

“I can take on a gor- whatever!” I said confidently, once again butting into the conversation. 

“Alright, go ahead!” Dream said, pointing towards something in the distance. I left them and started heading for the figure. It seemed to be behind a tall rock, with just some sort of horn sticking out the top. 

“Prepare to be slain!” I yelled, coming closer to the rock and the gordra whatever. In response to that, I heard a very loud sound and the ground shook for a second.

_Oh my fucking god._

The rock was part of the gordranix, and it was lifted off the ground by two feet. The head was comically tiny, with one horn on the top and two big eyes. It stood on its two feet, like a human, and had giant arms with alarmingly sharp claws on the end. _Suddenly I don’t feel so safe._ I equipped my beginner armor, which made me feel less agile and more likely to fall and not get back up again.

I heard laughing far behind me, and turned to see the dream team looking at me. I turned back to the stupidly tall monster, which was probably still deciding how to eat me. _How does it eat? It doesn’t have a mouth… maybe it’s friendly!_

_Thunk._ My body instinctively moved to the side as a large piece of rock was hurled at me. _Where did that come from?!_ I looked at the gordranix, which was tearing a chunk of the grass out of the ground. _I don’t think that’s a sign of friendship._

I started to sprint towards the monster, equipping my sword and stabbing upwards while running under its legs. _Haha, die trash!_

The sword only seemed to cause an inconvenience for the monster, so I tried stabbing it again, but this time in the leg. Some monster goop got on my sword, and the gordranix started to fall over and it dropped the piece of the ground. _This is going great, surprisingly!_

I saw the claws a split second before they grabbed me, scratching the armor I had on. The claws seemed to squeeze tighter, and I desperately stabbed the sword into the gordranix’s hand. Surprised (I think), the monster dropped me on the ground a few feet below me, and started to slowly get up on its two feet again. I drank one of the healing potions while it got back on its feet. 

After regaining health, I once again ran towards the monster, stabbing its scaly legs again. _These legs seem to be the weak spot!_ I dodged the claws, and sliced my sword deeper into its leg, sprouting more monster goop. 

[Level up in Strength- Level 3]

_That’s a pogchamp moment right there!_ I sliced the leg with more strength , and then the monster started vibrating. The leg I had sliced fell into two pieces. 

[Gordranix slain. Exp gained: 200]

-

[Level Up! Level 2]

New unlock(s): 2 quest spots

-

The monster didn’t disappear instantly, though, and it started falling apart right over me. The body of the gordranix, the rock, just _happened_ to be right above me. _Well, shit._

I closed my eyes and waited to get squished by the giant rock, but it seemed gravity didn’t work. I looked up, surprised, and saw that the body of the gordranix was floating above me.

“Do you want to get squished or what?” Dream yelled, holding his staff up. _Oh._ I ran out from under the body, and watched it collapse on the ground as the magic tendrils traveled back to Dream’s staff. 

“Well, you got lucky Tommy. Some of those gordranix monsters are not as easy to defeat as that one,” Sapnap commented, looking at the slowly decomposing body of the gordranix. _I got lucky?!_

“I wasn’t lucky, I’m just so good at slaying monsters,” I said angrily, crossing my arms. 

“Yeah, sure. You have some monster goop in your hair. Actually, you have it all over you,” George said skeptically, pointing to my clothes and armor. I checked, and sure enough, there was gordranix goop attached to my armor and clothes. I unequipped the armor, hoping the goop would just disappear. It didn’t.

[Dirty Armor added to inventory]

“Oh, how about we do magic next? I’m great at magic,” Dream boasted, brandishing his staff proudly. 

“Yeah, you always seem to disappear, then come out with potions of strength and win. I don’t think Tommy is a mage though,” Sapnap stated. _Win? Win what?_

“We could make him fight another gordranix,” George suggested, looking smug. _YEAH, I don’t think so buddy._

“I _could_ take on another gordranix, but I don’t feel like fighting one,” I said, crossing my arms and looking at George in the eyes. 

“Now that I notice it, why are you so tall? Like, you look way younger than us, but you’re so tall! I mean, come on,” Dream analyzed, looking at me. _He seems jealous._

“I’m tall. Deal with it,” I said, and looked smugly at Dream’s emotionless mask. Its eyes seemed to pierce deeply into my soul. _Creepy._

“Anyways, we noticed you must have a pretty good level in agility, with all the dodging you were doing,” Sapnap stated, “So we could do some agility training.”

“I guess we could,” I agreed, lifting my gaze from Dream’s mask. _That’s right! I have a level 4 in agility!_

“How about we visit one of those parkour areas? The ones made by Petezahhutt?” George suggested. _Parkour areas?_

“Those ones are pretty hard… oh,” Sapnap said. _Seriously?! These guys just want to murder me!_

“How about we work on stamina, then?” Dream suggested. “Like, y’know, running and shit.”

“Maybe I could go back to town, instead of doing all this stuff,” I suggested. _These guys would practically kill me! Is murder legal in this world?_

“Alright then. We do have something else to schedule, remember?” Sapnap said, turning to Dream and George. I started to walk away from them, back into the forest. 

“The manhunt! Right!” Dream answered, and to that I started to run a little faster. _These guys are crazy!_

I learned, while walking/running back, that being carried by magic was a whole lot faster than using your legs. _Maybe that parkour would have been useful. Oh well._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Cameos:
> 
> The Dream Team: They're S Rank Adventurers


	4. This World Is Crazy...

I arrived at the First Town a little before sundown, and took a breather. On the way to the town, any time I heard something move, I would run like all of hell was chasing me.  _ That dream team is pretty scary, considering they tried to make me do impossible things.  _ Turns out I’m not cut out for long distance running in this world either.  _ Stupid stats.  _

“Hey, you’re alive!” Ty exclaimed, jogging towards me. He looked the same as he did this morning, except I noticed there was some kind of stain on his half cape.  _ Wonder what that is.  _

“Of course I’m alive! Why, did you think I died?!” I exclaimed, standing up from the wall to greet Ty. 

“Well, I couldn’t find you in the town. I thought you must have accepted that death trap quest,” Ty said, shrugging. “Let’s go on the road and out of this town.”  _ Death trap?!  _

Ty and I both left the town together, heading out another exit and into the forest, where the trees cast long shadows on the ground as we walked past them. 

“So… what was the death trap quest you were talking about?” I asked. The sun was almost all the way out of the sky, which would mean night would be on us soon. 

“Well, a bunch of low-levels accept a quest that seems like a good deal. Y’know, a bunch of gold coins and some magical stuff. Then, at a certain time, all of them will disappear and do some sort of tournament. But there’s only one winner, and only they come out with the prizes and a haunting story that they can’t tell. The others are presumed to have died,” Ty explained, looked up at the sky, and took out a lantern. 

“Who makes those tournaments?” I asked, sticking close to the lantern’s light.  _ Surely they would be put in jail, right? Or killed? Is there any sort of legal system in this world? _

“No one knows. Some say it’s the Demon King itself, and others say it’s a bored rank S adventurer. I believe the latter,” Ty answered.  _ The Demon KING?! Or a bored high level adventurer? Hmm. Well, those S-ranks do seem pretty crazy. Would they really kill a bunch of low-levels?  _

“Don’t the people who win the tournament know the answer?” I asked.

“I don’t think they can say it, like a magic curse or something,” Ty answered, then put his arm to stop me. “Shh. I think there’s someone or something out there.”

I stopped and tried to look ahead. I couldn’t see anything, because apparently it gets dark real fast in this fantasy world.  _ Without Ty’s lantern, it would probably be pitch dark here. _ Ty and I drew closer slowly down the path, and I jumped. 

“What was that for?” Ty whispered.

“I thought I heard a growl,” I whispered back, and turned back to the darkness ahead of us. Except there was something staring at us. Two white eyes that seemed to glow in the dark, looking directly at us.  _ WTF?!? _

“WHAT IS THAT?!” I yelled, backing away. The white eyes disappeared, and Ty looked at me. “What?”

“Well, I  _ could  _ have found out what that was. But now we will never know,” Ty said, and continued walking in the dark forest. 

“Maybe it was Dream’s creepy mask. That dude seemed to have it out for me,” I suggested, thinking back to the emotionless mask and the dead eyes.  _ Those white eyes were probably too big to be Dream’s small dot eyes. _

“You’ve met Dream? In person?!” Ty said, sounding amazed.  _ He isn’t that amazing. Well… he is an S-rank.  _

“Yeah, and his two friends. They’re kinda creepy,” I answered, shrugging. 

“Why were they creepy?” Ty asked.

“They tried to kill me! Then they made me fight a gor-whatever it’s called, and when I was leaving, they mentioned a manhunt! Isn’t that illegal or something?!” I said, thinking back to the dream team. 

“A manhunt? Oh, yeah! Those guys do them for fun! It’s usually just the three of them, but sometimes that muffin shop owner participates as well,” Ty explained, totally avoiding the question of if it was legal or not.  _ Why would a muffin shop owner take part in a manhunt? _

“That’s great, uh…what’s your special skill?” I said, changing the subject. 

“Mine allows me, when I talk to someone, to see their stats and what level they are. Pretty useful in some situations,” Ty answered, “What’s yours?” 

“Uh… Mine enhances all five senses, so that’s pretty cool, I guess,” I answered, and shrugged. 

“So that monster goop on your cape must smell bad, right?” Ty said, pointing to the slimy stuff on my cape. 

“It doesn’t smell like anything,” I answered, and tried to brush it off my cape.  _ It doesn’t look that good, and I would definitely not touch it. Eugh.  _

“Ok,” Ty said. We both walked in uncomfortable silence, until I saw something up ahead.  _ What’s that? Is it another creature with glowing white eyes? _

“Hey, Ty. Do you see that spider?” I said, pointing to a tiny spotted spider on its web. Ty looked where I was pointing and then stepped back.

“Yeah, uh. We should probably avoid touching those webs,” Ty answered, and pointed to the path ahead. There were a bunch of tiny spiders suddenly making webs that were attached to the trees.  _ Do these guys have a hive mind or something?  _

“They’re tiny little spiders. What harm could they do?” I commented, and picked a stick off the ground and threw it at the spider.  _ Maybe these can give me easy exp!  _

“Uh-oh,” Ty said ominously, and equipped a bow. The tiny spider that I hit with a stick lunged for me, suddenly way faster and scarier than it seemed before.  _ SHIT. _

I equipped my sword and tried to slice the spider, but it dodged the blade and bit my neck.  _ OW.  _ I grabbed the spider and threw it as far away as I could make it go.  _ Will I turn into Spider-man now?  _

“Let’s get out of here, before any more of these tiny spiders attack us!” Ty said, and started running along the path, using his bow to shoot spiders that jumped for us. I followed closely, my vision getting blurry.  _ Ty has very good accuracy with the bow.  _

“Uh, the spider bit me,” I said, and almost tripped on a rock.  _ When did that get there?  _ Ty threw a light greenish potion to me.

  
“Drink it!” Ty commanded, and I opened the bottle and drank the weird mixture while running. It didn’t taste very good, and I nearly spat it out. Once I swallowed all of the disgustingly greenish potion, though, my vision became clearer and I didn’t feel as woozy anymore. 

[Level up in Teamwork- Level 3] 

“How did you get a level in teamwork by causing the problem?!” Ty exclaimed, and then stopped running.  _ Oh, right. He can see my stats. How *did* I get a level in teamwork?  _

“I think the spiders are gone now,” I commented, avoiding Ty’s question. 

“Even the new adventurers have enough common sense to know not to attack those spiders. Their poison can eventually kill you, y’know,” Ty said, unequipping his bow. “I probably would have already met with the boss if I didn’t help you.”

“Oh, right. You work in a company,” I said, remembering something Ty had said earlier about his company owning the land where I had spawned. 

“Yep! I work there for exposure, no pay. I’ve been trying to change that lately though,” Ty said, and I just stared at him in disbelief.  _ Uh… did he say exposure? Even I know that paying with exposure almost never works out. _

“Huh. Nice. Well, anyways, do you know how to level up charisma? Everyone keeps commenting on how I have a level zero in it, and how I seem shady,” I asked, as we started to walk on the path again.

“Well, it usually levels up by just talking to people. It’s one of the easiest skills to master, yet you, somehow, are a level zero in it. Maybe you just have bad people skills,” Ty said, and shrugged.  _ This world is against me!  _

“Are you an adventurer? Like me?” I asked, looking at my stats. 

“Yup, I’m an assassin class,” Ty stated, and equipped a dagger that he started to pretend to throw at trees _. Does the company hire him to kill people? Or is that a hitman?  _

“Are these skills the only ones you can have?” I asked, and Ty shook his head.

“No, you can develop skills later on, like food connoisseur, potion maker, and other stuff like that,” Ty answered.  _ There’s food connoisseurs in this world? That must mean there’s a food making skill too, right?  _

“YOU’VE GOT TO BE FUCKING KIDDING ME, JAMES!” I heard someone yelling in the distance, and I think Ty heard it too. You would have to be deaf not to hear it.

“Who could that be? A merchant or something?” Ty said, curious. “Most people don’t travel at night…”

“Why are we traveling at night then?!” I said. The shouting from up ahead seemed to come from two people, who were arguing about something. 

“There’s not as many people who try to rob you,” Ty replied as we came closer to the yelling. There was a light up ahead, which seemed to be attached to a carriage. There were also two figures standing next to the carriage, yelling at each other.


	5. Where's the fucking wheel?

“Hey! Are you guys okay over there?” Ty yelled as the both of us came closer to the cart. I saw the two figures go silent and stare at us as we approached.

The figures got clearer, and I could see what they looked like. One had grayish-white hair with a brown headband, an eyepatch, some sort of face mask, and a purple and green suit of some kind. The other figure was wearing what I presumed to be the beginner armor, dark brown hair, and mining goggles colored white and red sat on top of his head. And both of them were looking angrily at each other. 

“We would be fine if James had brought a FUCKING BACKUP WHEEL!” the one with the eyepatch yelled, and motioned to the broken wheel that was on the ground. 

“I didn’t know that those goblins would attack us in the middle of the night, Poke! I never bring a backup wheel anyways!” James argued. _These guys are pretty loud. No wonder goblins would attack them, you could hear them from a mile away._

“If you weren’t such a dumbass ape, we could have murdered them!” Poke said, as Ty and I watched them argue.

“We’re miners! We don’t specialize in combat.”

“Are you making fun of my height? Being twenty-two isn’t a minor, you bitch!”

“Uh… maybe we can help you guys get a wheel? Like, a quest or something?” Ty suggested, interrupting the argument. 

“That would probably make things a lot easier,” James agreed, and grabbed a paper out of the cart and started writing on it, “We don’t really have anything to give you, except maybe some coins or a gem.”

“Then what’s in the cart?” I asked. 

“We were using it to deliver supplies between First Town and Second Town, so it’s currently empty,” Poke answered, and looked over at the paper James was writing on. _Both of those towns have really bad names. Who names a town “Second Town?!” These names are just lazy._

“Here’s the quest. Uh, which one of you should I give it to?” James asks, holding up the paper. 

“Me!” I exclaimed, and snatched the paper out of James’ hands. 

-

[Quest accepted!]

Quest- Get a wheel

Clear Conditions: Find a fucking wheel and give it to Poke and James

Difficulty: **D**

Time Limit: 5 Hours

Compensation: ???

Failure: Death

-

  
  


“Death?! What the fuck?!” I exclaimed, looking at the failure part of the quest. James shrugged. _Why would they put death on a D quest?!_

“It’s a pretty easy quest. If you can’t do it then you would probably die on the path anyways,” Ty said, looking at the quest paper. _Come on!_

_Woosh._ I turned my head to some sort of sound behind us. A hooded figure with bulky clothing appeared where I had heard the sound. _Who the hell is this?!_

“Oh, it’s you guys causing the ruckus in the middle of the night! Of course,” the figure commented, and waved hello to Poke and James.

“Yooo, it’s Sneeg!” Poke said, and shook hands with the figure apparently named Sneeg. _These people know each other?_

“Why are you guys screaming? And who are these two children?” Sneeg asked, pointing at Ty and me. 

“James fucking forgot to bring a backup wheel, so we got upset. These fellas are going to help us find a wheel,” Poke explained calmly. 

“I’m pretty sure I have an extra wheel at the treehouse,” Sneeg said, “What are you going to give them, anyways?”

“I dunno,” James shrugged. _Why did I accept this quest?_

“Nice. Hold on a second,” Sneeg laughed, and took out a blueish potion and drank it. 

“That’s a mana potion. Most people who don’t main magic use mana potions in order to use specific types of magic,” Ty explained while Sneeg drank the potion. _That’s how he teleported behind us? Huh._

“Alright. I’ll take you guys there, just lemme do my magic,” Sneeg commented, and some blue wisps appeared and twisted around his hands. I watched the wisps slither over to Ty and I, and then they disappeared. “Here we go!” 

I watched as our bodies slowly disappeared and then reappeared at the bottom of a staircase that seemed to wrap around a large tree. _That felt pretty weird… Well, I’ve never teleported anywhere before, so it would probably feel weird nonetheless._

“Here, you kids can roam around the treehouse while I go get the ‘fucking backup wheel’,” Sneeg said, and walked up the stairs, in no hurry at all. Ty and I followed him up the wooden stairs, and to some kind of platform with lanterns on it.

“It would be easier to see, and probably look nicer in daytime,” Ty commented. _If the lights went out here, we wouldn’t be able to see anything because of how pitch black it gets._

“How do these guys afford houses like this? Is there a real-estate dealer or something?” I asked, motioning at the platforms around the trees. 

“Real-estate? Huh? What a weird word… Well, people buy some property/land with coins and stuff, and get materials to build bases. Most property is pretty expensive,” Ty explained. _So there’s no real-estate in this world. Seems like they don’t even know what it means. Also, this world has a gordranix. A weirder word._

“Can you get jobs?” I asked, waiting to know about this world. _I probably should adapt… things that don’t adapt to their environment usually die, right?_

“Well, the easiest money is in quests, but you could also specialize in monster hunting, which is useful to help people get rid of monster infestations on their property. One of the really popular monster hunters is this dude named Joko, who is notorious for hunting for goblins and creating the company Goblin Check **™** . Most people accept a job when they aren’t in crippling debt, and are looking for something to do,” Ty explained. _That guy Joko must really have it out for goblins. Wait, did he say crippling debt?_

“Hey! I got a spare wheel for those bitches. How much time do you have left on your quest?” Sneeg said, walking over to us. I opened the quest and glanced at the writing. 

“4 hours and 30 minutes,” I stated. _That amount of time went by pretty quickly... that didn’t seem like 30 minutes._

“Well, we’ll be there soon. Lemme get this magic going-”

[You feel as if something filled with darkness is watching you- You’re too scared to use potions]

I looked at the notification, confused. _What is that supposed to mean?_

“Fuck!” Sneeg exclaimed. _He must have gotten the notification… so that means he can’t use the mana potion! Uh-oh._

“The only things that can trigger this are very strong monsters or demons… so we have to walk back to Poke and James,” Ty explained, “Do you have a cart or something?”

“No, but I can see their cart light shining over there. We should hurry before the kid’s quest timer runs out,” Sneeg answered, and pointed to a light in the distance. _Shouldn’t we be worried about the monster that’s looking at us? Wherever it is?_

“I have a lantern we can use. Sneeg, you should lead the way,” Ty said, taking out the same lantern he had earlier. 

“If you say so,” Sneeg agreed, and went down to the forest floor with Ty and I right behind him. 

Sneeg started walking in the forest, trying every now and then to use a potion to no avail. Unlike walking on the path, the ground had overgrown roots and more rocks, which were very hard to look for in the darkness. _Ack!_ I tripped over some tree’s roots that were poking out of the ground, and fell on my face. 

“You good Tommy?” Ty asked when I fell over. I nodded and slowly got up, dusting the dirt off my face. I froze. _I swear I can hear something behind us!_ I turned around to see nothing but darkness. 

“You’re absolutely sure this is the right way?” I asked, passing by a familiar rock. _This dude has no idea where he’s going!_

“I’m very fucking sure I know where I’m going. Shush,” Sneeg said, and kept walking. _Did this dude just tell me to shush?! Seriously?!_

_Bloop._ I heard a very familiar sound, and turned around again. _The slime! It must be the slime that’s following us!_

“Hey… we should probably pick up the pace, Sneeg. Tommy, don’t touch that,” Ty said, glancing back at me. _Touch what?_ I looked around, and took a step forward. _Clank._ One of Ty’s knives impaled a rock. _Impaled? What the-_

“Why the fuck is the rock alive?!” I exclaimed as the funny shaped rock started moving towards me. _WHY ME?!_

I started running forward, along with Sneeg and Ty, as the funny shaped rock fell to the ground and _disappeared. Was that an illusion?!_

“I told you, you probably killed-” Poke was interrupted as all three of us came out of the trees. “Oh, nice.”

“Did you bring back the wheel?” James asked.

“Here Tommy,” Sneeg said, and gave me a wooden wheel. 

[Received “Fucking Wheel”]

“Here you go, I guess,” I said, and then handed the wheel over to James. _What am I going to get for this?_

[Quest Completed!]

“Sneeg, since you got the wheel, you could do the prize for this quest!” James said, and patted Sneeg on the back. 

“No, seriously?! I don’t want to have to give anything! I was the one who brought the wheel!” Sneeg said, crossing his arms

“How about you guys take us to the second town? You’re going there anyways, right?” Ty suggested. _That isn’t much of a prize!_

“Alright. Bye Sneeg,” James nodded, and waved goodbye to Sneeg, whose potions were working again. Ty and I jumped on the back of the cart, while Poke and Sneeg were closer to the front. _I wonder where that monster is…_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Cameos:
> 
> Poke and James- They're miners (not minors)


	6. Who names these towns?!?!

After traveling on the path for a while, the sun started to rise, getting rid of that feeling that the monster was still watching me. 

“What’s ‘Second Town’ like?” I asked Ty.

“It’s mostly like ‘First Town’, except more traders go there and it’s by the sea. Also has pretty nice views,” Ty answered.

“Oh, I guess that’s pretty cool,” I said, looking around the back of the cart. _Wait… how is this cart moving? Magic? Well, that’s pretty easy to guess._

“We’re almost here!” someone yelled from in the front, and I turned around. The trees were basically gone, with the sea and beachside to my left. _Where should I go? Maybe I’ll just stick with Ty for the time being._

“Oh yeah, the salt! Since this town is near the ocean, a bunch of salt sometimes comes into the town, that’s why some of the residents have such bad personalities” Ty said, and looked at the ocean. _Salt? Huh._

The cart stopped moving, and Ty and I jumped off the cart, arriving at “Second Town”’s welcome sign. It read: _You’re now at “Second Town!” The best town ever!_

“Alright, we’ll be going off to fish with the boys then. See you guys” James said, and he and Poke went off into the town. _This town seems a lot more popular than First Town. There’s people everywhere!_

“Well, after a night like that, we should probably get something to eat, right?” Ty said, cracking his knuckles.

“Yea, why not?” I agreed, and Ty and I walked into Second Town, looking for something to eat. _This place is huge!_

“How about here? I’ve eaten here before, it’s pretty good,” Ty commented, and stopped in front of a bakery. I looked up at the sign, reading: _Sylvee’s Bakery_. 

“You should order… I can’t talk to women, remember?” I said to Ty, who sighed. _Sylvee seems like a feminine name, right?_

“Sure, just go sit down somewhere,” Ty said, and walked into the bakery with me following behind him. I went over to an open table near the window and sat down, taking in the view of the bakery. 

It had a very pleasing color scheme for the walls and floor, and lots of tables filled by all sorts of people. _What a popular place…_

“Hey, have you signed up for the tournament yet?” I heard someone ask behind me. _Are they talking to me?_ I turned around, and nope. They weren’t.

“You bet I fucking did dude! Gotta grab some easy coins!”

“You did see who was running the tournament, right?” The first person asked, and (from what I heard) they took out some kind of flyer.

“Oh shit! Seriously? Well, too late now to back out. That company does like hosting its tournaments. It starts later today, right?”

“Yeah, like in the afternoon. It’ll be pretty hot during the tournament, yet people will still line up to watch the fights. Must be pretty entertaining to watch noobs fight to the death. Probably one of the more higher up people will win, like TapL or something.”

“Eh, mostly newbies go to the tournament. Randos. It’ll be easy for someone like TapL to win,” the second person said, and both of them moved away from me. _A tournament? Oooooh. Maybe I could enter! And maybe win! If it is a bunch of newbies, I could beat them! Maybe also beat that high level guy as well._

“What a great idea!” I said to myself, and went outside of the shop. _Now… where is the tournament? It must be somewhere around here, right? Maybe it would have a long line… Hmm._

I started to walk around Second Town, looking for a big place with a long line. I practically jumped when I saw a line of people waiting for something. _MAN, I sure am excited to enter this tournament. Just to make sure, I should ask these guys if they know anything._

“Hey, uh, do you know what this line is for?” I asked someone at the end of the line, who turned to me and sighed, like I was asking how to breathe air. 

“It’s for CRAM of course! What else did you think it would be, a waiting line for MARC?” They answered, and turned back to facing the person in front of them. _CRAM? What the hell is that? Well, it’s not the tournament, that’s for sure._

“Ok,” I said, and left the line, where more people had lined up behind me. _Why is it so popular? Is it some kind of potion of youth?_

I walked away a little faster from the CRAM shop, looking back at the line, which already had more people waiting for it. _How do people have the patience to wait in that line?_ I watched some girls that were right behind each other start fighting like there’s no tomorrow, for one spot ahead in the line. _They’re acting like this is a line for some kind of boy band concert._

“OW!” I exclaimed, running into a board of some sorts. _Seriously?! I was looking where I was going!_

I looked over and saw the board I had run into. It was an advertising board filled with stuff like guild joining, random jobs, and… _the flyer!_

Grabbing the flyer off the board, I skimmed over the information. _That’s a lot of coins… Now, where is it located? Aha! Right outside of town, eh? Great!_

I stuck the flyer back on the board and headed towards the entrance of town, where it seemed there were a bunch of other people headed in the same way that I was going. _This looks like the right way. POG!_

There was some sort of path with an arrow pointing towards it, which I followed to a colosseum looking building. _This place is pretty impressive, I guess._

“Hey, sign up over here guys!” said some kind of mouse looking beastman, with a sort of yellow tint, and what looked like a professional fantasy outfit. 

I walked over to the desk, and grabbed one of the papers. _This is one long paper…._ I skipped to the bottom to where I had to sign. Before signing, I read one line that stood out to me. Or just seemed important, maybe because it was in bold letters.

**_The tournament host will not be responsible for maiment, bruises, and accidental death._ **

_Accidental death?_ I signed the paper reluctantly and gave it back to the beastman. _How could death in a killing tournament be accidental?_

I looked around the inside of the colosseum, which had a bunch of different people just sitting around, looking at the others who were doing the same thing. _There sure are a lot of people here._

I went over and sat down on a nearby bench, where I also partook in looking around the room at my competitors. _Hey! That dude has a headband like Ty’s!_

_Shit._ I sat up, remembering that I had left Ty at the bakery. _He’s probably wondering where I went! Oops._

“Hey, what’s so exciting for you?” I looked over and saw an average looking adventurer with pointed ears. _An elf? There’s elves in this world?_

“Uh, nothing,” I replied, looking him in the eyes.

“Well, nice to meet you. I’m Shadowapples, but most people call me Billy. Can’t wait to beat you in the tournament, _if_ we even make it past the first round,” Billy said. _This BASTARD! What kind of person with the name BILLY would go around insulting ME._

“What the fuck? You bitch! I can totally win!” I said angrily, getting some nearby stares from other people around us. _Who does this guy think he is?! Wait... did he say we?_

“Yeah, sure kid, you haven’t seen some of the guys participating, have you?” Billy said, and left me alone on the bench. _Kid?!?_

_Are all these people so confident?! Wait, he brought up something…. What was it?_ I thought for a second. _Oh yeah! A first round…. There’s more than one?_

“Hey! Is this armor any good?” someone said. The person who asked was standing next to a desk, with the words _Free Armor For Contestants!_

“My contract requires that I say yes,” the mouse commented, and went back to helping other people sign in.

The person who asked took some of the armor and it disappeared, probably added to their inventory. _Hey! Maybe I should use that armor! Mine is dirty, and maybe this one is stronger than beginner armor._

I got up and walked over to the desk, and picked up the armor. It was added to my inventory, labeled as “armor”. _Huh… it doesn’t have a weird name or anything. Nice!_

I walked away from the desk to see that Billy had sat down where I was sitting, talking to someone else. _Seriously?!_ I was about to go give Billy a piece of my mind when the conversations around me suddenly stopped. _Huh?_

I looked around, and it seemed everyone was staring at someone new who was walking into the entrance. _What the… why is everyone silent?_

A beastman, with the head of a pig, wearing a crown studded with jewels and a long robe that surrounded the entire body. The pig looked around at everyone, then walked to the mouse and grabbed one of the sheets. 

Someone near me whispered, “Hey, isn’t that Technoblade?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Cameos:
> 
> Billy/ Shadowapples- I’m so sorry if I made Billy sound too mean, I tried my best to make him sound rude-ish but not mean
> 
> Noah/Pikaclicks- He’s the yellow mouse beastman at the desk, we never mentioned him by name though.
> 
> Sylvee- she owns a bakery in this world! Although she doesn’t make an appearance I can assure you that the menu does include beans
> 
> TapL- he and some of the other UHC players will be mentioned or make appearances later on during the tournament.
> 
> CRAM- Lunch club will be appearing in later chapters! Cram is popular in Second Town.
> 
> The dude with the headband like Ty’s is just a rando


	7. Tornament Pt.1

_Who? Why is everyone acting like this guy just killed someone?_ I, along with everyone else, just watched this Technoblade dude sign the papers. After a minute or so of silence, everyone just started talking again, except the conversations were aimed at this pig beastman.

"What's he doing here? Isn't he retired?"

"I don't think I'm going to win anymore, damn."

"Hey, if we all team on Techno, we have a chance!"

"Remember that time he took on like 20 people at once?! And won?!"

The remarks ranged from violent to fangirly, and a lot of people acting like this Technoblade was going to one-shot them. _This dude must be pretty popular..._

"Hey, everyone, the tournament is going to start in a few minutes. Just be prepared and what not," the mouse beastman announced. The tournament participants lowered their gazes from Technoblade and started showing off their weapons to the others.

_I hope Ty isn't too mad I left him alone in that bakery._ I was observing my beginner's sword when I saw two oddly dressed people enter the entrance. One was dressed as some sort of knight, and the other was a red penguin beastman that seemed more penguin than human.

"Ah, welcome. You must be the news people, right?" the mouse asked them, and they both nodded.

"Yeah, I run Hypixel Alert, and Zyphon is the one that makes newspaper articles," the knight replied, and the mouse motioned to a door located to the side, where the two newscasters went inside.

_News reporters? In this kind of fantasy world? Wait, no... this will be reported on?!? I must do my best then!! And win!!_ I got a boost of motivation from learning the knowledge that my brilliance will be broadcasted. * _If* I even qualify for the second round._

_*Bing*_ Some kind of bell was rung, which echoed through the entrance. The mouse got up from his desk and came to the back of the place, and stood on a pedestal of some sorts.

"Aw man... I thought he was going to skip it this time," someone near me whispered. _What is 'it'? Is it like some kind of criminal check or something?_

"I'd like to thank you all today, on the behalf of Schlatt & Co, for participating in this tournament. Now, before you enter the tournament, as the supervisor I'd like to go over some rules and a brief summary of what will partake."

At the last sentence, a good percent of the people here groaned.

"Let's start from the top, shall we? First of all, this tournament will have two rounds. First round will be you alone vs. a Rhiknolas. If you get severely injured, you lose. If you kill it, you win. The second will be a free-for-all fight against all who beat the first round. You are not allowed to kill anyone, but maiming and injuring is allowed. You'll also have an item that you can use to disqualify. How else would it play out? Now, let's go over the rules. Rule number 1, the crowd is not allowed to interfere with the tournament in any way, doing so will grant you a hefty fine. Well, that's pretty important," the mouse then droned on and on about how many rules there are in this goddamn tournament. _Does this dude do this every time? Is it even really necessary?_

Everyone sat in silence, waiting for this beastman to finish the rules. _If this goes on for any longer, I'm going to fall asleep!_

*BEEP* _POG._ The mouse was interrupted by a sort of bell, and a voice coming from somewhere seemed to magically echo throughout the whole place. _I hope that means this dude is done talking._

"Welcome everyone to this tournament! Our first competitor will be chosen in a few seconds, and a live spell will broadcast every fight today!" the voice echoed through us, and the mouse stepped down from the pedestal.

_So everyone here is going to watch other people fight? So they can laugh at people who fail?_ I got a little nervous.

"Anddd.... Our first person up is none other than Technoblade himself! Wow, that's a face I haven't seen in a while!" the voice proclaimed, and we all watched Techno walk to an entrance, taking out a sword from underneath his cloak.

Some kind of projection appeared on the wall, which showed a gladiator-looking pit. On one side was Technoblade, and on the other was a red rhino creature with one giant horn.

A bell rang, and Technoblade swished his sword, waiting for the rhino to charge. They circled like wolves, until the rhino charged at Technoblade. A few seconds later, the only thing left of the monster was the horn _._ The crowd went wild, and started cheering. _What the fuck?!?! Is it just a really easy monster? Or is that guy so overpowered that he killed it with one sword swipe? What the fuck?!_

The names called up went by like a flash. The only person I observed was Billy, and unfortunately, he got past the first round. It felt like being picked for a dodgeball team, the more popular people went up after Techno, until it filtered down to the newbies and me.

"Next one, uhh... Tommy? Is there a Tommy here?" the voice asked, and I stood up. _Finally!_

"Yeah, that's me!" I exclaimed, and equipped the free armor I had picked up at the desk and my beginner sword. _My time to shine!!_

"Please welcome our next contender- TOMMY!" some beastman kid announced as I walked into the arena. There was this kid with blue cat ears sitting on chairs closer to the stadium. _Is he a commentator? Huh.._

"Will Tommy get this epic victory royale? Or have a near death experience? Let's find out.... GO!" the kid announced, and the rhino was let into the arena. The sun was glaring from above, heating up the sandy ground. _Alright. Let's do this._

The red rhino stomped on the ground, and charged straight at me. My agility let me escape it while damaging it with my sword. Unfortunately, it did not die in one hit. The sword left a very shallow wound, and some goop got on my sword. _More monster goop for the collection._

"It looks like Tommy barely escapes that charge! What a save, what a save!"

The red rhino backed up, and I got a good look at it. The horn was significantly larger, probably used to impale opponents. There was also the very noticeable red color attached to it. _Maybe if I open that wound a little more-_

"The Rhiknolas once again rushes at Tommy!"

I stood my ground as the rhino charged at me, waiting to get a clear swipe. I dived away, stabbing my sword again into the rhino's side, where it dug into the skin more. _If I keep doing this, it'll eventually die! Right?_

But instead of moving forward, the rhino kicked backwards with the sword still stuck in the wound, and I went flying towards the wall. _FUCK!_ I did a somersault onto my feet and stared at the rhino.

"In a shocking turn of events, Tommy loses his sword to the beast and is kicked into the wall! Will he be able to recover from such an injury?!"

_My sword! This bastard has my sword!_ I looked at the rhino in the horn and made a very fast decision.

"Oh! It looks like Tommy is now rushing towards the Rhiknolas! That is NOT going to end well, folks!"

The rhino also started charging in my direction, lowering its giant horn, aiming for my torso. _This better work!_ I launched myself above the horn, aiming for my sword which was stuck in the hide.

[Your "Armor" has been broken due to too much damage]

The crowd gasped. My armor disappeared as I gripped the sword, trying to pull it out while riding the rhino. _Clink!_ The sword came out, covered in red rhino goo, and some weird sound vibrated through the skin.

"And the spikes come out! Ooh, that's gotta hurt!"

Some kind of spikes had poked through the skin, scraping my arm. _WHAT THE FUCK?!?!??! IT CAN EVOLVE?!! ALSO, OW!_

"Tommy has regained his sword, but at what cost? Let's hope he doesn't lose his arm!"

_Of course the free armor is shoddy. It broke after like two h_ _its! Now I'm bleeding, fuck!_ I held my sword with my right arm and drank a small healing potion. The wound then only looked like a scar, and the blood just disappeared.

"Another charge attack, directly for the Rhiknolas! Is this going to work?!"

I ran with my sword towards the spiked rhino with a giant horn, a line I would never think I would have thought of. _Doesn't matter now, I need to win!_ The rhino didn't run at me, though, and just waited there. _Why isn't it moving?_

"The Rhiknolas charges! Though, with a little less gusto than before if I have to say."

The rhino charged at me, but I was able to _very_ easily dodge the horn, as if the rhino had run out of energy. _Uh... whatever!_

I stabbed the rhino again with my sword, and it weakly kicked back before collapsing on the ground. _Is this sword poisoned or something?_ I hit it once with my sword, and the rhino started falling apart.

"It looks like, in an uneventful turn of events, Tommy manages to slay the Rhiknolas! Tommy will move on to the next round!"

There were some people clapping, not as much celebration as that Technoblade dude got though. I proceeded to walk out of the arena, filled with confusion of how I beat that monster. _Well, that doesn't matter anymore! I got into round 2! What was it again..?_

I went and sat in a room with a bunch of other people, though most of them were probably higher levels than me. I saw Technoblade sitting at the very end, chatting with someone with dark skin and black adventurers clothes.

I sat down on an empty bench, still agitated that the free armor I had used had broken after two hits. _I'm going to have to wear the dirty armor now... in whatever challenge the second round will bring._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Cameos:
> 
> Lego Maestro and Zyphon- These guys are news reporters in the world! They both are part of their own newspaper companies.
> 
> JunkyJanker- He's the announcer in the tournament, he isn't named but he's there. He's also the dude who voices Gumball in the amazing world of gumball, pretty cool B). 
> 
> Schlatt & Co- Schlatt & Co has been revealed to be the ones running this tournament! Makes sense why the free armor is shoddy now, right?
> 
> Cxlvxn (Calvin)- Techno is chatting with him at the end, that's probably the only time he will show up though.


	8. Tornament Pt.2

There were only a couple of people who entered the waiting room after me, meaning that they beat the red spiked rhino and had moved on to the next round. I exchanged a glance at Billy, who did not look back at me and continued talking to someone else.

“Are you excited? You get to participate in the second round!” I heard someone next to me ask their friend, who didn’t seem that excited.

“Yeah, against Technoblade. He’s totally going to win!”

“Maybe not, there’s a lot of good people here. Also, he probably hasn’t done pvp in a while.”

“Yeah, true.”

_If Technoblade hasn’t done pvp in a while, why would he join the tournament?_ I sat there wondering about it when someone familiar walked through the door. _The mouse! It’s that guy who talked for way too long!_

“Well, that’s everyone. Congrats on passing the first round! Now, let me explain the second and final round for this tournament. Each of you will be placed randomly in a contained area, and the border will press everyone closer until there’s one person left, and they win the money!” The mouse explained. Everyone started to get up, and then the mouse started again.

“Oh! I almost forgot to mention the elimination method! Everyone will be given a magic item, that when you click the magic item once, it’ll teleport you to a safe place and you’ll be disqualified. Once everyone except one person has been disqualified, that person wins! Also, if you actually end up killing someone, you’ll get immediately disqualified. No killing allowed! Maiming is fine, though,” the beastman finished, and started handing out a button that seemed to be inside a box. “The button can be added to your inventory, and taken out when you need to get out of a scary or life threatening situation!”

[Disqualification Button added to inventory. Slots available: 6/10]

_So… if you don’t press the button, you won’t get disqualified. What would happen if you stole someone else's button?_ The people around me compared their buttons, which all seemed to be individual colors. 

“Give us a few minutes and we’ll get you all to your spots,” the mouse said, and left the waiting room. _How are they going to do that?_

I stared at the people around me, who seemed to have good armor and some pretty sharp looking weapons. _Fucking hell! How am I going to stand a chance against these guys?!_

I looked back at Technoblade, who seemed to be staring back at me. I quickly glanced at the ground, avoiding staring back. _What does this dude want with me?!_

I was about to go give this pig a piece of my mind when the buttons around me buzzed.

[Teleporting to “Pvp fight arena #12, spawn #40”]

I was then standing on a small circular wooden platform, which seemed worn down with scratch marks and _blood? Yikes._ The sky was also fading slowly into darkness, which meant that it must be twilight.

“Welcome contestants! Each of you are placed at least 14 feet away from someone else. Don’t leave the platform until I say go!”

_What would happen if we got off the platform? Would we explode or something?_ The voice boomed a countdown from 10, got confused on if 5 or 3 would come first, then eventually yelled **GO**.

The skylight was rapidly fading, which would soon leave most people in darkness (I assumed). I equipped my dirty armor and sword, then glanced at the sky. _Darkness could be the death of me, or at very least the disqualification of me. Is there any light source around here?_

I started running towards the trees, which were bunched close together and spread apart further away, probably towards the center where everyone was visible. _I should stick in the darkness, since most of the people participating are probably going to try to eliminate me the first chance they get. Like Billy._

[One person has switched to your P.O.V.]

_Eh?! What’s that mean?_ I looked around as the space around me got darker, and in a few moments I could barely see a few feet in front of me. 

***Crack*** A branch was broken nearby, sending shivers down my spine. _This feels more like a horror game than a free-for-all tournament._

“I can’t see a fucking thing!” someone exclaimed from close-by, and I stood still, hiding behind a tree. _Wait a second… I could use darkness to defeat this guy!_

As my vision slowly adjusted to the darkness, I was preparing to jump whoever had a pathetic agility skill when I heard someone else rush the person. I glanced over and some guy wearing a mask on the side of his face had the person at swordpoint. The person took out their button, pressed it, and disappeared. 

_SHIT!_ I slowly went behind the tree, trying as hard as I could to not alert the orange/green masked man to my presence. 

_I guess my special skill comes in handy here…_ I listened to the footsteps of the masked man go further and further away, until I decided that it was ok to go out from behind the tree.

I walked forwards, trying to avoid making any loud sounds or stepping on any branches. _That dude made a noise and was immediately caught. These guys are like fucking hunters or something!_

[ **!WARNING!** Border will close in **ONE MINUTE**. Not being in the boundaries will result in every player having a knowledge of your current location]

[You are far enough away from the border, there is no need to hurry]

_Well, that’s convenient. Now, should I start trying to disqualify people or just wait out somewhere? Hmm…_ I started walking again, using my enhanced eyesight to scout ahead. 

“Aw man, you got me! Darn,” I heard a voice from up ahead, and immediately dashed into the trees. I glanced just in time to make out a guy with black hair wearing a suit press his button, and disappear. _Who disqualified him?_ I took a risk and looked at whoever happened to be standing next to him. It was Technoblade, who was holding my gaze.

_FUCK!! Oh no!_ I sprinted out of there, my agility proving useful in not making as much sound. 

[10 people have switched to your P.O.V.]

[ **BONUS!** An aura of light has been added around your vision for a pleasing viewer experience]

The place around me suddenly was lit up, and I was able to see without having to focus in the dark. _Oh, poggers! Why’d those people switch to me, though? Is it because the suit guy got disqualified or something?_

_Is that beastman chasing me?_ I turned around, but there was no one running at me, which was reassuring. _How’d he know I was there?!? Is Technoblade a psychic or something?_

I heard something creak nearby, and I lifted my sword, looking around for whatever made that noise. A figure stepped out into my line of view, holding a silver sword that seemed to emit light. The only thing was that this dude looked like he came out of a steampunk era, with some kind of robot face mask and some steampunk-looking armor. _Well, might as well fight this dude._

I raised my sword, and thrusted towards the steampunk man, who barely got out of the way so I managed to get a hit in. He went for my torso, which I blocked with my sword and tried to hit him again, but missed. He then looked at something in front of him, (a notification?) and tried taking something out. I stepped on his foot, which made him grab something else out of his inventory and it fell out of his hand, falling on the ground. _Wait- that’s the button!_

“Nooo!” the steampunk man yelled as I lunged for the button and pressed it while the guy looked at me in hatred before disappearing. _I did it! I disqualified someone!_

[2 people have switched to your P.O.V.]

I looked around, looking if anyone had seen our short fight and wanted to battle the winner. _Nope. Alright, let’s go._

[Player **TECHNOBLADE** has gone behind the border. Location: 10 feet south]

_10 FEET?!!? Is the border really that close?!? Hold on, TECHNOBLADE?!_ I started to run slowly away from my spot, and heard loud footsteps that seemed to be coming from everywhere. I dived into a bush, getting my already dirty armor dirtier, and watched a bunch of people run by. _Do they really wanna beat this dude that bad?!_

After skillfully avoiding people by hiding in a bush for a few minutes, me and whoever else was watching my P.O.V. saw Technoblade walk by, with what looked like no injuries anywhere. _WHAT?!?_ I stayed still for another minute, looking for if anyone had escaped or was coming after Technoblade. _No one. HOW IS THERE NO ONE?! Did Technoblade take on all those people by himself? And fucking win?!_

[20 people have switched to your P.O.V.]

[There is only 15 people left]

_All those people who were watching the guys who attacked Technoblade must have switched to me. Also, 15 people?!_ I left the bush and started heading the way Technoblade had gone, which would probably have less people trying to attack me.

[ **!WARNING!** Border will shrink in **1 MINUTE** , and twice as much, blocking off the secluded forest!]

[You are not safe, you need to get out of the forest!]

_Bruh._ I walked a little further into the forest, observing how the trees became further and further spread apart, putting me more out in the open. 

[Player **SHADOWAPPLES** has gone behind the border. Location: 20 feet north, 15 feet west]

_Shadowapples? Wait, that’s Billy!_ I gripped my sword and hid behind a tree. _Probably a pro or someone will go for him._

***BOOM*.** Pieces of the ground were launched everywhere by some kind of explosion, which made me fall to the ground. _FUCK!!!_ I glanced over and saw Billy and the guy with the orange/green mask fighting with swords, and it seemed Billy had chuckened an explosive at the man with the mask. _Couldn’t the explosive kill that dude? Then he would have murdered someone, right?_

“Oh, hey,” I glanced up to see Technoblade standing above me, looking down. _EHHHH!??!?!?_ The dude then just left me on the ground and went to the other people fighting. 

[Many people are confused in your P.O.V.]

I sat up, dusting my armor, and looked over at the fight just in time to see Billy press the button. _HAH! I survived longer!! Why didn’t that beastman try to disqualify me though?_

I opened my inventory and looked at the button that was just sitting there. _This looks a little different from the ones the other guys pressed._

I closed my inventory and looked over at the clearing, which had multiple holes in it from Billy’s bombs. _How many explosives did that dude have?_

***Crunch*.** Something behind me stepped on a branch, making a sort of crunching sound. I lept away as soon as I could, then watched the ground where I was standing being stabbed by a sword.

“Wowee! How’d you hear me? Super hearing?” the guy with the mask exclaimed, who had decided to disqualify me, “Well, that doesn’t matter anymore. You must have done something to be able to survive this long.”

“Yeah, it’s fucking luck mate,” I replied, and blocked his sword swipe with my sword. _Fighting without this light would be really hard… this event is marketed towards popular people, eh?_

We pushed our swords closer together, and I was struggling against this guy's strength. _That doesn’t look good for me. Uh oh._

***Clink*.** My sword was hit out of my hand by his strength, and fell to the ground a few feet away. _Uh oh._ I looked at the man with the mask on the side of his face, who was grinning. 

He held the sword up to threaten me. 

“Press the button.”

“Why should I?! I can totally get out of this situatio-”

“Come on, really? Stop stalling man,” the guy said, and waved his sword around. “I’ve gotta win this tournament.”

_This is not going to end well. Shit, think! Come on, there must be something I can do!_

“Technoblade?!” I yelled and pointed behind him to nothing, and the man turned around, giving me the chance to run. _What an idiot!!_

[Level up in Stamina- Level 2]

I glanced back to see the dude start sprinting after me, looking angry. There was a rock in the middle of the clearing, which looked hard to climb. _I could hide there!_ I leapt for a hole in the rock which I could hang onto, my agility providing useful. _HAH! Take that, bastard!!!_

I slowly climbed up the rock, hoping that the guy with the mask didn’t have a projectile or arrows. I reached the top, which was probably about 15 feet off the ground. _HAHA!! Now I have an advantage! How many people are left, anyway?_

I saw Technoblade standing alone, facing the guy that nearly killed me. _Hold on… is there no one else left?! Really?! Also, it seems my light has increased its range. Cool!_

I couldn’t hear what they were saying, and the guy with the mask pointed to me. _Is he trying to intimidate me? Well, I can do that better!_

I stood up and held my disqualification button, waving it around and laughing. _HAHA!!_ I looked at the man as I stood on the rock. 

***KLUNK*.** I tripped, which made the butto- _SHITFUCKOHNOAAAAAA._ I watched the button plummet off the cliff, nearing closer to the ground, until it eventually hit the ground. **BEEP.**

[You have been disqualified]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Cameos:
> 
> Graser- he was the steampunk guy. Since robots don’t exist in fantasy worlds we decided to make him steampunky instead. 
> 
> xNestorio-He’s referred to as “guy wearing black hair and a suit”
> 
> TapL- he’s the mask guy that got Tommy.


	9. Another fucking quest

I was teleported off the rock and into the waiting room where I had entered. _IHATETHISSTUPIDFUCKINGICAN’TBELIVETHIS._ I kicked the wall in anger, and immediately regretted it. 

I checked my inventory, and it seemed the sword had somehow gotten in there. _Eh?? Well, that’s probably good. I still have a weapon._

I stepped outside the waiting room, still fuming, to see all the other contestants just waiting there as the sunlight slowly started to fill the arena. I glanced over at the steampunk guy, who gave an agitated look back at me. _Eek. So, what are we waiting for? The winner?_

Suddenly, half of the audience broke out in cheers of celebration, and the other half groaned. 

“And it looks like Technoblade has achieved an epic victory royale! Congrats to TapL for making it in second place as well!” the old dude announced, and Technoblade and the dude with the mask (who I assumed was the one called TapL) appeared in front of everyone. _Didn’t I get third place?!? Do I not get a prize?!_

“Ayyyy, good game,” Technoblade said, and shook TapL’s hand. 

“Yeah, haven’t seen you in a while,” TapL agreed. Technoblade chuckled and took a bag from the old dude, which was probably filled with the prize money.

“What made you come back to participate in this tournament, eh?” the blue cat-eared boy asked. 

“The coins, of course,” Technoblade responded and the bag of coins disappeared in his hands. _What a boring reason._

“Alright! TapL and Techno, please wait in the room for an interview, which you guys probably already know,” the old man said, and motioned to the waiting room. “The rest of you can leave with a complimentary gift bag, and have a good rest of your day!”

The arena slowly started to empty, and I followed the crowd which led out of the arena. _There were a lot of people watching us here… huh._

“Hey, Tommy!” someone called out, and came over to me. _Oh, it’s Ty._

“Oh. Hi Ty,” I said, “How’d you find me anyways?”

“I just decided to go to my boss after you disappeared, because I had to report what I’ve done so far. It just so happens you entered the tournament where my boss was. How convenient,” Ty replied, and shrugged. “You really screwed up at the end.”

“Yeah, yeah, whatever. Hey, is there any way I could talk to that Technoblade dude?” I asked. _I could get free training from him! Maybe! Well, he didn’t instantly disqualify me, so…._

“Uhhh… maybe. You could talk to my boss, he could get you to Technoblade,” Ty shrugged. _Aha! Who is Ty’s boss anyway?_

“Sounds great! Uh… where’s your boss?” I asked, and Ty motioned for me to follow him. We went back to the tournament, to see Ty point to a tall figure wearing a cloak.

“Ah, kid! Haven’t seen you in a day or two,” the figure replied in a welcoming voice, “And who’s this?” 

“Tommy. He was in the tournament, now he wants to talk to Technoblade,” Ty answered. I looked at the hooded figure closer. He seemed to be wearing a long brown cloak connected by some kind of gold coin with an S engraved on it. The points of some kind of horn barely peeked out from the hood, and his face was completely hidden. 

“You want to talk to Technoblade, eh? It’ll cost you,” the figure said. Ty sighed.

“Why should it cost me?! There’s no absolute reason and no way in-” I started ranting, and the figure interrupted me.

“Go and play with your crayons, kid. How about this? You’ll be in debt to me in order to talk to Technoblade. Seems fair, yes?” the figure said, and a paper seemed to appear out of thin air. 

“Seriously?” Ty commented, and watched as I took the paper in my hands. The paper just seemed to be a statement about whoever signed this owned Jschlatt a favor. _Jschlatt? Is that this dude’s name?_ I used a nearby pen and signed my name on the paper, and watched as it disappeared back into the air. _This world seems to be built on contracts and quests. Everyone wants you to sign their contract and yada yada._

“Great doing business with you,” Jschlatt said, and turned to the door behind him, “Techno’s in there.”

“Thanks, I guess?” I replied and walked into the room. Technoblade’s head looked up from the desk and got confused when he saw me. 

“Ehh? What are you doing here?” 

“Wait… why did I want to talk to you?”

“To talk about how you disqualified yourself in the tournament?”

“No. What the fuck?! Hey, could you train me? You’re like a veteran right? What else would you do??” I suggested. Technoblade shrugged.  
  


“What have you done for me to train you?” Technoblade said, crossing his arms. _Why does everyone want stuff?!_

“Nothing,” I said, and Technoblade was about to open his mouth, “BUT! I can do a quest, or something.”

“I mean… I’ve only known you for like 6 hours, but sure. Lemme see,” Technoblade grabbed a piece of paper from a nearby stack of paper, and started scrolling through something. The beastman took out a pen and started writing on the piece of paper. _He does have… some kind of hooves as hands. How does he hold a sword? Uhhhhhh…… does he have thumbs?_

“Here. You can probably find me by contacting Schlatt,” Techno said, and gave me the paper he had. 

-

[Quest accepted!]

Max limit of quests reached- **2/2**

Quest- Spy on Im_a_squid_kid’s potato farming technique

Clear Conditions: Go to Squid Island and talk to my rival and steal his ideas (complemented by crude drawings of potatoes and a squid in a suit)

Difficulty: **D**

Time Limit: 2 Days

Compensation: Training by me (Technoblade, PVP master)

Failure: **500** gold coins

-

“500 gold coins! What are you on about?! Who the heck is squidkid?!” I exclaimed after reading the whole thing. _What is it with people making the failure rate so high?! I mean, Poke and James put death as a failure, and now money?! What’s next, women!?!_

“I need the money, man. Squid used to be my rival. Oh and by the way, his island is out in the ocean. Probably need a boat or something to get there,” Technoblade said, providing information before walking out of the room. _WHAT THE FUCK?!?!?!? Are you serious, Technoblade?! In the OCEAN?!!!_

“So, uh, how did it go?” Ty asked as I walked out of the room. 

“I got another quest, to a place in the ocean apparently. I have no fucking clue how I’m going to get there,” I answered, and Ty shrugged. 

“There is a boat dock in town, Tommy. You could probably ask someone for a boat ride, or just rent a boat. Also, if you don’t do this, you’ll be in debt. 500 gold coins. Geez,” Ty said, looking at the quest I had shown him. 

“Do you know where the docks are?” I asked Ty, who nodded.

“Yeah, I could take you there. Though I couldn’t stay there, I still have business with the boss,” Ty said, “Well then. Let’s go”

Ty and I walked out of the entrance, Ty leading the way through Second Town. We passed the Cram Shop, which seemed to be closed, and a big building called “THE”. _What is “THE” supposed to be? “The” what?_

Ty stopped at an entranceway, pointing up at the sign which read: _Ocean Docks- A way to park your water car!_

“Alright then. I’ll be off,” Ty said, and waved goodbye to me. I waved back, then headed into the docks. There were a plethora of different kinds of boats, some houseboats while others intricate fishing boats with big sails and plenty of fishing rods. _Woah._

I started to walk along the wooden docks, glancing at the boats and the people moving along them. _Which one of these people would take me to the island? There’s a bunch of different people… hey, wait. I think I know that guy!_

“Oh, hey man,” James said as he walked past me with various fishing poles, “What are you doing here?”

“Well, I need to complete a quest that requires me to go to squid kid’s island. And to do that, I need a boat,” I explained my dilemma to James, who nodded thoughtfully.

“Well, we could drop you off at his island. You did help us with the wheel, and our team is going fishing together,” James said, “Our boat is over there, we’ll go soon.”

“Alright, thanks mate,” I said, and headed in the direction he was going. There was a group of people near multiple small boats, and the only one I recognized was Pokay. 

There was a pink haired man with miner goggles similar to James’ , a man with longer and darker hair, a guy with brown hair and glasses, another wearing a cowboy outfit, a guy wearing an adventurer’s outfit with some kind of purple amulet, and another brown haired guy wearing glasses and a red bow tie. They all seemed to be talking with each other and some were holding what I assumed was fish bait. 

“Hey everyone, we’re going to give this kid a ride to squid kid’s island since he needs to go there,” James announced, and I introduced myself. 

“Oh, yeah! You were that dude who found the fucking wheel with Sneeg!” Poke said, and then turned to the pink haired guy with goggles. 

“Hey, why do you need to go to squid kid’s island anyways?” the dude with the glasses and no bow tie asked, coming over to me. 

“Technoblade gave me a quest, and I’ll be in debt if I don’t finish it,” I explained, and the dude laughed. 

“Really? Technoblade? Nice. Me and Micheal won a tournament with that dude and Dream,” the dude said, amused, and watched as James finished bringing supplies for the fishing trip. 

“Alright everyone, let’s go!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Cameos:
> 
> Squid Kid- Tommy has to ride over to his island to find out more info on his potato farming techniques 
> 
> TCE- In order from how Tommy described: Luna, Michael, Burren, Dinkster, Antvenom, Beef. They’re going fishing with the boys
> 
> Schlatt- he’ll be playing a bigger role in the future, there’s also a reason why he wears a cloak that covers all of his features...


	10. Squid Island

I got on a boat with Poke, James, and Burren, who had introduced themselves to me. The others got in some different boats, which they all drove close together. The trip was kind of nauseating, most likely because they often tried to push one another off the boats and jokingly tried to fish each other using the fishing rods. They also spent a good chunk of time impersonating someone named “Swaggersouls”. The boat ride seemed way longer than it should have, and eventually we reached the docks of _Squid Island._

“Have fun, kid!” James said as I stepped off the boat, and watched as the boats went off into the ocean, most likely to fish. _So… how would I “steal squid’s ideas”? Would I just go around taking notes? Hey, how am I going to get back to the mainland? FUCK!_

I looked at the entranceway, which reminded me of that fancy guild building from a while ago. I read a sign that said: _Island is open to visitors!_

_This place has no security or some kind of system restricting visitors from going anywhere._ I walked through the halls, looking at various big paintings hung around the walls. Some even looked like _This place is nice! But why is Technoblade rivals with this dude? What happened?_

I soon came across a very noticeable painting that was framed on the wall, which was just a potato and some writing saying ‘#2 Potato’ _Why would he flaunt his second place ranking? Wouldn’t a normal person just wait until they were first place to brag? Also, why potatoes?_

_Oh yeah, the quest!_ Engraved on the scroll were absurdly...unique drawings of potatoes. _Am I supposed to be spying on Squid’s potato drawing techniques or- oh my GOD!_

I exited the glamorous hallways and only saw potatoes. _WHAT THE FUCK?!?!_ I was definitely meant to be spying on the potato farm. The vast, never ending land full of potatoes. _What the fuck?!? Why on earth would anyone feel the need to do this?_

There were lines upon lines of just potatoes growing from the ground, and tons of signs that seemed to label the potato count of each field. _That is a fucking insane amount of potatoes…_

I decided to walk along a path leading through a potato field, looking for some sort of consistency or something explaining the potato method. _This place is very organized… How much time was spent on these farms?_

There seemed to be some kind of minions placed around the fields, which I watched pick up the fully grown potatoes and planted new seeds in the same spot. _Uh…. is that child labor? Does that count? Are those even children..? Maybe that would count as a tactic?_ I took a mental note of the minions and carried on.

After walking for ten minutes, I noticed that it seemed to be the same thing over and over, the minions picking up the potatoes and replanting them. _How long is this farm anyways?!_

***BOOM*.** Suddenly, a loud boom shook the ground. I glanced to the sky and saw a plume of smoke come from somewhere nearby. I equipped my sword, just in case, and ran through a field of potatoes and hopped a fence to see a destroyed greenhouse with glass shards hazardly spread on the ground. 

“Hey! What the heck happened-” someone yelled as they came running over to the explosion site. “Who are you?! Did you do this!?”

The person asking seemed to be a sort of blue beastman, with long darker blue hair. He was wearing a fancy outfit. _Is he supposed to be a squid beastman? I mean, his name is Squid Kid and his skin does look…. squid-like._

“No, why would I do this?! I’m Tommy,” I exclaimed, and shook his hand. 

“Then what kind of bozo did?! I had a full greenhouse complete with bees and everything!” the guy (who was probably Squid) complained and walked over to the destroyed greenhouse. 

Some kind of evil laughter echoed around the area, and suddenly the bees (which had somehow survived the explosion) started flying in the same direction, away from the island. Squid and I just stared as they flew further and further away.

“Uh… what the fuck just happened?!” I exclaimed, motioning to the now empty greenhouse. Squid shrugged.

“I honestly have no idea. So, what brings you here Tommy?” Squid said, kicking glass shards into a pile.

“Uh- Technoblade,” I replied. Squid laughed, then probably realized I wasn’t joking. 

“Seriously?! That bozo sent you here for a quest or something, didn’t he,” Squid said, “I mean, he doesn’t give out quests anymore! Or, at least, he used to not give out quests.”

“Well, he was in a tournament yesterday. Maybe he’s changing it up?” I suggested. _Maybe he’s gone broke…_

“Well, he stopped going to those altogether to farm potatoes for the war. He spent so much time and effort just for potatoes!” Squid exclaimed. _A war for potatoes?!_

“Well, it looks like you did as well. Aren’t you using child labor here?”

“WHAT?! No, I summoned those minions! Are you crazy or something?” Squid exclaimed, pulling out a water-themed staff.

“Wouldn’t they have consciousness, though?!” I rebutted, suddenly caring for the nameless minions.

“They don’t have emotions, bozo!! They’re basically like those planting machines at Third Town!” Squid explained, pointing at the minions, “I am not breaking any laws here! What are you, some kind of cop?!”

I let out a full minute of laughter, before replying “No, no, man. I’m just a regular guy who gets very lucky.”

“Yeah, you got a quest from Technoblade. What is that quest anyways?” Squid asked, coming closer to me. _Should I show him? Ehhhhh...why not?_ I took out and showed Squid a piece of paper that appeared when I used the quest tab and clicked on Techno’s quest. 

“Steal my ideas? We used practically the same thing to farm potatoes, the only difference was that he spent hours after hours farming potatoes by hand, eventually getting enough to win,” Squid explained.

“So it’s over then? Then why would Technoblade send me here?! There’s no point!!” I exclaimed, angry. 

“Uh… well maybe he’s gone senile?” Squid suggested, then laughed, “That bozo could easily fly here on his plane! Maybe he just sent you to do something easy so he could train you?”

“I had to find a boat to get over here! If I hadn’t gone here, I would be in debt!” I complained. _500 gold coins in debt, nonetheless!_

“Techno acts like a hermit most of the time… probably why he needs more coins. Anyways, what the heck blew up my greenhouse?!” Squid exclaimed and motioned to the blown up greenhouse, which was now lacking bees.

“Well, someone with an evil laugh did it,” I said, thinking back to the evil laughter that had echoed around the destroyed greenhouse. _It didn’t sound truly evil, though._

“Why would the bozo have evil laughter?” Squid asked, a confused look on his face. _Did he not hear it?_

“There was laughter as the bees flew off! Did you not hear it or something?!” I exclaimed, and Squid shook his head. 

“Maybe you just have good hearing or something. Did the people you ride with agree to come back here?” Squid asked. _They just left and didn’t say anything. Uh-oh._

“Uh, well, they just left to go fishing,” I answered. _Fishing with the boys, is how they put it._

“Oh! You must have gone with Team Chunk Error here! They go fishing around here often,” Squid deduced from the minimal evidence I had given him. _Team Chunk Error? What a weird name. Honestly, I should be used to those kinds of names at this point._

“Yea, I have no idea if they’ll come back or not. So I probably need a different ride back,” I said. _Maybe I can use something here to get back. What do I need to complete this quest anyways?_

“You could use my boat when you want to leave. I don’t really need it anymore,” Squid suggested. _He could just give a boat away freely?! Is that flexing?_

“What should I give to Technoblade then? Just saying something?” I thought outloud. _I mean, this quest has no purpose, right?_

“You could give him a piece of paper with some writing on it and he would accept it, probably. I have an old blueprint in the entrance building that you could give him,” Squid said, and motioned for me to follow. We both walked over to the fancy building with the large paintings, and I followed him into a room cluttered with a bunch of papers and blueprints.

“What are all these things for?” I asked, looking through the different papers stuffed into drawers and such. _This one just has unintelligible writing on it._

“Most of them are from the war… and the rest are my ideas and old structures. Some of these have been discarded. Oh, here’s one!” Squid explained, and pulled out a small blueprint and handed it to me. It showed the summoned minion, how much potatoes it can farm per hour, day, or week, how much it can walk from the summoned point, and a lot more details about the minion.

[“Minion Blueprints” have been added to your inventory. **6/10** spots left]

“Thanks, man! I hope your greenhouse situation gets fixed,” I thanked Squid, and he led me back to the docks to an average boat. 

Squid, who had pretty good boating skills, got me back to the mainland around what I assumed to be noon. _Well, time to find Technoblade._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Cameos:
> 
> Swaggersouls- TCE doing voice impressions of him is a reference to their fundraiser back in February. 


	11. Wait, Where am I?

_Well, what did Technoblade say I needed to do to find him?_ I waved bye to Squid, and stood at the docks thinking for a moment. _Oh, yeah! I need to talk to Jschlatt, right? FUCK! Where am I going to find him?!_

“Maybe I should ask people if they know that dude,” I thought outloud, and walked back into Second Town. I saw the long line for CRAM and the big building “THE” also had people going inside. I also noticed a familiar hooded figure walk into the building. _Hey! Is that Schlatt?!_

I ran over to the crowd of people, trying to get my way through to the other side. Many of the people in the crowd were pushing and shoving, trying to get to the top of the line for whatever this building featured. 

“Hey, hey! Get back! Only people with reservations can get through!” a bunch of security looking guards started pushing people from the entrance and blocking it off. I managed to slip past them, and got into the inside of “THE”.

“Hey, Schlatt!” I exclaimed, jogging over to the hooded figure that was walking towards a table. 

“Oh, the other kid! Came to repay my debt yet?” Schlatt asked, and continued walking the same pace towards a table. _Why is he walking?_

“Oh! Uh, no. Technoblade told me you could help me find him,” I replied. _How would Schlatt know where Technoblade is, anyways?_

“Oh, Technoblade,” Schlatt said, and sat down at a table facing a stage. I grabbed a chair and brought it over to the table. _Is he just stalling?_

“So… where do you think he would be?” I asked, and Schlatt shrugged. 

“Probably at his floating islands, or maybe another tournament,” he answered. _So, he doesn’t know! Why would Techno tell me to talk to Schlatt?!_

“Ok, then, where the fuck would his island be?!” I asked, annoyed. 

“Do you not have a map? You really are a kid!” Schlatt exclaimed. _What’s that supposed to imply?!_

“Just give me directions! I could use directions! Like left and right and shit!” I said, annoyed. 

“God, so impatient! You just have to go right- no wait, that’s the ocean. Go left from the entrance of Second Town, and you’ll eventually see his islands,” Schlatt said, and he looked over to the stage as the lights in the building dimmed. _Left. Ok, I got that._

I left Schlatt alone at the table and started to leave the building, before looking back and seeing the stage be lit up. _Huh. Well, I don’t have any time to waste! Technoblade training is awaiting!_

I got noticed by a bouncer guy when I was trying to leave, and was almost forcefully thrown out. _Jesus! What the fuck is wrong with that dude?!_

I headed to the entrance of Second Town, and looked to the right. _Yep, the ocean is definitely that way._ I turned to the right and started my trek to Technoblade’s floating islands. 

The further I got away from town, the more trees and foliage appeared. _Walking alone… in a forest… a perfect horror scenario! I mean, there could be scary fucking monsters in this world. There’s probably no limit to monsters in this world… damn._

“It’s the middle of the day, there’s no horror monsters here! They usually appear at night!” I reassured myself, and continued going right. _Or would it still be right if I’m going straight? Am I still going right from the entrance to the Second Town? Where am I?!_

I stopped and looked around for any sign of landmarks, then looked up for any sign of the floating islands. _NOTHING!! I’m just now lost in a forest! Maybe I could use the sun to find the islands, like those nature guys on TV._

I looked up at the sun, then had no idea what to do next. _Shit._

I suddenly heard horse hooves that seemed far away, but was moving closer. _A horse! That probably means someone can help me not be lost!_

“Hey! Hello! Do you know where this is?” I shouted in the direction of the horse and its rider, trying to get them to notice me. The horse suddenly burst through a bush with its rider on top. _Hey!! Technoblade!_

“Bruhhhhh. How’d you get lost? Didn’t Schlatt tell you-”

“He told me to go FUCKING LEFT!! What kind of fucking instructions are that?! What the fu-”

“Look, Tommy, it’s fine now. I’m practically a human GPS.”

“You’re a pig!”

“Details don’t matter. Here, I brought an extra horse for you,” Technoblade said, and proceeded to basically make a horse appear out of thin air. _Does everyone just share a knowledge of summoning magic or some shit?!_

I looked at the horse, and slowly got on top of it. _Wait. I’ve never rode a horse before._

“Hey, uh, I don’t know how to ride a horse,” I told the Blade, who sighed. 

“Just grab the reins, and pull on them to get the horse to stop. It should just follow my horse, so just try to hang on,” Techno explained, and his horse started to run away, and my horse was right behind it. I clutched on the reins for dear life as the scenery just started to blend together. 

After a couple of minutes, Techno stopped his horse and I followed, grabbing on the reins. I almost fell off the horse when it stopped, then tried getting off the saddle and ended up falling on my face. 

[New Skill Gained! Horse Riding- Level **1** ]

_Yippee._ The Blade watched as I got up from the ground, and dusted dirt off my face. I looked around the place he had stopped for any sign of transportation or housing.

“So, where’s your floating islands?”

“Up there,” Techno responded, and pointed at the sky. I looked up and saw the point of what I assumed was an island. “Most people can’t see it from below, which is pretty cool.”

“I can see it. How do we get up, then?” I asked. “Can you fly as well?”

“Nope. Let’s see…” Techno seemed to be scrolling through something, then pulled out two crystals and a button. “Tommy, here. Hold this crystal.”

He handed me the crystal, then pressed the button. My body slowly disappeared and reappeared on top of an island. 

“Don’t fall off!” Techno warned, and I gave him back the crystal. _Yeah, people could definitely die from this height._

The island we teleported to seemed to have a bridge to another, bigger island which had more bridges going off it. _Oh my god, this place is huge!_

“This is pretty cool. How’d you manage to afford this?” I asked as we walked along the bridge to the main island, which had a pretty big building.

“I won a big event against Dream sponsored by a pretty rich guy, and bought these islands afterwards,” Techno said, motioning to the islands. _He fought Dream and won? That’s pretty cool._

“So… where are you going to train me?” I asked, and Techno stopped and looked up. I glanced to see what he was looking at. _Eh?? Who’s that?!_

“Oh, hey Techno! Who’s this?” A man flew down from the sky, and was wearing a green and white striped hat, a black robe thing, a green shirt and pants, blond hair, and giant grey wings attached to his back. _WINGS?!_

“Are you a beastman?” I asked, looking at this dude’s wings.

“Haha, no! These wings are my own creation. So, who’s this?” the winged man said, and turned to Techno.

“This is Tommy. Oh, right! Don’t you need to give me something to complete the quest?” Techno introduced then turned to me. I opened up my inventory and took out the blue prints, and handed them over to Technoblade. 

[Quest Completed!]

“So, what’s your name?” I questioned the flying man as Techno looked at the blueprints.

“Philza, but you can call me Phil. Nice to meet you Tommy,” Phil said, and shook my hand. _Seems like a nice guy._

“Yeah, same,” I replied, and then Phil jumped off the island and flew to one of the other many floating islands. 

“Ok, Tommy. So, what are your stats right now?” Techno asked, and I told him. 

“Level 0 for Charis-”

He laughed.

“Yeah, yeah, I know, dickhead!”

“Why don’t we do speed? That’s important for running away!” Techno suggested. 

“I’m not a wimp! I face things head-on!” I rebutted, and he shrugged.

“What about strength, then? I have some stuff that you could use for that,” Techno suggested, and I nodded. 

“Sure, I guess,” I agreed, and followed him to a sort of court that was most likely a place to fight someone else. _How would I train for strength here? Wait, do I have to fight him?!_

“Alright, lemme summon a monster for you to fight,” he stated, and walked me over to the right side of the court. I put on my dirty armor and sword as the Blade scrolled through something. _So… he’s going to summon a monster for me to fight. Okay, I can take down whatever it is. Unless he’s trying to kill me._

“Fight!” Techno said, and an enlarged hog appeared at the other end of the arena. Techno stepped out of it, and the hog charged at me. _Oh! It’s kinda like the rhino!_

I moved to the side and the pig, but instead of going straight, turned to my direction instead. I held up my sword and tried slicing it in half, but it only left a shallow scratch in the hide. 

“Keep trying to slice its hide! It’ll help with leveling up your strength!” Techno called from the side, distracting the hog for a split second which gave me a chance to get behind it. _This’ll probably confuse it! Haha, I’m a fucking genius!!!!_

I hit the pig again with the sword, trying to aim in the same spot I had sliced last time. Suddenly, it kicked out from behind hitting me in the chest. I cursed and got back onto my feet, looking the hog in its eyes. 

“Die!!!!” I yelled and ran for the hog, aiming my sword strike at its face. Before I could strike it, the monster disappeared from my view and Techno walked back into the arena. 

“You fool, you weren’t supposed to aim to kill it! Hoglin’s hides are the best for leveling up strength, you just hit the same thing twice and it makes strength training soooo much easier! Here, let’s try that again.”

Techno and I spent the next few hours leveling up my strength to level 5, practicing with Phil got my speed to level 2, and overall my profile leveled up to level 3, unlocking two more inventory slots. 

“Bye, thanks for the training,” I waved bye after Techno had taken me back to Second Town. _I got a big upgrade in strength now, I'm level 5!_

“Bye nerd,” Techno commented, dragging the ‘d’ then rode off with his horse. _Hmm…. What should I do now?_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Cameos:
> 
> Philza: He’s on Techno’s sky island.
> 
> MrBeast: He's the one that gave Techno the money to buy his sky island.
> 
> THE: I forgot to mention this earlier but 'THE' is a reference to the theater on SMPLIVE.  
> 
> 
> MrBeast: He’s the one that gave Techno the money to buy his sky island.
> 
> THE: I forgot to mention this earlier but ‘THE’ is a reference to the theater on SMPLIVE, I was originally going to make a chapter where Tommy helps Carson hold the fantasy world equivalent to ‘the stream’ but then decided not to since Lunch Club is kinda over.


	12. Halloween Special

I woke up and started every day the exact same way as I usually did since coming to this fantasy world, with the absurd goal of defeating the demon king.

The strange thing was, I had this weird feeling the whole time throughout my morning routine.

Maybe I was getting sick? I probably shouldn't have eaten those potatoes I grabbed from Squid Kid's farm, there's no way that potatoes produced in such large quantities would be healthy. Or maybe it was seasickness from the boat? Next time I should do a better job at treating my wounds after the tournament, getting medical help from Schlatt was definitely not one of my brightest moments. Or perhaps it was-

Damn, I really should be more careful.

As I finished eating my potato soup- which I obtained from Squid Kid's island by totally legal means, and made my way out of the inn. I still had that weird feeling, like I was forgetting something.

The entire day was dedicated to training using the techniques Techno taught me. They didn't seem very effective though, I'll probably need at least 1,000 years before I will be able to defeat him.

After finishing up for the day I walked over to the town square, only to be greeted with a sight I wouldn't have expected in a fantasy world.

There were Halloween decorations everywhere.

How the hell did I not notice this earlier? Did they use some kind of magic to get this all set up? Yeah, I wouldn't be surprised, after meeting that gor-whatever and the other wackos in this world.

-

[Quest Accepted!]

Max Limit for quests reached **2/2**

Quest- Trick or Treat

Clear Conditions- Trick or treat at at least five different residences

Difficulty- **E**

Time Limit- 12 hours

Compensation- ???

Failure- Wrath from ◼️◼️◼️ ki◼️◼️ s◼️◼️

-

What the FUCK. When did I accept this quest? And why is half of the failure censored? Wrath from who?

All this wrath business just because I don't trick or treat? Sheesh.

It took me a second, but I finally noticed that the adventurer clothing I received when I first arrived had turned into some sort of costume, a ....ghost?

Well it was a really half-assed ghost. I'm convinced that the system isn't even trying to hide its hate for me. I guess being too loveable is a sin, or maybe this system just gets jealous easily. Does the system have feelings?

Since it was already evening, I chose to start so that I would have plenty of time when everything inevitably goes wrong.

I decided to trick or treat a little farther out of town since it was less crowded there. Also, since most of the small children were closer to the town square and hadn't started trick or treating yet, I could get a head start and score more candy.

The first house I stopped at looked like some kind of tree house, as in a hollowed out tree. I knocked on the trunk and waited.

"Who is it?"

Did they know how trick or treating worked? Am I too early? The owner of the house kept the door shut.

"You can't come in"

I didn't even say anything! I let out a slightly irritated 'Trick or Treat' that was followed by a brief silence.

"We haves cookie!"

The door opened to reveal the shiba half-beastman from earlier, with a tray of cookies in his arms.

As I took a cookie from the tray he started to talk again.

"Sorry, we thought you were the tax people."

Tax people? I'm not going to ask.

I looked inside to see a man hovering by the door behind the beastman, he seemed to be dripping with some kind of green goo? A slime half-beastman perhaps? I am so smart! But how would that work-

The shiba man smiled at me before giggling.

"Happy Halloween!"

I also wished them a happy halloween before putting the cookie in my inventory.

[4 houses remaining]

Ah. This was going to be easy. With a slight bounce in my step I made my way to the night house, which looked like your average cottage.

I knocked on the door, only to be met with a familiar face.

That green hood, those black eyes piercing into my soul...

"Dream? You look a lot shorter than before!"

I was being serious, his height made it seem like he was fourteen years old at most.

He chuckled.

Wow, he even sounded like a fourteen year old!

"I'm not Dream, I'm just a fan."

"Oh, that makes sense. You got the soul piercing eyes down though."

It seems as though we had gotten a little off topic, I remembered why I was there in the first place.

"Trick or treat!"

The Dream fanatic turned away for a second and grabbed a bowl of candy, grabbing a handful for me.

Upon closer inspection the candy wrappers were all green and white with smiley faces on them. How did they do that? Why are there even candy wrappers here?

[3 houses remaining]

I waved goodbye and left while pondering this very important issue, as I followed the path I noticed that my surroundings were familiar.

_Isn't this the direction of Techno's sky island?_

And sure enough, it was.

I looked up and saw the sky island far above me. Shit. How was I supposed to get candy from here? Well, might as well just skip-

And then I stepped on something, a pressure plate maybe? I might have passed out as well, but I don't remember.

[2 houses remaining]

When I opened my eyes again, I was back at the town square with a singular piece of candy in my hands.

Did he see me? I unwrapped the candy and saw a message written on the inside of the wrapper.

_"Subscribe to Technoblade_. _also happy halloween."_

It seemed a lot like Techno to self advertise any chance he got, but why didn't he just hand out candy like a normal person instead of teleporting me all the way back? Does he hate human interaction that much?

I popped the candy in my mouth, and looked around.

It was darker than earlier, with people of all ages dressed up. Maybe. Some people's costumes looked really realistic, with goo dripping from their bodies and really realistic fur.

Oh yeah, this is a fantasy world. I had almost forgotten that I wasn't on Earth anymore, but it wasn't the right time to dwell on such thoughts as I heard a faint whisper-I probably wouldn't have been able to hear it if I didn't have my enhanced senses.

I looked behind me to see a familiar hooded figure, beckoning me over.

Of course I couldn't ignore my friend Schlatt, who had always had my back.

"Here kid, happy halloween."

He handed a fistful of candy to me, which I gladly took. Remembering the armor incident back at the arena I decided to not eat it, but it was helpful for completing my quest.

[1 house remaining]

"You owe me one."

Of course he was aiming for something. Well, it's not like I don't already owe him. He's impressive in that way, killing two birds with one stone. I mean that in a straight way.

With one more house left, knowing that it didn't even have to be a house and I just needed to receive candy, I leisurely strolled around town.

There were a lot of Dream and Techno costumes. And they weren't even the same design every time as well! Some were in maid outfits, others looked way more badass than they actually were...

I walked faster as I was getting a headache, wishing to return back to the inn as soon as possible.

I reached a house farther out of town and decided I was safe from the stans. There were a lot of voices coming from the house, a halloween party I assume, so I knocked and hoped that it was heard over all the noise inside.

I patiently waited for at least 10 seconds, and then when I was turning to leave the door opened.

_Shit. It had to be a woman._

A woman dressed up as some kind of slime beastman, I could tell because the slime was a major downgrade from the slime beastman I saw earlier, stood at the door holding a jar of candy.

"Cute costume! Sorry it took so long, it was hard to hear over all the noise."

She was slightly fidgeting, as if she was itching to get back to the party.

I opened my mouth to speak, but was greeted by a message.

[Your charisma level is too low to speak to the opposite sex]

No matter how hard I tried I couldn't get the words out, I don't know how long I attempted to talk it didn't work.

I settled for just nodding my head and smiling after a few failed tries.

[You have completed the quest!]

[Return to a empty location to receive the prize]

My costume turned back into my clothes, thank fuck. Cursing the stupid level system, I made my way back to the inn.

Collapsing on top of my bed, I sighed and looked up to see another notification.

[Received one limited edition Halloween Sticker!]

What. The. Fuck.

All this for a _stupid fucking sticker?_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Cameos:
> 
> Traves & Slimecicle: they're the we haves cookies guys
> 
> random stan- the dream stan ;)
> 
> Sylvee- the woman in the last house
> 
> happy halloween :)


	13. The Buisness Man

_ Oh, don’t I owe something to that Schlatt character for giving me the chance to talk to Technoblade? He made me sign a contract as well… since I’m not doing anything, I could probably get that over with!  _

I walked to the “THE” building, hoping to see if Schlatt was still around.  _ It’s been a few hours since I left Schlatt. What’s the chance that he’s still there? A small chance... _

“Well, shit,” I remarked as I looked at the sign that read  _ Closed. Well, now where should I look? I have no idea…  _

I started to stroll through Second Town, enjoying the sights while keeping a lookout for a cloaked figure with ram horns.  _ I could just sit down somewhere and look for him. I mean, training was a little exhausting.  _

I made my way over to a bench and practically collapsed on it.  _ Now that I think of it, I’ve never felt tired enough to sleep in this world. How long have I been here without falling asleep? It had to have been a couple of days… right? Probably anything goes in this world. _

_ Hey, hold on! Is that- _

“Oh, hey kid,” Schlatt said, coming over to me sitting on the bench. “What are you doing? Did you lose a bet or something?”

“No! I was looking for you, to get the debt over with!” I exclaimed, and stood up. 

“You don’t have anything else to do? No women to woo?”

“I can’t talk to women!” 

“That’s sad, Tommy. You should look into the businessman business! I myself am an accomplished businessman. I could probably show you around to get connected,” Schlatt said, looking at me.  _ I mean, being a businessman could be better than owning a favor to him. _

“Sure, why not?” I replied, and Schlatt started to walk away, motioning me to follow. 

“Well, to start, Second Town is the best town to get jobs and quests. First Town has more new adventurers, who are easier to sca- to sell to,” Schlatt said.  _ Was he going to say scam?  _

“So, how’d you get to be a businessman?” I asked Schlatt, who chuckled.

“Well, I was a part of a big group called Lunch Club. Most of us are retired now though, and own shops and companies around Second Town,” Schlatt explained, “For example how I own Schlatt Co.”

“So, what do your friends own here?” I asked, looking at the nearby buildings and shops. 

“Ted owns the CRAM shop, which is a great product. Carson and Charlie both have jobs as entertainers at THE… That’s all for the business part,” Schlatt answered, glancing at the closed CRAM shop as we passed it. 

We walked in silence, then stopped to look at the crowd of people trying to get into “THE”. I noticed someone who was walking in only had dog ears like a shiba inu, which was weird.  _ Is that person a beastman?  _

“Hey, Schlatt, does that dude count as a beastman? I mean, he only has ears,” I asked Schlatt, who seemed to be a beastmen himself.

“Nah, he’s half beastman. Those kinds of beastmen only have some qualities of an animal, instead of all of them like full beastmen.”

“So, are you a half-beastman or a full beastman?”

“I’m a businessman.”

I tried to get a clearer answer from Schlatt, but to no avail. He would just insist that he’s a businessman, and eventually we moved on from the topic of whether Schlatt was a full or half beastmen.

“So, what does Schlatt & Co do?” I asked.  _ What “business” tactics does he use? _

“Business,” Schlatt answered, once again not giving a clear answer to my questions. 

“Seriously?! What the fuck, man!” I replied, annoyed with Schlatt’s stubbornness. 

“What? You want to be a businessman, right?”

“Only if it helps me beat the Demon King!” I exclaimed, and some people nearby glanced at us.  _ Eh?  _ Schlatt led me into a space between two buildings, and then looked at me.

“Kid, are you fucking dumb? You don’t just mention you want to beat the Demon King in public. Someone nearby could be a spy, then you’ll be dead by morning! If you’re not protected by a group or guild, you’ll be easy picking,” Schlatt said in a hushed voice, and glanced at the outside of the alley, “If you’re alone you’ll probably be in trouble. I mean, you’re a new adventurer!”

“What the fuck?!?! How was I supposed to know?!” I whisper-shouted, and Schlatt sighed. 

“Well, we probably can’t stay here in Second Town. We should go before the situation gets worse,” Schlatt stated, and walked calmly out of the alleyway with me.  _ Why does it seem like this dude is never in a hurry?  _

“Hey, isn’t it going to be night time soon? Shouldn’t we avoid going into the dark forest, and wait until morning?” I suggested, remembering the last time I went walking in a forest, where I almost died to a spider bite. 

“No kid, it’s fine. You’re with me!” Schlatt reassured me as we walked out of a different exitway, which seemed to be at the back of Second Town onto a less noticeable path.  _ Unless this business man has some kind of superhuman magic, I doubt we’ll be fine… _

“So, uh… Ty works for you?” I asked, trying to start up a conversation while glancing up at the darkening sky. 

“He used to. I fired him earlier today.”

“What?! Why?”

“He asked for a different pay method than exposure,” Schlatt answered, and also glanced up at the sky. “Kid, you have a light source, right?”

“Uh… no. I thought you would have fucking brought one!” I exclaimed, and quickened my pace as I tried to make the journey to wherever Schlatt was going quicker. 

“Why are you rushing?” Schlatt asked, walking at a leisurely pace behind me.  _ Why is he still walking?! _

“Well, if we don’t have a light source, we can’t see! So we should hurry!” I argued, and Schlatt shrugged. 

“Look, we’ll probably meet someone with light before it turns night. Then we’ll just use theirs!” Schlatt proposed, and continued walking at a slow pace.  _ Didn’t Ty say most people travel at day? There’s a very slim chance we’re actually going to see another fucking person. _

“What if something attacks us?” I asked, noticing that the path was getting darker.  _ We would definitely die.  _

“You have a sword, don’t you? I should be fine,” Schlatt stated, and we walked in silence before I realized he used the word “I”.  _ What the fuck, man?! _

“Hey, Schlatt, you can still see right?” I asked, and rubbed my eyes. I didn’t notice I was squinting until I turned to look at the ram man.  _ Shit, it’s almost night time.  _

“Yes. You should avoid stepping on that goop,” Schlatt said, and I looked down and barely avoided what looked like a pile of slime on the ground.  _ Where is that from?!  _

“I told you we’re going to be attacked!” I exclaimed, glancing from side to side, expecting a monster to pop out of the trees.

“There’s a fire over there, kid. We’re going to be fine,” Schlatt said, and pointed in a direction into the forest.  _ There’s nothing there! Is he delusional? _

“I don’t see-WATCHOUT,” I yelled as I turned around and saw some kind of furry beast hunched over behind us. I quickly equipped my sword and armor, and tried to examine the beast as best as I could with quickly fading sunlight. 

“Oh, would you look at that,” Schlatt commented as the beast loomed over both of us, with a giant mouth that seemed to be in the middle of the chest, no visible eyes, two long hairy arms with three claws, and some goat looking ears on the top of the body, which looked like a very long rectangle. I looked at the legs, then came up with a great conclusion:  _ We could just run away from this monster!  _

“Hey, Schlatt, we could run away from this guy and just hide in the trees,” I suggested, turning back to Schlatt. 

“No.”

I stared at Schlatt as he walked away from the monster, at a pace which the monster could easily catch up to.  _ Why is he still WALKING?! _

I ran over in front of Schlatt, with the beast walking slowly behind, trying to reach out with its arms. It tried grabbing me, so I slashed my sword against its claws, causing it to spit in my face. _ Fuck, this is disgusting! _

“Kid, the tongue!” Schlatt warned as the mouth opened again, and a sort of tongue came out that looked like it could pierce right through me. I jumped out of the way, causing Schlatt to also run to the side to avoid the tongue.

“What should I aim for?!” I asked Schlatt desperately while avoiding the creature’s tongue, and trying to stab it. 

“Anywhere! Just kill it!” Schlatt exclaimed, and I tried stabbing the sword into the tongue, causing a squishing sound. I yanked out the sword, which had left a scar in the tongue. 

The monster stomped on the ground, but at most a little irritated by the scar.  _ That didn’t seem to do much damage… Maybe I should try injuring the arms? _

“You aren’t doing anything!” I shouted at Schlatt while avoiding an onslaught of the monster’s claws reaching for me. 

“You’re doing fine!” Schlatt said back, walking away from me battling the furry monster.  _ What the fuck man?! _

My eyesight was deteriorating as everything was turning darker, making it harder to see the monster’s attacks.  _ Shit!  _ I barely avoided the disgusting tongue, which injured some of my armor. Schlatt was standing there, sometimes yelling out ways to dodge but otherwise just watching the fight.  _ What kind of fucking monster is this?!? _

I noticed something that moved on the side, and turned to it.  _ FUCK!!!!  _ Looking at the thing in the trees had caused the fucking hairy beast to grab me with the claws, poking my sides. My sword fell from my grip, leaving me defenseless. 

Suddenly, a noise from the trees caused the monster to turn. There was someone standing next to a carriage, holding something in their hand.

“Hey, lover boy! Just the man I wanted to see!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> NOTE- this was written before the halloween special, but takes place after it
> 
> Cameos:
> 
> Lunch Club: Since lunch club is kinda over they’re here as retired adventurers that have branched off to their own things. Ted with Cram, Carson and Charlie are comedians and Travis, schlatt runs schlatt & co, Travis, Cooper and Noah are unnamed, but Travis is the half-beastman with shiba ears


	14. Lover Boy

“Who’s that?!” I asked, the monster and I both distracted by this “lover boy” character who had some sort of supply carriage that he stood next to. 

“A friend,” Schlatt answered, and his friend shot the monster’s arm with a crossbow, causing it to drop me on the ground.  _ OW! _

The furry rectangle let out a roar, and started to grab for the lover boy. In an instant, he loaded the crossbow again and shot the monster. It fell over slowly, then proceeded to disappear.  _ How did he do that with two shots?!  _

“Wait, why do I get no xp from that?” I asked, surprised while grabbing my sword from the ground. 

“Whoever gets the final blow gets the rewards,” the guy explained, and I got to have a better look at him.  _ Wait, so everything I did was for nothing?! Seriously?! _

He had brown hair, a black jacket, white shirt, black pants, a pouch, and a quiver hanging on his back. 

“Hi, my name’s Wilbur. Nice to meet you, I guess. Schlatt, who’s this?” Wilbur asked, turning to Schlatt walking over to us. 

“This ki-”

“Hi, I’m Tommy! Nice to meet you as well!” I introduced myself and shook Wilbur’s hand, interrupting Schlatt. 

“So, Tommy, what got you to travel with Schlatt?” 

“Well, I brought up the de-”

“He owes me for a favor, so I decided to use it for something in Third Town!” Schlatt said, interrupting my explanation.  _ Why did he do- ooohhhhh.  _

“Yeah! And then we got ambushed by whatever monster that was!” I agreed.  _ The monster probably has some extra-weird name, which I will most likely not remember!  _

“Oh, I’m also going to Third Town! I just stopped to set up a camp here, since traveling at night is dangerous, and heard you guys fighting,” Wilbur said. 

“What is the deal with you guys and going to a different town during the night?! First Ty and now Schlatt?! What the fuck mate?!” I exclaimed, angry.  _ Why do they feel the need to travel at a dangerous time of day? _

“Well, after you made that  _ statement _ , we had to leave soon,” Schlatt said ominously, and stepped into Wilbur’s cart. 

“So, I guess we’re traveling with you now?” I asked Wilbur, who shrugged and turned to Schlatt. After taking off my armor and putting it back in my inventory, I also hopped into the cart. 

The cart had various items lined up against the wall, which did not go with each other at all. There was a gravestone on top of a blue box for some kind of fish named Milo right next to a box labeled “Whale facts”.

_ Why would he have a box of whale facts? Is he some kind of whale rights enthusiast?  _ I was about to go look through the whale cards when Wilbur came in. 

“You have to pay for those, y’know!” He exclaimed, snatching the box away and putting it somewhere closer to him.  _ Pay… for information about whales? What is he on about?! _

“Sooo… what’s in that blue box?” I asked, pointing to the box under Milo’s grave. 

“I remember Milo! You got attached to that fish, and then it fucking died!” Schlatt stated, glancing at the grave. 

“Yeah, fuck off! That box is Milo’s ashes,” Wilbur explained, somehow still sounding sane while keeping a box with a dead fish’s ashes inside his carriage.  _ Why would he keep the ashes of a fucking fish?! _

“Lover boy, remember that time he was brought back from the dead and then fucking exploded? That was funny,” Schlatt laughed, and Wilbur looked mildly irritated by that comment.  _ They can bring a fish back to life?! Are there fucking necromancers here?! _

“So, uh, why do you have whale facts?” I asked, moving the conversation away from Wilbur’s fish that died twice.

“I used to sell them to people,” Wilbur said nonchalantly, and glanced outside into the darkness.

“Are they even real whale facts?!” I asked, seeing the top of one of the cards in the fact box.  _ How the fuck would he know *that* thing about sperm whales?! _

“Yeah! Look, I spent a very long time on my own sky island over the ocean, which, in fact, does have whales,” Wilbur rebutted, and started digging through a pile of costumes.

“So, uh, how do you guys know each other?” I asked.  _ Would Wilbur know what kind of beastman Schlatt is? _

“Well, I’m a businessman, so I’ve had contact with him before for business stuff, and then we spent a good amount of time together,” Schlatt stated.  _ That makes sense, since I can assume that Wilbur is indeed a merchant.  _

“Yes! Here it is,” Wilbur explained, pulling out a photo from the pile of costumes. He held it up for both Schlatt and I to see.

It was a painting of a very large island over a body of water, probably painted from a view of a boat. The front of the island was very colorful, with clouds painted behind it. 

“That doesn’t prove that the island was real. It’s a painting! You could paint whatever the fuck you want and say it’s real!” I exclaimed, and Wilbur put the painting back in a pile of costumes. “Why are you going to Third Town anyways?”

“Well, there’s a job opportunity that’s worth a lot of coins in Third Town. Besides being a merchant and musician, I’m also a part-time adventurer!” Wilbur explained, moving a suit to the side that reminded me of the suit that one Washington bloke wore. He took out a very nice looking guitar and was about to play it when-

***BOOM*.** A very loud sound came from outside.  _ A monster?  _ All three of us looked outside, and were met by rain.  _ Rain?! Where the fuck did this come from?! _

Another  **BOOM** arrived, followed by lightning illuminating up the sky.  _ Is lightning more deadly in this world?! Are we about to explode or something?! _

“So… do any, like, special monsters come out when it’s raining?” I asked, getting back inside the carriage.  _ I wouldn’t put it past this world to have like some kind of fucking lightning beast. _

“I… don’t think so, but rain does make non-permanent magic waste away easier,” Wilbur said, glancing at the rain pouring outside. “The carriage should be fine.”

“Eh… what are we going to do in Third Town anyways, Schlatt?” I asked, sitting back down. 

“Something,” he replied, shrugging.

“You could probably look for better equipment in Third Town. Aren’t you still wearing the starter armor and using the beginning sword?” Wilbur suggested, having to say it louder over the rain.  _ That would make me stronger! I wouldn’t have to rely on my own stats as much… if having armor in this world plays out like armor in a video game. _

“Yes, I haven’t really had that much time to relax, to be honest,” I agreed, thinking of how I went straight from entering Second Town to participating in a tournament.  _ Maybe I could explore Third Town more! Although some kind of fucking problem is going to come up there, isn’t there?  _

“Who’s going to pay for your armor?” Wilbur asked, looking between Schlatt and me. 

“I mean, it’s your armor kid. It would feel more genuine if you paid for it,” Schlatt stated, and Wilbur laughed.  _ Excuse me?! _

“Wouldn’t it be expensive?! I’m basically broke! I mean, you’re a fucking buisnsessman!” I exclaimed.  _ Wouldn’t a businessman have a lot of money? Isn’t that his job? _

“Yeah, but…” Schlatt said, obviously not wanting to spend his money on  _ me.  _

“You could maybe... strike a deal with whoever is selling armor,” Wilbur suggested, glancing back at the pouring rain outside. 

“You mean, sca-”

“Okay, that sounds great!” Schlatt said, interrupting me. “I am great at making deals! You know, they call me Mr. Business.”

“They call you a lot of names,” Wilbur stated, and another lightning strike illuminated the inside of the carriage.  _ Is that rain going to be a problem? _

“Do you have like, an umbrella to protect against the rain?” I asked. 

“I don’t need one! I’m wearing a hood,” Schlatt exclaimed, and Wilbur shook his head.

“I didn’t expect it to rain… It hasn’t rained here in a pretty long time,” Wilbur stated, “It gets cloudy, but it usually never rains.”

“Does it have a bad meaning or something?” I asked.  _ Like a black cat, maybe? _

“I don’t think so, it’s just unusual….”

“Like you ever getting together with a girl?!” Schlatt remarked, and started laughing. 

“Oh, shut up!” Wilbur said chuckling, crossing his arms.  _ Well, at least he can talk to women…  _

“Wait, what’s that?” I asked, pointing to a sort of barrier that we were going to crash into.  _ Is that barrier magical? It seems more… man-made, instead of omitting some kind of aura. _

“Oh, we’re here!” Wilbur said, and all of us watched as we entered into the barrier, and instead of crashing into it we just went through it.

[No Monsters Detected: Hope you have an exciting visit here in Third Town!]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Cameos: 
> 
> Wilbur Soot: he’s a merchant so he’s acquainted with Schlatt, there was a summer where he decided to live on a floating island above the ocean and befriended a certain fish, he had a great view of the whales and now sells whale facts as well as a variety of items. 


	15. Who would have guessed? Another goddamn quest.

“So, uh… where should we go now?”

Wilbur had left us to go find the job opportunity, and now Schlatt and I were standing inside the shelter of a shop to avoid the rain. 

“Well, we could start by looking for business opportunities about getting you some new armor, right?” Schlatt said, looking out at the rain. _Define “business opportunities”, Schlatt._

“Well, what the fuck are we supposed to do?! There’s like no one outside!” I exclaimed, motioning to the empty streets.

“Well, it is quite early in the morning,” Schlatt remarked, checking his arm as if to look at an non-existent watch. 

“So what? We just wait here until more people have job opportunities?” I said, sitting down on a chair. “Wait, couldn’t we use a job board?”

“Those are scams! There’s no guarantee those people will actually pay you,” Schlatt stated, then laughed. “Yep, you can get roped into doing something and not get anything in return.”

“Wouldn’t there be laws against it?” I asked, thinking of how Pokay and James made a quest on the spot and had a very fucking bad prize, complete with death as a failure.

“Well, no. You could write whatever you fucking want on a quest paper, but it only binds to you if you sign it or accept it,” Schlatt explained. _Huh. Contracts must be pretty important._

“Wait… so, hypothetically, if you had arrived here with a quest already assigned to you, would that mean I- I mean you, couldn’t back out of it?” I asked nonchalantly, and Schlatt though for a second.

“No, unless you get contact with whoever made the quest, or you reach the maximum time limit. Are you saying this because-”

“Nah, just asking for a friend,” I replied, fully aware that the quest to kill the demon king had ??? as a time limit. _FUCK! What the hell does that mean?! Is it an infinite time limit? Or could it end any second?!_

“Is there anyone here?” Schlatt commented, looking around. _Is this just an empty building?_

“Oh, fu- Hi!” a voice came from behind somewhere, and Schlatt and I turned around to see a blue skinned person come out from behind a shelf. _Wait-where’s his other eye?!_

The guy seemed to be a fucking cyclops with blue skin, wearing a dark blue tunic and brown pants. 

“Wait… it’s you!” the cyclops exclaimed, looking at Schlatt. “You’re that dude who tried to buy our build!”

“Look, it would’ve been a great deal,” Schlatt replied.

“No, no no no no -it definitely would not. I’d like to stay and chat, but Altrive and I gotta go,” the cyclops said, and started to walk past us. _I’m going to regret this but-_

“Hey, hey! Would you guys like help? I know I’m great at completing quests, and we fucking need to do one right now,” I asked, blocking the cyclops from exiting. Another figure who was not a cyclops walked from out behind the shelf, wearing an outfit similar to the blue man, but in shades of green instead.

“We’re fin-”

“An extra hand would be nice!” the new figure said, and shook my hand. “Hello, I’m Altrive! The blue man is Ryan.”

“Nice to meet you, Altrive. I’m Tommy!” I introduced myself. The guy called Ryan sighed, and stood still while looking at us. 

“So, what are you guys doing?” Schlatt asked, coming over to us. 

“Still working on Fallen Kingdom that you tried to sabotage,” Ryan stated, crossing his arms. _Schlatt tried to sabotage their build?! God damnit._

“Trying to buy the rights to the land in order to build a Costco is not sabotaging,” Schlatt stated. _He wanted to build a WHAT?!_

“Whatever, man. So you want to help, right? I guess you could go gather more materials… Here, lemme make a quest,” Ryan said, and took out a piece of paper and a pencil. He wrote some stuff on it, and then handed the quest to me.“Here, you can check it out before you accept it.”

“Wait, really?” I stared disbelievingly at the paper in my hands, and looked at it. 

  
  


-

Quest- Gather Materials 

Clear Conditions: is the title not fucking clear enough (get a stack of wood from the forest, maybe some stone bricks from a nearby mine aswell)

Difficulty: **D**

Time Limit: 2 Days

Compensation: 5-20 Gold Coins (depending on how much you bring back)

Failure: You wasted your time (what an idiot)

-

  
  


“Only up to 20 gold coins? Really? Do you know how much pain we’ll have to go through to get those materials?” Schlatt commented, looking over my shoulder. _Aren’t gold coins worth a lot? What is he complaining about?!_

“What else do you want, us to take you out to dinner?!” Ryan exclaimed, most likely since he also knew the value of gold coins.

“What a great idea!” Schlatt said, and handed the quest paper back to him. Ryan added the addition of taking us out for dinner begrudgingly, and handed the paper back to us. Schlatt and I signed our names on it, which made the Quest Accepted screen pop up.

“So, I guess we’ll see you guys in two days,” Altrive said, and him and Ryan walked out into the rain. _We got a quest!!! Yeah, let’s fucking go!_

“Do you have an axe? Or some kind of tool?” Schlatt asked, and I shook my head. “Hm… that may be a problem.”

“Do YOU have an axe?” I asked, crossing my arms. 

“Yes,” Schlatt replied without missing a beat, a large axe dropped in front of him. 

“WHAT THE FUCK?” I exclaimed, looking at the axe on the floor, the sharp part was made out of some kind of weird purple metal. “WHERE DID THE FUCK DID YOU GET THAT FROM?!”

“A friend gave it to me as a present. Well, now we can go get some wood,” Schlatt said, and headed outside into the rain. _I hope wet wood is good enough for this quest._

Schlatt picked up the axe and held the door open for me, and we both walked back out into the rain. _Damn, I’m going to get all wet._

We passed Third Town’s boundary and headed out into the nearby forest, which was very muddy courtesy of the rain. I watched as Schlatt used the axe to cut down a slim tree, and then handed the wood and the axe to me. 

“Wait, shouldn’t yo-”

“I’m tired, I just chopped down a tree,” Schlatt commented, and sat down on the stump. _Are you fucking kidding me?! Of course Schlatt would do nothing, what did I expect?_

“Uhh… how much wood do you think would count as a stack?” I asked Schlatt, while using the axe to eliminate the trees. 

“Probably about….hmm, maybe a hundred trees?” Schlatt suggested.

“That’s going to get rid of a whole fucking section of this forest if I cut a hundred trees! Is deforestation not a problem here?” I asked, and another tree fell down to this strange axe. 

“What do you mean, ‘here?’” Schlatt asked, looking suspiciously at me. _Shit!_

“Uh, like near Third Town! They probably have different policies on deforestation!” I replied in a totally normal voice. Another swing of the axe cut clean through a tree, and it felt very satisfying.

[Level up in Strength- Level 6!]

[New Skill Unlocked- Deforestation Skill (Level 2)]

_I’m just going to ignore that skill.._

“Alright,” Schlatt said, and went back to watching me cut down trees. _HAHAHA I can’t believe I got away with that! I still haven’t told anyone that I’m from another fucking dimension… They probably wouldn’t believe me anyways, I'm fine!_

After what seemed like an awkward hour, I had the remains of thirty trees in my inventory, wet clothes, and muddy boots. Schlatt had sat on a stump, doing absolutely no manual labor whatsoever.

“I think that’s enough wood for that quest,” I said, exhausted. My stamina was only level two, which only meant disaster for completing labor tasks. I sat down on the stump, stretching.

“Next, we have to get stone bricks, according to their quest,” Schlatt stated, and got off the tree stump, “We should probably leave before one of those nature-loving monsters come and attack us for destroying these trees.”

“Why the fuck are there nature-loving monsters?! How many species can a monster qualify as?!” I exclaimed, also getting off the stump quickly. Schlatt shrugged and started to walk forwards.

“We can get stone bricks from a mine somewhere over there,” Schlatt stated, pointing, “We just have to get out of this forest.”

“Is the mine abandoned?” I asked. _If so, we have less of a chance getting roped into another fucking quest._

“No, why? You think we could just dig into a mountain side without consequences?” Schlatt stated. _….Yes? If deforestation isn’t a problem, I don’t see why not._

“Do you have a pickaxe that we could use?” I asked, expecting Schlatt to have another tool just handy. 

“Nope, that’s why we’re traveling to a mine where people are,” Schlatt answered, and kicked a piece of mud off his shoes. 

“Do you have any sense of direction to where this mine could b-”

“Oh.” 

Schlatt chuckled as a cart came into view with the words “Roughhouse Mine” painted on the cart and a familiar face sitting on it. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> cameos:
> 
> Krinios (Ryan) and Altrive: they are building Fallen Kingdom and need materials, they are very rich as you can see.


	16. Gathering Quests SUCK

“Hey, what are you guys doing here?” 

James was sitting on the top of the cart, wearing a hood over his face.  _ What is he doing here? _

“We’re on a supply quest for stone bricks,” Schlatt answered.  _ Would this guy know where to get stone bricks?  _

“Do you guys need help getting stone bricks? I mean, I could take you guys to our mine,” James asked, looking at Schlatt and me standing on the muddy ground. 

“Yeah, I’m tired of this fucking mud,” I commented, and James helped Schlatt and me onto the cart. “Why does the cart say ‘Roughhouse’ mine? Isn’t your group named Team Chunk Error, or did you join another group?”

“We changed the name. Roughhouse is a way cooler name than  _ Team Chunk Error _ ,” James said, crossing his arms, “Why are you guys out in the rain anyways? Couldn’t you wait until after the rain stops to go get materials?”

“Uh…. nah! We have two days to complete the quest, it’s better to get a head start!” I replied, silently cursing at my past self’s decision to get materials in the rain. 

“Huh. Well, I haven’t seen rain in a while, and you are a little impulsive I guess.”

“I’m not fucking implusive! What are you talking about?!” I replied angrily.  _ I’m not impulsive at all!! I’m excellent at planning out things! _

“Yep, not impulsive at all. Anyways, do you have any interest in business?” Schlatt asked, changing the conversation. 

“No, not really. I’m a miner, not a businessman,” James replied, and shrugged. 

“Your loss,” Schlatt stated, and went back to looking at the rain.  _ Damn, I hate this fucking rain. I’m soaking wet! _

“So, James, how far away is the mine?” I asked, while trying to use my arms to block the rain.  _ We better be close before I catch hypothermia.  _

“Uhhh…. I think I see it over there,” James stated, and pointed to the mountainside that wasn't that far away. 

“Great!” I exclaimed, and after a few minutes we arrived at the mine. I got down from the cart, and started to run inside the entrance. 

“Hey, Tommy, watch-” Schlatt grabbed the back of my shirt, just before I could fall into a giant pit that lay on the other side of the door.  _ WHAT THE FUCK?!?! _

“Why the fuck do you have the entrance to a goddamn pit?!” I exclaimed, looking at the giant pit that went down really damn deep. 

“It’s one of our chunk errors. Be careful, you could easily die if you fall down there,” James commented, getting off the cart.  _ A what?! Chunk error?!  _

“Yeah, no shit,” I replied, crossing my arms. James motioned for us to follow him, and it seemed there was a staircase off to the side of the ginormous ‘chunk error’ that went down. 

“So.. is that how you guys mine?” I asked, glancing back at the chunk error. 

“Yeah,” James answered, and kept walking.  _ They just make a giant pit?! How the fuck is that useful? _

“James, you little b-! Wha- who the fuck brought a child here?!” Poke exclaimed, noticing Schlatt and I walking behind James.  _ Did you forget who I am already?! _

“They’re here to get stone bricks from the mine,” James answered, “They need it for some gathering quest.”

“Alright, I  _ guess  _ you can take them,” Poke said, and pointed down the tunnel. “The chests should be near Burren.”

“Thanks!” I said, and walked down the passageway, observing the many wooden support beams holding the tunnel from collapsing.  _ Who’s Burren again? _

“This is going surprisingly well,” Schlatt commented, following behind me.  _ Yeah, I suppose nothing has gone wrong in claiming these stone bricks. Except for me almost falling to my death. _

“Don’t jinx it,” I added, and saw some chests up ahead next to a guy with brown hair and glasses, who seemed to be mining out an area with a wooden pickaxe.  _ Wouldn’t a wooden pickaxe be more inefficient than, like, a stone one or something? Surely he has access to a better one.  _

“Hey,” James greeted who I assumed was Burren. Burren looked over and waved at us. 

“You were the guy who needed a boat trip, right?” Burren asked, and I nodded, “Cool!” 

“Great conversation, stone bricks are in that chest,” James said, and pointed to one of the many chests against the wall. I walked over to it, and opened the chest. It brought up an inventory looking screen, which was filled with stone bricks.  _ Perfect! _

“How many should I take?” I asked, looking at the plethora of items inside. 

“A lot, like as much for a hugeeee castle,” Schlatt stated, and so I grabbed as many as my inventory could fit.  _ This better be enough… _

[Warning: Inventory Full! Cannot pick up any more items until space is cleared]

“Who gave you that quest?” Burren asked, coming over to us. 

“Some fellas called Ryan and Altrive. They’re building a kingdom,” Schlatt explained, and Burren looked confused. 

“Don’t know how they would pull that off, but okay,” Burren said, and shrugged.  _ What are they trying to accomplish by building a kingdom? A new place for people to live? Or just a giant decoration? _

“We should probably head back out, just in case something bad happens,” I said, and left the chests with Schlatt and headed upwards towards the surface.  _ Is it still going to be raining? Let’s seeeeeeeeeeeeeee… _

“Fuck yeah!” I exclaimed, looking at the dreary sky. The sky was still gray, the terrain was still wet and muddy, but there was no rain pouring.  _ Yes!!!!!!  _

“We’re probably going to get attacked soon, congrats,” Schlatt stated, and started walking.  _ Nahhhh…  _

“So, do you have a sense of direction to where Third Town is?” I asked, and Schlatt shrugged. 

“I mean, probably. We just retrace our steps,” Schlatt stated, and kept going in a direction that I was sure was  _ not  _ the right way. 

“You mean the steps that the rain washed away?!” I exclaimed, “Why don’t we ask the Roughhouse guys to give us a ride to Third Town?”

“They have other stuff to do, and I still know my way around this forest. I have muscle memory!” Schlatt declared, and headed off into the forest.  _ I gotta rely on Schlatt for the way back… god damnit.  _

“You probably have no fucking clue where you’re going!” I exclaimed, and Schlatt laughed. 

“Don’t worry kid, they call me the memory man, for my excellent memory,” Schlatt stated, “I recognize this tree!” 

“You’re starting to sound like Technoblade. There’s no fucking way you recongize that tree!” I declared, and Schlatt pointed to a stump. 

“I was sitting there,” Schlatt stated, “So we must have come from…. that way!”

“That way is back to the mine.”

“I meant *that* way,” Schlatt corrected himself, and decided on a totally random direction.  _ We’re going to get so fucking lost. _

***Gargle, gargle*** I jumped at the sound of what sounded like someone drowning. 

“Hello?! Is someone out there?” I yelled, and Schlatt and I glanced around.  _ If it isn’t a person, what the fuck made that noise?! _

Somewhere, sounds of unintelligible speech were calling out. 

“Schlatt, what the fuck does that mean?!” I asked, panicking.  _ What fucking monster is it this time?! _

“Kid, I gotta tell you, I do not have a fucking clue.” Schlatt answered, and the unintelligible speech got louder. 

“Maybe we should get out of here?” I suggested, and we both got as far away from the sounds as possible.  _ Fuck, that was scary! _

“Great, they’re-”

The sounds came back, and seemed to be even louder than before. I glanced up, expecting something huge to be looming over us, but instead I noticed that the clouds seemed to go by unusually fast.

“Schlatt, the sky is… uh… being fast-forwarded!” I said, pointing to the sky. He also looked up at the sky, and shrugged.

“Guess someone’s tampering with the time right again,” Schlatt stated, and shrugged. “It’ll hopefully not stop at night so we don’t have to deal with more monsters.”

I looked up again and saw the sky turn dark. 

“You just  _ had _ to say that,” I said, and watched as the sky stopped going fast.  _ Well, now it’s fucking night. Yay.  _

“Traveling at night would probably lead to something bad happening. How about we just camp here until it’s morning again?” Schlatt suggested, and took out a lantern.  _ Why the fuck did we travel at night from Second to Third Town then!? _

“Do you have anything for a camp? Like, I dunno, some kind of fire pit or something?” I asked, and Schlatt shook his head.

“We could try to make one by lighting some of that wood you have on fire,” Schlatt suggested, and a piece of wood appeared in front of him.  _ It’s all… wet. _

“But it’s wet from the rain earlier, how are-”

Schlatt held out his hand and a burst of flames came out from it, igniting the wet piece of wood. I stood there, stunned, as Schlatt sat down next to a now burning piece of wood.

“It’s a spell,” Schlatt said, and gave no more information.

“What the fuck?! Why didn’t you use that on the monster that attacked us like yesterday?!” I exclaimed, also reluctantly sitting next to the fire. 

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> cameos:
> 
> Roughhouse: they changed their names because the chapters before came out before they rebranded and I didn’t feel like going back to fix it :P.


	17. Back To Third Town

Camping the night in a random forest with no one else but Schlatt was a very fucking horrifying experience. There were multiple instances of strange noises and shadows along the trees, and sometimes Schlatt’s fire would go out while he wasn't paying attention, causing total darkness. Once the fucking sun came up, I felt a wave of relief wash over me.

“Let’s never do that again,” I said, stretching. Schlatt yawned and looked up. 

“Yeah, that’s probably a good idea,” Schlatt agreed, “So, now off to Third Town!”

“Are you positive you can lead us to Third Town, with no extra paths or ‘accidental’ loss of direction?” I asked, still not trusting the ‘memory man’.  _ We only have a day left to find Ryan and Altrive and get these materials to them… and if we get lost, it’ll just be a big waste of our time. Still, it’s better than straight up death. _

“Yes,” Schlatt replied, and we started the trek back towards Third Town. Surprisingly, Schlatt found the entrance quite quickly, saving us time.  _ Hurrah! _

“Now, to find the quest givers,” Schlatt stated, and we walked into Third Town for a second time. It seemed more people were up this morning than the last time we were here, and there were a lot of them.

“There’s so many people here… how the fuck are we supposed to find those guys again?!” I exclaimed, and Schlatt shrugged. The place where Schlatt and I had first encountered them was now crowded with people and beastmen, trading and talking and such. 

“Look for the cyclops, maybe. He’s fucking blue.” Schlatt suggested. We started going through the crowd, looking for Ryan.  _ Oh my god.  _

We spent the next hour looking through the crowd for them, which was unsuccessful.  _ God damn it.  _

“Uurg I fucking hate this!” I exclaimed, punching a nearby wall.  _ God damn it. _

“Hate what?” I looked up and saw  _ fucking Ryan.  _ Schlatt shrugged.

“Where the fuck did you go?! We were looking for you guys everywhere!” I exclaimed angrily, and Ryan shrugged. 

“So, you completed the quest?” Ryan asked, totally ignoring my question.  _ You dickhead!  _

“Yeah, we did. Here,” Schlatt said, and took out the wood. I also gave up the large amount of stone bricks to Ryan, who looked impressed.

[Quest Completed!]

“That’s a lot of stuff, huh. Here, uh, what did I have to give you guys?” Ryan asked, and tried to look for the quest. 

“5 to 20 gold coins… and taking us to dinner,” Schlatt said, and showed the quest to Ryan. 

“Damn… it’s like morning. I could give you the gold coins, but you’d have to wait till later for dinner,” Ryan said, “I guess I’d see you guys later then. Here’s 16 gold coins, Uhh… I’ll be near that giant clock tower in the middle of town if you guys need to find me.”

“Ok,” Schlatt said, and we watched Ryan walk away and disappear into the crowd. Schlatt handed me 6 gold coins, and took the rest for himself.  _ Well, now what the fuck do we do? _

“What should we do now?” I asked, and Schlatt shrugged. 

“Wait, I guess,” Schlatt suggested, and leaned against the wall.  _ Bruh, that’s boring! I’d rather fight a monster then have to wait a couple hours. _

“Oh, hey! It’s you guys again,” someone said, walking up to us.  _ Who is it? It’s that guitar dude! What was his name again? _

“What, did you think we’d immediately leave?” Schlatt asked, turning to face Wilbur. 

“Maybe. Anyways, uh, what are you guys doing right now?” Wilbur said, and Schlatt shrugged once again. 

“We’re just waiting for night. Do you have something that we could do instead of wait? Cause that’d be very poggers,” I asked, and Wilbur took out a piece of paper.

“Uh, there’s this big quest to try and fix the dragon seal near here. I don’t think we’ll fix it today, but you could apply for it and try to get other people to join,” Wilbur suggested, and handed me the piece of paper.  _ I have no idea what a “dragon seal” does, but it would probably be better than just sitting around! _

Schlatt and I looked over the piece of paper, which read:  _ Hey! We are in need of adventurers to help us fix the Dragon Seal, otherwise Third Town might go up in flames! Meet at the Clock Tower at noon tomorrow if you want to help! _

“This seems like a pretty big deal… This whole town could be destroyed if that’s not fixed? Wouldn’t more people want to sign up to save this town?” I said aloud, passing the paper back to Wilbur.

“Not many experienced adventurers actually stay here in Third Town.. Most of the people here are builders and designers, not actual adventurers,” Wilbur said, and shrugged, “The Dragon Seal quest will be easy money.”

“I love money,” Schlatt said. 

“So, uh, what do we do to get people to sign up?” I asked Wilbur.  _ Do we annoy them or just show them the flyer? _

“You could just put these flyers around town, like on walls and stuff,” Wilbur suggested, and handed me a bunch of flyers.  _ This is a fucking lot of flyers for an “easy” quest. _

“Yep, the kid and I can do that,” Schlatt said, and took some of the flyers from the pile.  _ Like you’re actually going to do anything. _

“Alright, I’ll probably see you guys tomorrow,” Wilbur stated, and left Schlatt and I with a big pile of flyers for an easy quest. 

“So, do you know how to put up flyers?” I asked Schlatt, who was observing the flyer closely. 

“Lover boy said that the dragon seal would be an easy quest, correct?” Schlatt asked, and I nodded.

“Yeah, why?” I said, and Schlatt showed me some words beneath the flyer.  _ All rewards will be split evenly among everyone who helps fix the Dragon Seal! _

“If we spread the flyers, more people will join which means less rewards. If it’s easy, I bet even you could try and fix it. Soooo, we just inconspicuously throw out the flyers, and end up with more rewards!” Schlatt explained, and crumpled up a flyer into a tiny ball, then stepped on it. 

“That… actually sounds like a decent idea,” I said.  _ More rewards could help me get better weapons, armor, and other stuff! _

“They call me the idea man, y’know,” Schlatt stated. Schlatt and I spent the next hours trying to throw away the flyers. Who knew finding a dumpster in Third Town would be so time consuming?

After noticing that the sun was going down, we headed over to the Clock Tower to meet up with Ryan for our “reward” of dinner. 

“Oh, hey guys! I was wondering if you were even going to show up!” Ryan greeted us, and Schlatt scoffed.

“No one would turn down a free dinner,” Schlatt stated. 

“It really isn’t ‘free’ since you and Tommy did a quest to do it. Anyways, follow me,” Ryan said, and started walking.  _ I guess it is free for Schlatt, since he did fucking nothing! _

We followed Ryan to a fancy looking restaurant, where he motioned us to sit down at a table. Altrive was already sitting at the table, along with Wilbur and two other people I’ve never seen before. One had dark hair and a mustache, and was wearing a very professional looking outfit. The other had light brown hair, a red shirt, and black pants.

“Hello!” Ryan said, announcing our arrival. “This is Schlatt and Tommy, they were the ones who completed the quest and requested ‘dinner’ to be one of the rewards.”

“Yea, I know them,” Wilbur stated, “They helped hand out flyers for your guy’s quest.”

“Oh, sweet! We’ll probably need all the help we can get to fix it,” the light brown hair guy said.  _ Yes, we totally got more people to sign up.  _

“How’d it break?” I asked, sitting down at the table. 

“Faulty wiring,” the dude with the mustache answered.  _ Wiring? Wouldn’t it be powered by magic? _

“Oh! I almost forgot to introduce ourselves! Hi, I’m Grian, and he’s Mumbo! We’re some of the head designers for Third Town!” Grian introduced himself and Mumbo, and I shook his hand.  _ Head designers? Huh, cool. _

“Nice to meet you,” Schlatt said. 

“Why would the seal be wired? Wouldn’t magic be better to keep it fixed?” I asked, curious.  _ If magic is available, why not use it? _

“No, magic can become unreliable. Also, the Dragon Seal uses up most of the surrounding mana, making magic useless near it. We don’t use magic in Third Town, instead focusing on handiwork skills and such,” Mumbo explained, and Grian nodded.  _ Wouldn’t magic make building things easier? What are they on about? _

“Wait, what does the Dragon Seal actually do?” I asked. 

“It keeps the big ol’ dragon that lives in the mountain from waking up and destroying the town, which would not be good,” Altrive explained.  _ There’s a fucking dragon in a mountain?!  _

“So… the Seal isn’t totally broken, but is going to break soon?” I asked.

“Basically. Hopefully tomorrow’s expedition won’t result in waking up the dragon when we tamper with the Dragon Seal,” Grian stated.  _ Hopefully?!  _

“Hey, uh, I heard you guys talking about fixing the Dragon Seal. I got the flyer, and want to help,” a new voice stated, coming over to the table. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> cameos:
> 
> MumboJumbo & Grian- third town focuses more on the non magic side of things so of course the people there are better at building and stuff like that


	18. Sleep is for the Weak

“How the f- I mean, great, you’ll probably help!” Schlatt answered back to the dude, who was wearing some kind of gray and white blindfold, and had pale grayish skin. _How the fuck did this guy find a flyer?! I thought we burned all of them!_

“I mean, sure. We need all the help we can get,” Grian added, and shook the gray dude’s hand, “What’s your name?”

“Uh, call me A6d. I might get some potions or something just in case. So, I’ll see you guys tomorrow then,” the dude with a fucking number in his name said, and waved goodbye. _What kind of name is that?! Also, he left almost immediately._

“Looks like spreading the flyers around did make some people wanna come, or at the very least that dude,” Wilbur stated. 

“Yep,” I agreed, glancing at Schlatt, who shrugged. _If that number guy had a flyer, wouldn’t that mean other people got it as well?!_

“Oh yeah, would you guys need gear and stuff?” Grian asked, “We have some spare armor and weapons if you need them.”

“I mean-”

“We’ll be fine,” Schlatt said, interrupting me. _You sure?!_

“Hold on-”

“They could have rental fees, Tommy,” Schlatt whispered, and continued reassuring Grian that we didn’t need any extra gear. _Rental fees?! What the fuck! Our lives might be at stake and you’re worried about that?_

The rest of the dinner was pretty boring, we were just eating and having random conversations, which Schlatt kept mentioning how beneficial being a businessman could be. Once we all left, I stood outside with Schlatt, who was proud of how he handed out a business card to everyone inside the restaurant.

“Huh. I don’t think I’ve actually spent the night in a town that looked this nice before,” I commented, looking up at the sky. 

“Nice? Where’ve you been sleeping then?!” Schlatt asked. _I only slept like once since I got here…. Have I become immune to feeling tired or some shit?_

“I think I slept at a place in Second Town that wasn’t very comfortable,” I answered, shrugging, “Other than that… I haven’t slept that much.”

“Huh,” Schlatt said, “Well, I think there’s an inn nearby, we can stay at.”

“Don’t those cost money?” I commented. 

“Everything in the world costs money, kid,” Schlatt said, “I mean, you did just get paid for doing that gathering quest.”

“Wait, didn’t you also get money? Why should I pay?” I exclaimed

“It is because I, J. Schlatt, have decided that you are going to pay the inn fees. Of course, as a businessman I will compensate you for your trouble”

_Well, if he’s going to give me something in return I guess it’s alright. But it’s Schlatt, he might just give me some cheap armor again or maybe nothing at all._

And so Schlatt and I walked over to a nearby inn that seemed good enough without looking too run down. I got us a room with two beds instead of two rooms because that option was cheaper, later regretting the situation when I found out the hard way that Schlatt snored.

I eventually fell asleep, but was woken up early by Schlatt shaking my arm.

“Psst, kid. It’s time to wake up”

“What the fuck? It’s still dark out!”

Maybe it was because of the lack of sleep but I was in a slightly irritable mood, contrary to my usual kind, agreeable and understanding nature. But what I said was true, looking out the window, the sun hadn’t even begun to rise. _What’s up with this company and traveling when the sun’s not out?_

Closing my eyes once again, I tried to get a bit more sleep.

Feeling warmth across my face, I steadily started to wake up. _It’s morning already? Damn, that went by quickly._

Somehow, I had managed to ignore Schlatt and sleep in for once. Although, I still felt really tired.

When I opened my eyes it was still dark out. In front of my face was instead a flame held in Schlatt’s hand. At least I think it was a hand, his robe covered up every part of his body apart from his horns so I couldn’t tell. 

“W-what the fuck?!”

“Tommy, didn’t I tell you to get up just now?” Schlatt said as he chuckled. 

I scrambled out of bed in order to get ready, which wasn’t a lot of work anyways. All I had to do was put on my cape and belt. _Wait a minute, now that I think about it, I’ve been wearing the same clothes this whole time. I guess they don’t smell, so it should be okay._

“Alright, alright! I’m ready to go to...where are we going anyways?”

“We’re going to Schlatt & Co Third Town Headquarters. My business associate has plenty of items and gear we can use for the Dragon Seal quest.”

“What is the quality of the goods that you have there?” I asked suspiciously, still remembering the free armor incident.

“The armor from the tournament was all part of a bad shipment that came in so we gave it away for free. I can assure you that all goods sold by Schlatt & Co are top tier quality,” Schlatt talked as he began leading me out of the inn through twists and turns until we arrived at a building.

It seemed normal enough, it wasn’t near some kind of sketchy alleyway or neighborhood, but the street it was on was very quiet. Then again, the sun hadn’t even risen yet. _Schlatt practically threatened me to get up._

Schlatt took out a key from his robe and opened the shop up, and inside there was a man with light brown hair and overalls sitting at the counter. 

I decided that since these people were giving me free stuff (at the same time, not for free) I would introduce myself first. I would do that anyways, since I’m such a friendly fellow, but still.

“Hello, I’m Tommy. Nice to meet you,” I said while sticking out my hand.

The man looked up from whatever he was doing and shook my hand while replying, “Hi Chommy, I’m Connor. Ignore what anyone else says, I only eat pants for brand recognition.”

_Well, I never asked him anything about eating pants but now I’m kind of curious. Wait, what is this fucker doing making fun of my accent?!_

Holding back a string of curses, I tried to keep the conversation going. 

“You’re the one supplying us with new gear right? Where exactly did you get the gear from?”

Connor broke eye contact with me before letting out a suspicious chuckle.

“It’s a funny story, actually. I usually just go to First Town, you know the Dream Team? Well the people at First Town are really nice, so I go around asking and they just start giving me free stuff. They also just leave a lot of things just lying around without locks or signs or anything so it’s not stealing. Just borrowing.”

_WHAT? Why didn’t Ty tell me about this?_

“So, what are you guys doing that are in need of armor and stuff?” Connor asked, and Schlatt pulled out the flyer from before and showed Connor, who looked at it once before handing it back to Schlatt, “Huh. I guess you could take some of the armor and weapons back here.”

“Ok,” Schlatt said, and we both started to look through the stuff. _There’s a lot of fucking stuff back here. Did they really just give him all this?_

I started by looking for some cool looking armor, which there was a lot of. Some looked like the armor people in medieval times wore, and others looked like they came out of a toddler’s imagination with the amounts of colors just thrown up on it. 

I grabbed an ok looking set of armor, which more resembled the medieval times, and added it to my inventory.

[“Pretty OK Armor” has been added to your inventory. Slots left: **8/12** ]

_Since when did I have twelve inventory spots? Did I level up in my sleep or something? “Pretty Ok” for an armor rating better be good._

Looking for a sword was easy, but choosing a sword was hard. I had absolutely no idea how much damage one would do, what kind of boosts they could give me, or anything else that might be special about it. I had to rely on looks, which was probably one of the worst ways to pick a sword. 

I lined up all the swords I could find and closed my eyes, and chose a sword that seemed to be made out of a blue material. _I guess I’ll take this one._

[“Obamacare” added to your inventory]

“Why the fuck is this named Obamacare?!” I exclaimed, looking at the sword in my inventory. _What is that supposed to imply?! That there's someone named Obama in this world?!_

“That sounds quite threatening,” Schlatt commented, and looked over at Connor, who shrugged. 

“What can I say? I got it free,” Connor replied. 

Schlatt and I spent a good couple of hours hanging out with Connor, not really doing much. Then, when the time came, we gathered with everyone else who signed up to prepare for the dragon seal. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> cameos:
> 
> Obamacare: before you cancel me let me just say that it was the name of a sword Schlatt had in Minecraft Monday’s (I think, don’t quite remember where)


	19. The Dragon Seal

“What a crowd!” Wilbur remarked, looking at all five of us here. Me, Wilbur, Schlatt, A6d, and Grian were the only ones standing at the clock tower.  _ So it seems that the flyers didn’t go out to the others, except somehow A6d got it.  _

“Yeah, passing out the flyers really helped,” Schlatt said, knowing fully well that we dumped the flyers into a dumpster. 

“I guess you guys are just too good at passing out flyers,” Wilbur sarcastically shot back. 

“Look, it’s fine! Five people is good enough for the dragon seal, most of the people around here don’t know how to fight anyway so I wasn’t expecting a lot” Grian said, trying to break the tension, “Let’s go right now, to not waste time and stuff!”

“Where is the dragon seal?” A6d asked, and murmured in some kind of different language under his breath.  _ French, maybe? He seems like the type of dude to speak french. _

“Follow me,” Grian stated, and our small group followed Grian through town, and eventually we reached a mountain that was about five minutes away from Third Town, which definitely looked like it could hold a dragon inside of it. 

“That’s pretty fucking big,” I commented, looking up at the mountain. Grian led us to a hole in the side, which looked pretty unremarkable until he pulled a lever, revealing a secret door. 

Inside there was a room with a table, and on the table was a white box with some swirly designs on it. Besides a door in the wall, there was also some weird colored fog floating around the room that didn’t seem potentially deadly or harmful, it was just there.

“What’s with the fog?” Wilbur asked, trying to clear it with his hands. 

“It’s the condensed mana that keeps the dragon from waking up, it’s turned visible because of how much there is in one place,” Grian answered, “There’s usually way more fog.”

“Soo… how do we fix it?” I asked, walking over to the box.  _ It doesn’t look broken… or scratched, or anything. What’s the problem? _

“Well, the problem is that there isn’t enough mana around here. Apparently someone or something snuck in a few nights ago and tried to use a spell, draining some of the nearby mana. Mumbo and I think they might try it again, so we decided to get people to help set up traps around here,” Grian explained.  _ The seal could be broken by just using magic? That’s kinda easy to destroy… _

“We just have to set up traps? Nice,” Schlatt commented, and gave me the thumbs-up. “This’ll be easy!”

“Unless someone chooses to screw us over,” Wilbur added, and glanced at me.  _ What the fuck have I ever done to bother you?! _

“Hey, what does that door lead to?” A6d asked, pointing to the door in the wall. 

“A path towards the dragon, just in case something goes wrong,” Grian said, “The path goes down to a giant cavern where the dragon is sleeping.”

“Why don’t we just kill the bastard? Wouldn’t that solve the problem?” I asked.  _ If the fucker’s dead, there’s really no threat left. _

“You can’t, it’s scales are invincible, and it’s pretty deadly,” Grian answered, and I heard some murmuring in the background noise.  _ Eh? What was that noise? _

“Wait, what the fuck?! Where’s the fog going?!” Wilbur said, and caused the rest of us to look around. The fog started to dissipate at a worrying rate, a  _ very  _ worrying rate.

“Did someone use a spell?! This is not good, not at all!” Grian exclaimed, looking helplessly at the fog.  _ What the fuck is going to happen if this fog is all gone? The seal’s going to break, maybe? _

“We are not in the ideal situation,” Schlatt commented, as the fog was now completely gone, and the box was then cracked. We glanced at each other, not knowing what to do, and then the floor shook.

“Uh-” 

[A Very Angry Dragon has awoken]

[Strength has significantly decreased]

[The Dragon’s Exclusive skill, “Predator’s Threat” is in effect]

“Uh-here, you guys should go down and try to distract the dragon, I’ll try and get someone to help fix this before the dragon breaks out,” Grian stated, and ran out the entrance.  _ What the fuck?! “This would be easy,” they said. Now we have to distract a dragon?! _

“Wait, what can you guys do? Like what’s your skills and shit?” I asked, doubtful that at least one person here had an actual useful skill to use against a dragon. 

“As long as I cover my eyes, I get enhancements in my physical ability. I can still see though,” A6d explained, and the floor shook again.  _ Does that boost help him see since it’s physical ability? _

“Oddly specific,” I commented, and A6d shrugged.

“Yeah, that’s great, we should start going downstairs before the dragon blows up the fucking mountain,” Wilbur said, and opened the door in the wall. We all started to run down the stairs (except for Schlatt, of course) towards the dragon.

“Schlatt, come on!” I said, looking up the stairs at Schlatt slowly walking down the stairs. 

“Don’t worry, I’ll get there in time. Besides, the only thing that will take me down is a fucking heart attack,” Schlatt said, and continued going slowly down the stairs.  _ The dragon’s going to escape this cave before Schlatt gets down here.  _

“Wait, before we go in, we should make some sort of-” A6d stated, and I rushed past him and into the dragon’s den. 

The dragon was a very large beast, with shimmering black scales and gray spikes upon the back, with big wings and glowing eyes. It swiveled its head around when the door opened, and stared at me. I equipped my newly acquired armor, and the new sword. 

“What are you doing? Didn’t you hear that the dragon is invincible?!” A6d shouted, and I turned around to see everyone still standing in the door. 

“Oh yeah, sh-”

“FUCK!” The dragon’s tail swung right into me, or at least it would have if I hadn’t been hit with some kind of bolt of magic, pushing me back.

“We gotta go in there,” Wilbur said, and rushed into the cave with A6d behind him. I still had no fucking clue how far Schlatt had gotten while walking down the stairs. 

I turned around to face the dragon, which had smoke pouring out of its nostrils. It tried to stand up, causing the cavern to shake again.  _ Fuck! _

“We need to distract it!” A6d shouted, and ran to the left of the dragon. The dragon roared, and a pillar of flame erupted from its mouth, targeted toward Wilbur, who jumped out of the way towards me. 

“Do you have a plan to distract it?!” Wilbur yelled back, and took out a bow to try and distract the dragon from getting too close to either of them. I still had no fucking clue what to do, so I started trying to hit the dragon’s tail with my sword.

“Just keep trying to hit it?” A6d suggested, and threw some kind of grenade which I assumed was closer to Ty’s fire-magic grenade. 

“Die, bitch!” I yelled, and started trying to stab its tail. The sword seemed to clang against the scales, not getting through them.

_ Thwap! _

The tail suddenly moved back and smacked me across the chest, which I suppose I would have died from if I hadn’t been wearing this armor. It still fucking hurt, though.

“Are you alright?” A6d said, turning over to me. I gave him a thumbs up and he continued to try and distract the dragon with magical fire bombs. Standing up slowly, I stretched and looked at the battle going on. 

It was definitely being distracted, with all the fire and arrows being thrown against its skin, but how long could the three of us keep this distraction up? Hopefully long enough.

“It’s going to do the fire again!” A6d warned, and sure enough, there was smoke pouring out of its nostrils. Its head swiveled around, glancing at each of us before looking straight at me.  _ Shit.  _

I started running as fast as I could after being hit with a giant dragon tail, as its attention was directly on me.  _ This is fucking bad!  _

“Hey! Dragon!” Wilbur yelled, and shot an arrow towards its eyes. It looked at Wilbur, and let out a burst of flame towards him, which he blocked with a shield.

“Oh, hey guys!” 

I turned over to see Schlatt walking through the door, who didn’t seem distrubed by the giant dragon currently fighting us to get out of the cave.

“About time!” I commented, looking back at the dragon, who seemed confused by the new guy wearing a cloak. I dove over the dragon’s tail, now closer to its wings, which it had no use for as it was in a fucking cave.

“A dragon, huh? I could easily beat a dragon,” Schlatt commented, and took a step into the cave. The dragon suddenly roared, and moved its head over to stare at Schlatt.  _ Uh-oh.  _

“Aren’t you some kind of goat beastmen? Don’t dragons… uh… eat goats?” A6d asked, and smoke started pouring out once again.  _ So the dragon wants to eat Schlatt? How _

“I’m not a beastman, I’m a business-”

Schlatt was suddenly enveloped in flames provided by the dragon, completely surrounding the entrance to the cave. 

“Fuck!” I heard Schlatt yell.

_ Well, that can’t be good.  _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yo there's a discord server now   
> [woah :0]  
> https://discord.gg/npemjDQKqw


	20. He's Alive!

**woooooooooooooooooooo late chapter pog**

**\-------------------------------------------**

We all stared at Schlatt, who was now presumed to have been burning alive.

“Are you still alive, Schlatt?” Wilbur asked loudly, while the dragon continued to burn the spot where Schlatt was standing. 

“Stab the dragon!” Schlatt yelled while in the middle of being burned alive. I took out my sword and threw it at the dragon, who then flinched and stopped burning Schlatt. 

“Urg.. Fuck! You bitch!” Schlatt cursed, and I glanced over to him, and the brown cloak was now gone. In Schlatt’s place stood a short figure with a ram head, wearing a blue cloak covering everything except his head.  _ Excuse me, what the fuck?! Another fucking cloak under the first? _

“Schlatt, what the-”

[Your skill ◼️◼️◼️ has activated]

_ Wait, huh?  _

Some kind of shining white light appeared, blinding me for a few seconds.  _ WHAT THE FUCK IS HAPPENING?!  _

“Wait, where’d the dragon go?” I heard A6d ask, “What the hell?”

I opened my eyes, blinking a few times, and glanced at the now empty cave. I just stared, not having a fucking clue how to react. Everyone else seemed to be the same before Schlatt spoke up.

“Kid, what the fuck was that?” Schlatt remarked, now looking two feet shorter than he was before.

“Some weird fucking skill activated that I’ve never seen before in my life… I couldn’t even read the name of it,” I said, very confused on how I somehow activated some kind of peculiar skill.

“You can’t have two exclusive skills, idiot, it’s fucking impossible,” Schlatt remarked. 

“Schlatt, what do you mean by ‘impossible’?”

Schlatt walked over to me and replied back in a cautious voice, “Listen kid, lemme tell you. The system is what keeps the world intact, it gives people powers needed to survive and such. It would never make a mistake like giving you a second skill. The system assigns skills perfectly fit for the person using them, the only times someone would need that such a powerful skill would be if they were the hero.”

“Hero?” I had no idea what that meant.  _ Was I a hero? I’m pretty sure my skill is enhanced senses, and every way I look at it, having better senses couldn’t make a dragon disappear into thin fucking air. _

“The hero appears every few centuries corresponding to the demon king’s true awakening. As in when the demon king would be at his strongest.”

_ Why every few centuries? After the demon king is defeated does he just go and train for a thousand years? _

“The hero only awakens their second skill when it’s time to fulfill their destiny. They go off and kill the demon king, sacrificing themself in the process. It’s an endless loop that will go on and on and on and on,” Schlatt said in a tone I couldn’t comprehend.  _ Wait. If I’m the hero does that mean I’m going to die young? Fuck! I still need to get a girlfriend! _

“What? Then how do you know that the hero sacrificed themself? What if they just ran away to live a peaceful life instead of dealing with this demon king bullshit?” I said, trying to deny any thought of my death and me being a ‘hero’. 

Schlatt sighed, “Kid, you can’t live a peaceful life when the demon king is around. Second, adventurers always go to the demon castle a few days after the hero, only to find nothing at all except what is assumed to be the demon king’s staff and the hero’s sword.”

“That’s fucking dark,” I commented, and looked down at Schlatt, “Do you think  _ I  _ am the hero?” 

“No. I mean, what kind of system would have you as the hero?” Schlatt commented, and glanced over at A6d and Wilbur, who were just standing there. 

“What the fuck man!” I exclaimed, and Schlatt shrugged. 

“You guys weren’t that secretive during your talk,” Wilbur noted, as he and A6d walked over to us. Schlatt then started to look through his inventory, grumbling. 

“Yeah… So, you somehow made the dragon disappear?” A6d asked, looking back at the empty cavern.

“That will probably come in handy when you go to defeat the demo- oh, right,” Schlatt commented, “Oops.”

“You’re going to defeat ‘the’ demon king?” A6d assumed, “Why?”

“No! I’m not going to go defeat the demon king.”

“Because he got a quest,” Schlatt answered, “What? I mean, you wanna just go to the castle with me?”

“What the fuck was all that talk about keeping keeping the demon king stuff a secret?” I exclaimed angrily.  _ Who knows if these guys could be spying for the demon king?! _

“I mean, couldn’t you just make the demon king disappear? It wouldn’t be that hard to defeat that fucker if he just disappears like that dragon,” Wilbur commented, motioning to the empty cave.  _ Except I don’t know how I did that in the first place!  _

“Yeah, exactly. You could have these guys help you,” Schlatt said, and glanced at the entrance to the cave, “I have to get a new coat.”

“Help… defeat the demon king? Huh,” A6d said, “I mean, I don’t have anything else to do.”

“Yippee,” Schlatt stated, and glanced at the way back up the stairs, “I better get compensated well for this, I lost a perfectly good coat!”

“I guess the threat of the dragon is gone, quite literally,” Wilbur commented.

“That means we’ll be able to use magic now, right?” I asked before remembering something.  _ Wait, didn’t Schlatt use magic back at the inn before? Yeah! When he was waking me up! Hmm... _

“Sounds about right. We should probably go up to meet with Grian,” Schlatt said, and started to walk up the stairs, the rest of us following him. 

_ I have no quests left, basically nothing to do… is it time to finally beat the demon king? FUCK YEAH! _

“Huff- Hey, what are you guys doing here?” Grian asked while running in, his chest heaving, “What about the dragon?”

“The dragon is gone,” A6d said, and Grian stared at him.

“Huh? What do you mean?”

“It’s not there anymore, it’s gone, vanished.”

“What the heck?! How?” Grian asked, looking at us, “Is this a joke?”

“You could go down and check for yourself,” Wilbur stated. Grian glanced at us, and then went down the stairs to probably check if what we were saying was true.

After a confusing talk with Grian about how we got the dragon to disappear, he and Mumbo chose to give us our rewards. 

“You guys somehow found a way to get rid of the invincible dragon, which is probably way better than just guarding this place,” Mumbo said, “We could give you way better weapons and armor, and probably some gold coins.”

“Yeah, you probably need that,” Schlatt remarked, looking at me.  _ I’m not weak! I wonder how powerful the armor they have is. It better be fucking good! _

“We recently made some new pieces of armor that one of you could take, and the rest could get some gold coins,” Mumbo stated.

“I’ll take the armor!” I said instantly, and Mumbo took out gold coins which he gave to Wilbur, A6d, and Schlatt. 

“Sweet,” Schatt remarked, and pocketed them. 

“So, I guess we should meet up later, yeah? I’ll go get prepared,” Wilbur said, and walked away towards Third Town. 

“I’ll see you later as well,” A6d said, and also headed off.

“Alright, I’ll go head off now. You could come pick some armor up probably later, I’ll be at my Emporium which is pretty close to the Clock Tower. See you later!” Grian said, and also walked off with Mumbo. 

“Well, now time to wait,” I said, and sat down. 

“What great preparation for going to the demon castle,” Schlatt remarked, “Wouldn’t you want to learn or prepare for that?”

“I mean, that would probably be good. Are you offering to teach me something?” I asked.  _ He does have access to some kind of fire magic, he could teach me that. I could then start lighting shit on fire! _

“Sure, kid. Let’s treat it as me paying off my debt to you for helping my help back there. Not that I  _ really _ needed it but…” I heard the last part of Schlatt’s sentence but chose to ignore it.  _ He’s like, 4’2. What could he do? … Oh yeah, fire magic. _

_ “ _ Speaking of magic Schlatt, why did you use magic for such a stupid reason back at the inn?” I asked, suddenly remembering once again.  _ There was also that time on our way back from the blue guy’s quest.. _

Schlatt continued to walk at a leisurely pace, twisting and turning through numerous paths throughout the town. It looked like he really knew his way around. 

“They call me the Schlatt of all trades. I can do almost anything. Controlling a measly flame like that is no problem for a genius like me,” Schlatt boasted.

“Alright.”

Third Town was huge. Surrounded by mountains by almost all sides you would have thought that they would have been far behind on technology, but they actually seemed ahead of the other towns I had been at.

Sure, it was nothing compared to the modern technology I was used to, but still impressive. The buildings and machines we passed on the way were nothing to look down upon.

Surprisingly enough, Schlatt was a decent teacher. On the way to the Emporium was able to learn how to control mana into actual magic spells. I just needed to get used to it. It didn’t help that Third Town’s mana was unstable because of the whole dragon thing, so it could be said that I am a genius. We continued to roam around Third Town with no clear destination until Schlatt decided that he was done with playing teacher for the day and started off towards the Emporium.

We soon stepped foot into the Emporium, which was indeed next to a familiar giant ass clock tower.

“Ah, welcome!” A voice greeted us from beyond the counter as we walked in.

“Do you guys sell cloaks here? I want a fireproof one,” Schlatt didn’t bother to greet the person behind the counter as he strolled in as if he owned the place.

I busied myself by looking at the nice armor and other tools around the shop. Definitely an upgrade from Connor’s stuff.  _ Sorry Connor, but I don’t wanna die. _

A cool looking set of armor on top of a mannequin caught my eye, and I strolled over to it. The top of the chestplate covered a blue shirt like thing, it really looked like something a knight would wear. Before impulsively choosing it, I looked for what stat boosts it had.

[Cool Armor: 

Boosts Agility +2

Boosts Speed +2

Boosts Strength +3]

_ That looks good, holy shit. With this armor I would be way more powerful!  _

“I want this one,” I told the cashier, and dumped the Cool Armor set onto the counter.

“You didn’t have to take it off the mannequin..,” the cashier remarked, “You’re the one Grian talked about, right?”

“Yes,” I answered, and the cashier gave it to me.  _ Great! _

[Cool Armor Received]

“So, you chose something?” Schlatt remarked, walking over. He seemed to acquire a new coat, but was still 4’2”. 

“Yes! I suppose I should go meet up with everyone else now,” I said, and shook Schlatt’s hand. This was probably the last time I would see him for a while. Schlatt had his shady business to take care of and I had to go and defeat a fucking demon king.

“Have fun and take care of yourself, kid. If you somehow make it back alive I’ll take you out to dinner. Maybe.”

And with that, Schlatt and I parted ways. I walked to the place where the rest of the group agreed to meet up. It was finally time to end my adventure and defeat the demon king.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> cameos:
> 
> Grian Emporium: grian’ shop from hermitcraft, I’m not really familiar with it so I don’t know what else to say here 


	21. The Demon Castle

“Hello!” I exclaimed as I saw Wilbur and A6d walk over, which had took a fucking while and just standing alone at this spot was very boring. Wilbur had his carriage behind him

“Hello,” A6d replied back, “You guys got some preparation stuff, right?”

“I brought a lot of stuff,” Wilbur answered, and proceeded to dump miscellaneous items on the floor.

“I got new armor,” I answered, and glanced at Wilbur’s stack of things. I noticed a couple potions, and a shield.

“Just armor? What about a weapon, like a sword or bow?” A6d asked.  _ Uh oh.. _

“You could take some weapons from the pile, I think I got some extras,” Wilbur stated, and I proceeded to take a cool looking sword, the shield from earlier, and a potion.

“So… where is the demon castle?” I asked, and Wilbur started to collect up the stuff from the miscellaneous items pile.

“In a desolate area that’s pretty far away,” A6d answered, “It usually takes a while to get there.”

“Should we go now, then?” I asked.

“Yeah, sure.”

We all loaded into Wilbur’s carriage which was already filled with supplies and set off on our way.

And after a painfully boring ride we finally arrived at the demon castle. We had been traveling for a couple nights on Wilbur’s carriage.

“We’re almost there everyone,” Wilbur said. I woke up from my nap and groggily rubbed my eyes.

“How do you know?” I asked before looking outside. The landscape seemed barren compared to the green forests and grasslands I was used to seeing in this fantasy world. Up ahead there was a single wooden sign that just seemed to be stuck in the ground.

“ ded land”

The sign looked worn down over time, with some of the letters so worn out I couldn’t read them.  _ Dead land? Seems fitting for demon territory.  _

A6d seemed to have woken up before me and was now anxiously polishing his sword. He also seemed to be speaking French under his breath again.  _ If only I actually paid attention in class, I’d known what he was saying then maybe I could have helped. _ The poor guy had probably never fought anything so strong before, looking at his abnormally pale skin. His skin was already pale, being in such a life threatening situation was definitely frightening. 

“What a useless sign,” Wilbur commented, “So… Do we bring the carriage to the castle or not? I can see it in the distance now.”

“We’re sneaking in, right? Unless we want to get instantly killed by some kind of trap...” A6d said, “We should probably leave the carriage.”

“Alright,” Wilbur said, and tied the carriage to the “ded land” sign. 

“Well we can’t fucking hide in a barren wasteland, can we?!” I exclaimed, looking at the place around us. There was just nothing around us, except for the demon castle in the distance.

“We just have to be fast,” Wilbur said, and took out three potions that had a hastily written label on it that stated:  _ Speed.  _

“So we just have to be fast to travel over there? That isn’t that good of a defense for the demon castle if we could just run up to it,” I commented while Wilbur gave each of us a speed potion. 

“Alright, just try running as fast as you can in three… two… one!”

I drank the potion and all three of us ran over the empty landscape, and arrived at the entrance to the demon castle in a couple of minutes. 

“Nice,” I said, “Soo… do we just enter through here?”

“Wouldn’t that be counter-productive, since this is the entrance which would be guarded?” A6d asked, and looked up at the big castle walls warily.

“We haven't been shot yet, we’re probably fine,” Wilbur said, and walked towards a pair of wooden doors. He reached the doors and tried opening it, to no avail.

“It’s locked?” A6d commented, and walked over to try to open the door. He pulled it, and it seemed nothing happened. He tried again, putting more strength into and still nothing.

“I bet I can open it,” I boasted, and walked over to the door. I reached for the handle and pulled, not really expecting it to open based on my previous luck.

[Your item “Badly Spelled Poster” has unlocked the door. Good luck!]

“What the fuck?!” I exclaimed as the door opened, which led to a bigger hallway inside which only had a fancy carpet as far as I could see.

“Tommy, you got any other cheat skills you need to tell you about?”

“I have no fucking clue this was about.” I responded back before looking into my inventory and pulling out the poster. 

[Badly Spelled Poster

Contents: “Undeer leval 10? Come joisn teh guisdl for fre cookuies!”

Description: A really badly spelled out poster.]

_ So this was the fucking key to the demon castle? It was that easy? Also, how do I still have this? _

“So what now?” Wilbur asked, while looking at the hallway. “There doesn’t seem to be anything here.”

“Let’s just keep walking for now,” A6d stated, and we all walked into the hallway. I then heard a buzzing noise go off before a new message appeared in front of us.

[Teleporting to “Game Arena”]

Suddenly the area around us changed, the three of us were standing in some giant tiles. Taking a look at our surroundings, the tiles were lined up into a path similar to candy land or monopoly. The colors of the tiles consisted of primary colors plus black. I estimated that there were about sixty tiles in total.

“Tommy, look up.” Wilbur tapped my shoulder gesturing above us. 

In the air was a man whose attire resembled a really well off adventurer. A satchel was attached to his waist with who knows what inside. 

It was difficult to decipher his facial expression due to a really long scarf covering half of his face leaving only his eyes visible.  _ It must get stuffy a lot. _

His eyes seemed to widen a fraction before he took out something from his satchel and took out what seemed to be a scroll and quill out before quickly jotting down something. Soon after he finished a system message popped up before us.  _ This guy has the ability to control the fucking system? Wasn’t it some kind of holy existence? Is it just that easy to manipulate? _

[Quest- First Demon Trial: Mega’s Game Board

Clear Conditions: Successfully reach the end of the game board without dying. 

Difficulty:  **S**

Time Limit: 2 hours

Compensation: Key to next trial

Failure: Death]

“Hey, that’s not enough information! It can’t be that easy, right?”

The man, Mega, rolled his eyes before hastily scribbling down more on his scroll.

[Rules-

1: Each player will get a turn to roll the dice and must move the corresponding number of steps. 

2: Each color has a different function when stepped on. Blue=safe, Red=go back # colors, Yellow=mystery tile with 50/50 odds which can give either something good or bad, Black=instant death

3: If two players land on the same tile monsters will continuously be summoned until one of the players leaves the tile or dies. The longer the players stay on the tile the stronger the monsters will become.

4: Players must roll the die within one minute of receiving it. 

5: Stopping at any tile except your specified tile is prohibited.

6: Violation of any of the rules will result in severe punishment and/or death depending on how Mega is feeling today.

7: Have fun!]

“Fun? What the fuck!” I screeched. A6d and Wilbur also seemed upset, which they have every right to.  _ Why the fuck did this bastard decide to have a board game in the fucking demon castle?! _

“What’s this about punishment? Since when did rules care about your feelings?”

Mega looked insulted but stayed quiet.

[The first demon trial will now begin]

A dice the size of a pillow appeared in my hands. It was an ordinary six sided die part from its size. I tossed it in my arms a couple times before chucking it across the room. A number that looked like it was made from the same fog as the dragon cave floated up in giant letters above the die.  _ 3 _

I looked over and saw that the third tile was blue.  _ Huzzah! _

Wilbur’s turn was next, and he rolled 5, which was also blue.

A6d was not as lucky and rolled a 6, which happened to be a yellow mystery tile.  _ Glad it’s not me! _

A6d cautiously made his way to the tile, and when he stepped on it nothing seemed to happen for a moment. He read a system message before speaking out loud.

“I have a… lucky diamond?” A6d said, confused, “Well, at least it’s not something bad.”

I got the dice again, and chucked it. The fog made a big number which seemed to be.... 6? I started to move forwards six steps, and realized what tile I had landed on.  _ Uh-oh.. _

I landed on the fucking yellow tile, and crossed my fingers. The system message popped up.

[Congratulations: You’ve won a very cool looking plastic crown!]

“It’s a ‘very cool looking plastic crown’,” I informed the others, and took out the crown. It indeed felt plastic and I added it to my inventory. Wil was about to throw the dice again before Mega wrote something on the scroll.

[Your stupid plastic crown is now cursed]

“For fuck’s sake!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> cameos:
> 
> MegaPVP: mod for skeppy’s server ‘invaded lands’ and often appears in his videos


	22. Stupid Fucking Board Game

After my plastic crown had been cursed to do who knows what, we continued playing the board game that could fucking kill us. 

None of us had landed on a black tile yet, though I was pretty sure I saw that A6d had rolled one but it could have just been a trick of the light, as it turned out to actually be blue tile. I wasn’t sure how long we had spent playing this dumb game, but hopefully it would be over soon.  _ I thought a demon castle is supposed to have, y’know, demons? Well, demons would not be very fun either, but this board game sucks.  _

There seemed to be an exit a few spaces away from me, and even closer to A6d. Wilbur was significantly behind us, having only rolled numbers from 1-3 and landed on numerous red tiles, while A6d and I had gotten higher numbers and mainly blue tiles. Mega seemed to be annoyed, since no one had landed on a black tile or had broken any rules yet. 

A6d rolled the dice, and received a five. He walked past the tiles in front of him, and walked onto a golden tile, which seemed to be the end of the board game.  _ Can we finally leave this fucking game? _

[A6d has beat Trial One! Congratulations!]

A6d was now holding a key, and a door appeared in the wall. He looked at the key in his hands before turning back to Wilbur and me.

“Should I go in?” He asked, raising his voice so Wilbur could hear him as well. 

“Go ahead!” Wilbur shouted, and A6d used the key to open the door. As he walked through, the door shut behind him and disappeared.

[Warning: 30 minutes until the quest expires]

“Uh oh,” I commented, and looked how far Wilbur was from the end.  _ Maybe he’ll roll a bunch of sixes and get lucky!  _

I rolled the dice, and got a three. Another blue tile. I was now three away from the exit, and watched as Wilbur rolled a six, which landed him on a red tile.  _ What the fuck is that luck? _

“You’ve got to be fucking kidding me!” He exclaimed, and went back the number of required tiles. 

I rolled the dice and got a six. Luckily, all I had to do was pass the golden tile so I was all good on completing the game.

[Tommy has beat Trial One! Congratulations!]

The door once again appeared in the wall. I unlocked it with the key, and stepped in.

The other side of the wall was as expected. Another part of the demon territory, except I seemed to be in a different part of the castle this time, as the walls were a different color. I turned to my side to see A6d leaning against a pillar and called out to him.

“A6d!”

“Oh, hey. Where’s Wilbur?” He asked, looking at the door. 

“He should come out in under thirty minutes,” I answered, “Probably.”

“We could walk around the castle and come back to see if he got through,” A6d suggested.  _ What if we get lost? What then? Ehhhh, we’ll be fine.  _

“Alright, we could probably do that,” I said, and we both continued down the hallway before encountering another two hallways, which seemed to have the same decorations as the hallway the door led to: a red carpet, and an occasional red potted plant. After walking through multiple hallways that all looked the same we decided to sit down, bored. 

“These plants look cool,” A6d remarked, and went over to one of the pots, which seemed to have vines going down the pot. 

“It’s probably a fucking demon summoner or some shit,” I said, and A6d walked away from the plant and seemed to open his inventory.

“Uh oh... It’s been around thirty minutes. We should probably be heading back,” he stated, and glanced at the nearby surroundings, “If we remember which way it was.”

“I remember! Y’know, Technoblade called me the Human GPS,” I bragged, and turned around and started walking down the hallway.

“Really?” A6d asked, “I kinda doubt that.”

“Why would you doubt that? I’m a trustworthy guy!” I exclaimed, turning the corner to where I was sure the door to Mega’s stupid game was, “Uh oh….”

“What is it?” A6d asked, looking down the same hallway. The hallway didn’t end in a wall, and instead continued with the same red carpet.  _ What the fuck?! I was sure this was the right way…  _

“This was supposed to be the fucking hallway to the door!” I exclaimed, and went over and kicked one of the red potted plants. 

“Truly the ‘Human GPS’,” A6d remarked, and looked down the hallway, “Let’s just hope we can find Wilbur.”

We quickened our walk, looking down the multiple hallways for any sign of the door or Wilbur. 

“We’re fucking lost!” I exclaimed after looking down another hallway with no recognizable features from the original hallway.  _ Are all these hallways the same?! How big is this place!? _

“That’s not good,” A6d added, “Wilbur is probably lost as well…”

Angry, I went over to another red plant and punched it. With that, the ground suddenly started shaking, causing multiple other plants to fall over. 

“A6d, what the fuck is going on?!” I asked, looking around for some sign of whatever was shaking the floor.  _ Is there an earthquake? Do those even exist here?! _

“I have no clu-”

A6d was interrupted by a loud roar, which seemed to come from behind me.  _ Oh fuck.  _

I slowly turned around to see a giant set of armor that seemed to be barely touching the tall ceilings. It held a giant axe, and it seemed to have glowing red eyes hidden behind a helmet. 

It turned its head to stare at me, and raised its axe. I barely had time to react before it came towards me, a bright shiny metal which could probably cut me in half. 

A6d barreled into me, getting me out of the way of the giant axe.  _ WHAT THE FUCK. _

A6d took out his sword and drank a potion, and ran over in front of the giant. I also equipped my armor, and stood watching A6d distract the giant. 

He seemed to leap higher, and started using a bow to shoot at the giant. It held the axe again, this time aiming for A6d.

“What should I do?” I shouted to A6d, who seemed to be jumping around avoiding the giant’s axe and shooting occasional arrows at it.

“Avoid getting hit!” He shouted back, and shot an arrow right at the giant’s eyes.  _ Well now he’s taking all of the credit.  _ I ran away from the giant’s boots to barely avoid getting squashed, watching multiple plants being stepped on.  _ Maybe he can do the fighting right now... _

***THUNK***

The axe was thrown into the wall, causing a ton of bricks to fall out and rain on the ground. I took out my shield, protecting myself from falling debris and bricks.  _ This shield better hold.  _

I watched A6d still jump around the giant, now too focused to shoot arrows. He seemed to be way more agile than back at the dragon fight, avoiding close shaves of the axe while trying to hit the giant with his arrows. 

“How do we defeat it?” I asked, clearing my shield of all the shrapnel. 

“I have no idea! I’m just trying to stab it,” A6d replied, and let loose another arrow.  _ What a great solution.  _

“Could we try burying it using the castle?” I suggested, and A6d came over to where I was standing. 

“I do have some condensed explosion magic,” A6d stated, and pulled out a familiar looking grenade,  _ oh! Ty had those too!  _ A6d turned to me and asked, “Where should I throw them?”

“Maybe above it’s head at the ceiling, y’know, which could bury it from the top,” I answered as we both ran to the side to avoid getting chopped in half.  _ Wouldn’t it be obvious?  _

“Alright,” A6d said, “You should probably get a safe distance away unless you want to get buried with the giant.”

I watched A6d go back to confront the giant, and ran down the hallway. The floor shook as I heard explosions, which I noticed caused dust to rain down from the ceiling. 

While covering my ears, I saw A6d throw another grenade on top of the giant.  _ How did A6d get so many fire magic grenades? I feel like Wilbur has some explaining to do.. _

I noticed a giant dust cloud engulf the hallway, with A6d coughing and quickly walking towards me. 

“We should get out of here before something else starts to attack us,” he stated, and we both got out of the dusty hallway to a different one. 

“Where the fuck did the giant come from?” I asked, leaning against the wall. A6d seemed to be way more injured than me, most likely since he was the one doing the fighting. He drank (what I assumed to be) a health potion, which got rid of some of the scratches he had.

“I don’t know. Let’s just hope Wilbur wasn’t on the other side of that hallway.”

Before we could ponder any further, a system message popped up in front of us again.

[The death of the giant has successfully activated the Second Demon Trial!]

[Teleporting to “Game Arena”]

We didn’t have time to look for Wilbur before getting teleported into the next trial. Looking around, we seemed to be trapped in a large black box made of who knows what. Inside was a mess, lava was pouring out of every wall and even from the floor, random patches of earth were floating in the air. There were even some random trees sprouting out of the ground, looking unbothered and totally out of place.

Also, there wasn’t anyone there. There was no “Mega” floating in the air to greet us, or any living being—demon or human.

“Where the fuck is everyone!?”

[The Second Demon Trial: A ◼️◼️◼️ Ch◼️ is currently undergoing maintenance. We sincerely apologize for the inconvenience.]

_ Well what the fuck are we supposed to do then? _


	23. The Second Trial (?)

“Well, this is messy,” A6d commented, looking at the random floating pieces of earth and seemingly random lava waterfalls embedded in the wall.

“No kidding. One wrong move and you could just burn to death,” I added, looking around the new area, “Is there an exit somewhere?”

“It.... doesn’t look like it,” A6d commented, then proceeded to curse quietly in french.  _ This is not fucking good.  _

The floating islands seemed to gather around a big middle island which A6d and I had landed on, and seemed like it would probably be used for a boss battle.  _ Maybe it’s good that this trial is “undergoing maintenance”. _

“How the fuck does a trial at the DEMON CASTLE undergo maintenance?! It’s the fucking demon castle!!” I exclaimed.  _ What the fuck?! This isn’t some kind of theme park or something! This is supposed to have evil powerful creatures! Not some shitty broken down trial. _

“I have no clue… maybe we just wait for it to be fixed?” A6d suggested, walking around the big chunk of land. 

“The longer we have to wait the more lost Wilbur will probably be, which could end up in death and one less person to help defeat the demon king,” I commented, hoping for some sort of message from the system to pop up revealing that there was in fact another living creature watching us.

「 _ cough, cough, _ oh! Ahem, sorry for the wait 」

Some kind of ambient voice seemed to come from everywhere, yet whoever the speaker was remained unknown. 

「 It seems the… uh, participant for this challenge is already… dead 」

「 So, now I have no idea what to do… give me a minute 」

“Who the fuck are you?” I asked politely, as this could not be Mega, since Mega hadn’t spoken at all in the board game trial and instead wrote some things down on a scroll. 

「 Fi- wait, no. You’re trying to invade this castle, why would I tell you my name? 」

「 What do you- Oh, excuse me for a second. 」

The guy who was doing the ambient voice seemed to be arguing with someone else, which I did not know if we were meant to hear. I looked and A6d and he shrugged. 

「 Fine! Oh, oops. I left it o- 」

As the ambient voice maker demon thing was cut off, a bridge appeared which connected the main island to a now visible exit out of the giant black box.

“That was easy,” A6d said, and we both walked on the bridge and out the exit, which led to a whole different part of the castle. This part looked significantly more  _ old.  _

The walls had some kind of weird red vines seeping out of them, and what I swore could have been a three headed rat. There was no carpet, just some kind of dark wood planks.

“Shouldn’t the demon castle look… nice? The first part seemed ok, but now it’s ugly,” I observed. 

“Well we got past the second trial pretty easily,” A6d commented, ignoring my observation, and then the ambient voice started up again.  _ Now that I think about it, the system didn’t give me a “you passed this trial!” message like bef- _

「 Since our second trial is undergoing maintenance we’ll just throw a bunch of hellhounds on you and call it a day. 」

「Have fun!」 

The sounds of barking filled the halls, followed by the sight of a  _ lot  _ of larger than average wolves, each having glowing red eyes and what looked like smoke coming out of their mouth.

“Fuck! We gotta run!” I exclaimed, and we both started to sprint down the hallway away from the horde of hellhounds.

Either the castle was way too old, or the hounds were really strong because the walls around us were starting to crumble.  _ Shit! We can’t use the bombs or we’ll be crushed… _

I turned my head back to look for a quick second and saw six—maybe eight hellhounds running towards us. 

I looked at A6d, who was currently behind me keeping the hounds a distance away.  _ All we can do is run and keep them away from us.  _

“We gotta hide!” I shouted and A6d nodded. 

We kept running for what seemed like forever before turning to a new hallway which had a bunch of beat down wooden doors. Only a few of them didn’t have holes in them at all, but looked shabby. There was one door at the end of the hall which looked fully intact, like an entrance to some kind of fancy place.

Both of us saw it and bolted over. I felt as if my lungs were on fire.

[Level Up in Speed- Level 3]

[Level Up in Stamina- Level 3]

At least my stats leveled up. That’s the only good thing that’s come out of this hell hole so far.

A6d was faster than me so he got there first, pulling the door open, I arrived a few seconds later and he slammed it with a mighty bam. I slumped up against the wall and closed my eyes.

My head was throbbing and I could hear my own heartbeat loud and clear. A6d had much better stamina than me and came to his senses quickly, barricading the door with some chairs around the room.  _ That was a fucking workout. _

After taking a few moments to recover, I opened my eyes and was blinded for a few moments by the light. When my sight was restored I saw A6d sitting next to me, seeing that I recovered he handed me a stamina recovery potion.

I took the potion and started to drink it. 

“Chug! Chug! Chug! Chug!” someone who was very much  _ not  _ A6d started to chant.  _ Who the fuck?! _

I looked over to see a table in the middle of the room, on a chair next to it was a pretty woman and some kind of pug beastman wearing a blue onesie.  _ Why the fuck are they here just chilling? Why did I have to suffer? _

On the table there were a bunch of cluttered items and (what looked like) drawings of some random blue guy, and a….microphone?

“What the fuck is all this?” I couldn’t help sputtering.

The woman gave a half hearted chuckle before speaking, “You weren’t supposed to see this, but welcome anyways.”

“What do you mean by that?” I asked, even more confused now.

“Well, this is a room that is only accessible if you permitted access. I don’t have a clue on how you guys were able to enter,” the woman looked warily at A6d.  _ That is pretty weird then...thanks for the help lady.  _

…

…

... _ Lady? _

That’s a woman! And I’m speaking to her normally. Did my charisma skill level up without me noticing? I hurriedly checked my stats.

-

[Tommy Innit- Level  **5**

Stats:

Strength- Level **6**

Charisma- Level **0**

Agility- Level  **4**

Speed- Level  **3**

Teamwork- Level **3**

Stamina: Level **3**

Special Skill: Advanced Senses- All 5 senses are enhanced

(Click  **here** to see other skills)

Experience needed until next level:  **400** ]

-

Nope. Still a zero in charisma. How the fuck can I talk to woman then? Unless...

“Wait a second. Do you have a dick?” I blurted out before I could stop myself. Everyone in the room turned and looked at me.

The lady(?) laughed and said, “Yeah, you got me. I’m a guy. Finn, the other one is Vurb.”

Like the genius I am, I was correct once again. “I’m Tommy, that’s A6d,” I said in triumph.  _ These guys are pretty nice! How’d they get in here though? _

I stood up and sat myself down on the last chair around the table since A6d used the rest to barricade the door.

I started the conversation again, “Are you guys here for the demon king trial stuff too?”

“You could say that.”

“What do you mean by that?” I asked, confused.

Vurb, the pug beastman, decided to be the one to speak here, “We’re the co-operators of the second trial, we don’t have enough mana to manage it anymore so the main operator is off on business to fix the problem.”  _ What do you mean by ‘fix’? How do you even get mana?  _

A6d seemed to have different thoughts than me as be said, “If you’re the co-operators and your boss is out of town, does that mean you’re the ones who threw those hellhounds onto us?”  _ He’s right! They’re not very nice after all! Fuck ‘em. _

They gestured to the microphone on the table.  _ So that’s where the ambient noise came from. _

“That was us! Oh yeah, you gotta deal with them soon.”

_ What. _

“What do you mean?” I asked, A6d seemed to have noticed what they meant and was in his own little world.

“The hounds were a replacement for the Second Trial, so if you don’t beat the hounds you don’t beat the trial.” Vurb said with a pug smile.  _ Son of a- _

“Bye!” Finn exclaimed, and both he and Vurb disappeared.  _ Oh fuck. Of course they’re demons. _

A6d and I turned around to see the doors were now riddled with holes, exactly like the other doors we had passed while trying to get away from the hounds. 

“Get ready,” A6d stated, and we watched the door proceed to get beaten up by hellhounds.

_ I wonder if Vurb is related to them...since he’s a dog too. Does saying this make me racist? _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> cameos:
> 
> F1NN5tER: finn’s here pog! crossdresses on stream a lot
> 
> JustVurb: his profile picture is a pug, is friends with finn 


	24. Stupid Fucking Demon Bastards

The doors burst open as the hellhounds finally destroyed it, scattering pieces of rubble around the room. 

“Alright, let’s hope this works,” A6d said, and began slashing through the hellhounds with his sword. Although not causing deep wounds in the dogs, it seemed to get most of the hounds fixated on him.

I scooted against the wall, avoiding catching the hounds’ attention. A6d seemed to be doing fine, avoiding the dogs’ teeth while causing minimal amounts of damage to them.  _ This better fucking work. _

I made it to the place where the doors used to be, and considered just dipping A6d to fight these guys.  _ Nahhhh. _

“Oi! Bitches! Shouldn’t you be playing fetch? Why not go run back to your owner?!” I shouted, causing the hounds to turn around to look at me. They snarled at me, and, like the big man I am, I turned and sprinted out of the room. 

The fucking hellhounds seemed more enraged than before, though I doubt they could actually underst-  _ oh shit, this is a fantasy world. _

“You better hurry before I get torn to shreds!” I exclaimed, shouting to A6d, who was supposedly behind me. The hallway seemed to stay the same as I was running past, broken doors and crumbling walls.  _ Fuck! Do I have any potions left over? _

I checked my inventory and saw that I had no more speed potions left.  _ Strength potions could be useful… _

The hallway hadn’t changed at all since we had left the dog and the not-woman, so of course it wouldn’t suddenly change when I get an idea!

_ Pleasdontjinxitpleasedontjinxit- _

Another corner was coming and I got ready. The strength potion would last more than enough for me to smash a nearby pillar (and hopefully not bury myself alive) and use the remaining strength to kill the hounds that didn’t get crushed by the falling pillar.

I took out my sword and drank the potion, hopefully A6d would be able to suddenly read my mind or understand my plan through plain observation.  _ He seems like an intelligent man.  _

I made a smashing motion towards the pillar, hoped A6d saw it, and rammed myself towards the pillar. 

_ *Crash* _

“Fuck!” I exclaimed, as drinking the strength potion had not stopped the sudden pain from ramming into a pillar with a sword. The pillar, as I expected, started to crumble along with some of the ceiling and the walls. The hounds started to panic, and started running around while big pieces of rubble fell onto them. 

I half ran/wobbled out of the way of the rubble, stabbing as many hellhounds as I could with the sword and pushing them towards falling rubble. I noticed that A6d was also helping eliminate the hounds while avoiding the debris and clouds of dust. 

“How many more?” A6d asked, glancing at the disappearing hellhound corpses around the place.  _ That dude is fucking skilled at killing these hellhounds. _

“Don’t know, but those fucking bitc- OW! This fucking hurts,” I exclaimed, almost falling over. I opened my inventory and grabbed a health potion, and chugged it. I saw some of the bruises heal, and overall felt a bunch better.  _ Thank this universe for having magic mystery health potions.  _

[A6d and Tommyinnit have beat Trial Two! Congratulations!]

“Hooray!” A6d proclaimed, also drinking a health potion, “Now what?”

[The death of the hellhounds has activated the door to Trial Three! Good luck, I guess. LMAO WAIT I CAN EDIT TH-]

“Uh… that last part didn’t seem like the ‘system’,” A6d observed, and I nodded.  _ The system doesn’t seem like the kind of thing to use “LMAO”.  _

“So, where’s the fucking door?” I asked, looking around at the ruined hallway. There were still broken doors on the side, but no fancy looking door or just a door of light. 

「Oops! Uh, give me a second. Hey, could you fix thi-」 

“These demons are shit at their job,” I declared, and after a few boring minutes, a big door appeared on the wall.  _ Let’s get this over with.  _

A6d and I walked through the big doors, which easily opened to reveal… a big open field with some scattered walls and things to hide behind, which seemed to be “outside”. The sky wasn’t the only.. Uh, questionable things in the new room. There also seemed to be a bunch of tall creatures, which had white glowing eyes, pure black skin, and long claws on the end of their hands.  _ These monsters seem vaguely familiar… Haven’t I seen something like these guys before? _

[Welcome to the Third Trial! You get to cross this field to the other side  **without** angering any of these creatures. I guess you could, but then you would be dead...]

“Wait, what the fuck? What kind of creatures are these?” I asked A6d, who glanced at the monsters before dashing behind one of the walls. A strange ambient sound started going on, like some kind of weird screaming. A6d motioned for me to hide behind the walls, and I dashed over.

  
The noise stopped almost immediately the second I got behind the wall.

“A6d, what the fuck just happened?” I exclaimed, now very scared.  _ That fucking monster caused some kind of creepy noise. I don’t want to live through a fucking horror game here!! _

“These… creatures attack depending on if you looked at them or not. They are very fast, and those claws can basically impale anything… Yeah, this doesn’t look good,” A6d explained, and glanced over the wall, “This is the third trial..? Uh-oh.”

“So, could we just run while looking down? Would that work?” I asked, and A6d made a “hmmm”. 

“Possibly, though I doubt you could keep your head down for that long,” A6d remarked, “Surely there must be an easier way to complete the trial..”

“Why don’t we just kill the fuckers?” I asked, “They’re monsters, so they can obviously be killed right?”

“When you kill one, you get this really disorentating sound that could cause you to be killed by the others. Basically this whole field is filled with these beasts, killing is out of the question.”

“Fucking hell! This is bullshit! This trial is basically designed for us to die!”

“Yeah… that’s kinda the point of the demon castle.”

“Oh fuck off! Urghghghgh,” I grumbled, “Could we run to that other piece of wall? Would that make sense in completing this fucking stupid bullshit trial?”

I pointed towards another piece of wall extruding out of the ground, and A6d nodded.    
  


“Alright, let’s get this fucking over with…”

“Three,”

“Two,”

“One…”

A6d and I both sprinted towards the wall while consecutively glancing up and down to not run into one of the creatures, but not anger them either.  _ Aaaaaaaaaaand… YES! _

“Fuck yea! First wall completed!” I exclaimed, and punched towards the sky in celebration. 

“Only… like, a bunch left,” A6d stated, “This field seems to have expa- be very long.”

“I don’t want to do thisssss… I didn’t sign up for a boring stealth trial.” 

“You didn’t really sign up in the first place, did you? I mean, you, Wilbur, and I were just brought into this whole trial thing. How many trials are there anyways?” 

「Be careful what you wish for… 」 

“Uh-ohh…,” I stated, responding to the ominous message that either Finn or Vurb had declared. A6d gave me a look before glancing at the nearby surroundings. 

“Uh-oh indeed,” A6d remarked, “Now the structures are sinking into the ground! Look down, and under no circumstances look up. This has now become a whole lot harder.”

“This isn’t what I meant! These stupid fucking demon bastards are manipulating the game so that I lose!” I shouted angrily, and heard some ambient snickering from acclaimed stupid fucking demon bastards.

“Alright, Tommy, just follow me. We have to be careful,” A6d stated, and started moving forwards. I followed closely behind, jumping a bit when these creatures just randomly placed a lump of dirt or sand in our path.

「Aww… this is still stealth, is it not?」 

「You should look up! There’s a special surprise!」 

“Do you think I’m a fucking idiot?” I shouted, still avoiding the gaze of the lanky beasts.  _ I’m one of the smartest people I know! _

「Yes」 

“What the fuck!?” 

「I mean, you came  **here** , to a demon castle.」 

「Yea lmao, who in their right mind would go here?」 

“I have to defeat the demon king!” I proclaimed, “I’ve got a quest that I need to fulfill!”  _ Also, who says “lmao” out loud? _

「Yea, sure, just like all the other “heros” that had a quest to complete.」 

「Except that one guy… didn’t he just come in to prove that he could?」 

「Oh yeah, that was funny.」 

The demons seemed to be having a stupid conversation while also using the ambient voice modifier magic thing.  _ We better be close to this exit before I go mad.  _

I glanced upwards at A6d for a split second, who seemed to be doing just fine staring at the ground while traveling forward. I looked back at the ground afterwards to see-

_ FUCK.  _

I tripped over a significantly high dirt mound, face-planting right into the grass. 

“A6d… I might have fallen,” I declared,slowly moved upwards, and stood up. In the short time that I was staring upwards, I seemed to come into eye contact with a specific creature.    
  


Namely the one we had been avoiding this entire Trial.

_ Uh-oh.  _


	25. Did I fucking do it?

A deafening sound filled my ears as I stared straight at the dark creature eyes. My body froze up as the creature slowly opened their mouth, which seemed to be screaming. 

“Tommy!” 

A6d dashed towards me and held up his shield to block the creature, who had teleported right next to me.

I heard the creature screech as A6d slashed it with his sword, and A6d grabbed my arm. 

“Come on! We gotta get out of here!” A6d said, and I snapped out of the weird trance to start running.

The creatures had definitely noticed us by now, as more of the sounds filled my ears.  _ Of course the fucking beasts can teleport. _

Both of us continued to dodge through the now worrying amount of beasts, barely avoiding their claws as they tried to injure us.

“For fuck’s sake! How far away is this dickhead of a door?!” I remarked, as running across a field avoiding creatures that can kill me really encourages me to find the fucking exit. 

「As far away as we choose.」 

The ambient voice pussies then laughed while we were stuck running away from creatures that  _ really  _ seemed to hate us.

“We need to get out of here before one of us dies,” A6d stated, stabbing another beast in the chest, “Here. You should run to the door first, and I’ll follow.”

A6d handed me a similar looking speed potion to the one from earlier. I drank the potion and started sprinting towards the door, while A6d held the creature’s attention.

Avoiding the creatures proved to be easy if they weren’t focused on me specifically, though they scared the shit out of me when I caught a glance of one rushing past towards A6d. 

“I made it!” I shouted to A6d, and opened the door. Thankfully, the door opened without any problem or secret locks. “Should I go through?”   
  


“Go ahead!” A6d shouted back, and started making his way towards the door as fast as he could while battling a bunch of tall creatures. 

I entered through the door and was greeted with:

[Tommy has beat Trial Three! Congratulations!]

[Now, on to the demon king… Wait, how did bitch boy complete that?!]

“Bitch boy?! Talk for yourself, fucker!” I exclaimed loudly, annoyed by how they seemed to alternate between using the system and the ambient noise to talk. I looked at the new surroundings. It was like an entrance hall for a fucking castle, and-

[Plastic Crown’s curse has now activated due to the completion of the Third Trial.]

[lmao good luck hah ur screwed]

_ What the fuck. _ Seeing the message appear before me I clawed at my head, trying to pry the crown off to no avail.  _ Is this the curse? A stupid plastic crown glued to my head forever? _

Perhaps what  _ they _ meant by ‘screwed’ was the fact that I wouldn’t be able to stop having women screw me. Yeah…

I waited expantanly for A6d to come out of the door, but he seemed to be taking his sweet time.  _ I’m sure everything is going fine in there… besides, I have lots of women waiting for me after I kill this demon king bloke.  _

Would that apply to demons too then? Thinking back to the demons I had met so far I shivered, walking into a hallway which seemed to lead to the entrance of a throne room.  _ Gee, I wonder what’s in there _ .  _ Perhaps there's a bunch of hot demon babes waiting for me to defeat the demon king and ascend the throne.  _

Without even opening the door, I could feel a menacing aura coming out of the room.  _ Probably because of my low charisma skill, there are too many women in there. _

I smirked and bust open the door. Well, I tried to. The doors seemed to be heavy, which prevented me from having a super cool entrance. 

Instead, I slowly pushed open the door to reveal

.

..

…

An environment similar to the cube thingy from earlier was what awaited me. Though, to give it credit, instead of lava at the bottom there was a bottomless pit (or I assumed it to be bottomless, there would be only one way to find out…). 

I was standing on a small floating island in the middle(?) of it all, the door back out wasn’t attached to a wall, and simply sat there waiting for me to retreat.

“So, where are the women?” I declared, ready to take over the throne.

My voice echoed throughout the big room. Where was I? The door behind me was still there but I seemed to be in a completely universe, let alone world or room. If I squinted I could see a small floating island far off from where I was standing, the path to get over to said island was made of floating blocks and debris—barely big enough for me to stand on.  _ Is that safe to stand on? I might be too heavy, I’m a growing boy after all. _

“Oh! You’re here!” An unfamiliar voice sounded out from who knows where.  _ Who? So, who’s the fucking demon king? Big reveal? Big reveal Pog? _

A guy appeared floating in the air, who looked odd. He had some kind of blue cardboard box on his head with two dot eyes and a dopey grin scribbled on it, with fancy blue noble attire. There also seemed to be floating blue shards surrounding him.  _ That mask may possibly be even more low effort than Dream’s. _

“Who the fuck are you?!” I exclaimed at the cardboard box man, who laughed. 

“Well, I’m the Demon King! Welcome to Invaded Lands!”

Invaded Lands? Ded land?  _ Inva _ **_ded Land_ ** _ s? _

“You guys need to touch up the paint job on the sign back there if you want people to know this place,” I commented, and the demon king shrugged. 

“Whatever. This is a demon castle, and people aren’t meant to come here! Except you, others are supposed to die, like, wayyyy earlier anyways,” cardboard box man commented, floating around the island.  _ Why me? _

“Instead of dying I got a fucking stupid ass crown,” I said, trying and once again failing to take it off.  _ Who thought this was a great curse?  _

“Language! You’re here to save the world as the mighty hero! Act like it!” Another voice was heard from somewhere else in the room. “You too Skeppy! You’re supposed to be the big bad demon king!”

A figure appeared from a portal and floated in front of me, majestically bowing in midair. He was wearing a black cape with red lining that nearly covered his entire face, leaving only his glowing white eyes visible.  _ Sounds kinda familiar... _

“His majesty Demon King Skeppy’s official demon advisor, Bad Boy Halo, at your service” His name sounded awfully familiar. Like I had seen him before… it had been too many chapters since my journey began and my memory was hazy.  _ He probably wasn’t important anyways…  _

“Oh yeah, I’m Demon King Skeppy by the way. Forgot about that part” the blue guy said.  _ I wonder if he has one eye like the other blue guy. Nah, his skin probably isn’t blue. _

Perhaps I had been squinting at the other guy for too long because he began to talk again. 

“I’m also the muffin shop owner back in First Town.”

First Town? Muffin shop? It slowly came back to me. 

“Why the fuck do you own a muffin shop?” I questioned. To spy on First Town?

The demon advisor huffed before responding, “I like muffins. And it’s also to keep the treasury full.”

His logic made sense, kinda, but couldn’t he just do quests instead? Demon had to be good at killing right? Then again, a lot of quests I had seen included killing demons. Also, I don’t know if people would like a fucking demon completing their quest. 

“Sooo… How do I kill you?” I asked.  _ A very serious question.  _

“Make it to that island! Which you probably won’t, because you will die!” Skeppy declared, but in such a tone that it didn’t come off as threatening. He pointed to the island in the distance.  _ Why the fuck are you telling me this? We should be having some kind of epic battle but you want me to do parkour! Well, agility is one of my highest stats… Nevermind, this is fine.  _

“Yeah, that’s how it always ends! Hero beats the villain, and- oh, wait, oops,” the demon advisor said, “I’m sure both of you will do fine!” 

“You gotta make it to the island first,” Skeppy added, and one of the little diamond things hit me, almost causing certain death. I made the first jump towards a piece of floating land.  _ Final confrontation! Can’t fail now.  _

“To be honest, I thought we had way more time to prepare,” the adviser remarked, “I didn’t expect for you to come this fast…”

“Yeah, you have the certain feeling of… not belonging here. Bad told me about it when he first spotted you, so I told him to investigate you more.” Investigate me more? What about privacy?  _ Then again, at the time I was probably with Ty going to Second Town, oh yeah. I had to do that stupid wheel quest when that weird- _

Weird darkness watching me appeared. Oh. So the muffin guy was the reason why that quest was such a pain. 

Annoyed by my sudden realization, I said, “So, you get anything out of that stalking experience?”

“Nope, he didn’t. But seeing you up close you remind me of my old friend—“ the demon king started talking before he was rudely interrupted by another figure coming through the door.  _ Who the fuck? Is A6d finally here to save me? _

Seeing the figure he seemed to get excited. Throwing away the previous topic he turned to the figure with his arms wide, looking livelier than before.

“A6d! Took you long enough, get over here so I can give you a high five!”

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> cameos:
> 
> Skeppy: owner of Invaded Lands Minecraft server, does a lot of his videos on there
> 
> BadBoyHalo: is often in skeppy’s videos. has his own channel and Minecraft server as well.
> 
> wilbur really just went *poof* will be explained though


	26. Confrontation.

“A6d? Huh? Weren’t you my teammate? Along with Wilbur—what happened to Wilbur by the way?” I asked, very confused on how the fucking _Demon King_ had greeted A6d.

“Wilbur? I’m pretty sure that guy died. They're so many lost souls wandering around here I can’t even tell,” the demon king replied, floating back over to me. _Uh-oh. That’s not good… next time I’m roaming around the castle I have to keep an eye out for him then. Maybe there’s some kind of revival skill._

“Oh… Anyways, A6d, fucking explain yourself!” I shouted at him. _Is this fucker a demon?! You’ve got to be kidding me._

“Uh… I’m a demon?” A6d said, and slowly took off part of the bandana on his face to reveal that his eyes were a pale color and emitted a faint glow, similar to the demon adviser’s eyes. _FUCK! I was right._

“So you’re a fucking french speaking demon then?” 

“What do you mean?” A6d asked, confused.

“My skill is enhanced senses! I hear you talking in French under your breath all the goddamn time!” I exclaimed.

“You heard that?” A6d chuckled before continuing, “No, that’s the demon language. It’s my native language, not ‘French’, whatever that is.” He even did finger quotes when he said French, mocking me.

“What the fuck?!” 

“How is it possible that you mistook the demon language for French?” Skeppy stated in between his laughs, “You truly are an intellectual, totally fit for your role.”

“Shut up dumbass!” I said, and jumped towards another floating piece of land. _I’m going to kill this fucker._

“Well, if I’m not needed, I’ll see you guys later. Maybe,” A6d said, tying his bandana back around his eyes and disappeared. _What a dickhead._

“Hey! I never got that high five I wanted!” Skeppy complained, and sighed, “I’ll get it later…”

“You won’t because I’m going to kill you!” I proclaimed, and jumped onto another floating part of the floor, almost missing it entirely and falling to my doom. 

“You won’t even reach the island before you fall off!” Skeppy said, and snapped his fingers. I looked behind me and the floating pieces of land leading back to where I had entered were gone. _Can’t go back now. This would have been so much easier if I had more agility potions from Wilbur or A6d, I miss those guys. Why the fuck did A6d have to turn out to be a demon?_

“Where did A6d go, anyways?” I asked, jumping for another piece of land.

“Probably fixing the second trial, since the boss got killed outside of the zone. Don’t know how that happened, though,” the adviser answered. _Was the boss that giant suit of armor? Why would A6d kill it though, if he was secretly a demon that works here?_

“Yeah, you guys pretty much broke the second trial,” Skeppy added, “A6d’s going to have to resummon that dude again, RIP his mana.”

“Don’t demons just regenerate mana over time, like those magic class people?” I asked. _Demons seem super fucking overpowered, I bet they do._

“Nope! We steal mana from other lifeforms, mana comes from living things and since everything in the demon territory isn’t exactly “alive'', we have to get it from outside sources,” Skeppy answered, “Didn’t we send A6d to go get that mana in the mountain somewhere?”

“A mountain? Like the dragon- _That dickhead_ .” _That’s how he got his claws on the posters...he was after the mana from the start!_

“What did he do?” the adviser asked, after mumbling _‘language’_ under his breath.

“He fucking risked destroying Third Town!” I exclaimed, “Nearly got a lot of people killed!”

“Welllll, you were there to defeat the dragon!” Skeppy stated. _I didn’t really “defeat” it, it just disappeared somehow with my second skill._

“Barely,” I remarked, and jumped to another floating island. _How fucking long is this going to take?_

“Who’d you come here with? Didn’t you mention someone else besides A6d?” Skeppy asked, and shot one of the diamonds floating around him at the floating land I was standing on. I jumped to the next one almost immediately, cursing at the guy wearing a cardboard box. 

“Yeah, Wilbur. He had really bad luck with the dice in the first trial… and I guess he died there? That’s not cool,” I said. _We only spent a couple days together but he was pretty nice. He also gave us potions and stuff._

“People are not meant to survive here, anyways! Almost everyone ends up dying,” Skeppy said, and another rock thing came hurling towards me.

So far I had gotten about a third or fourth of the way to the throne island. Surprisingly enough, the demon king and advisor simply chatted with me and occasionally launched one of those fucking diamond rock things towards me at remarkable speeds. 

I don’t know how long it had been, but I was soon over halfway done. The jumps to the next rocks had gotten significantly harder, being further and further apart.

Some of the places were a little bigger than others, having short trees which I had to cut down (with my fucking sword) to get to the next floating part, as it was significantly further away. Using the trees as bridges took a bunch of time as well, even though I was stronger than I was when I first appeared in the fantasy world I couldn’t just pluck a tree out of the ground.

[Level up in Deforestation- Level 3!]

_I’m nowhere near a fucking forest! I guess one tree per rock is considered a forest now. Also, there is the problem of “deforestation” being a skill. Is there a skill for burning shit as well?_

“When are we going to actually start fighting or some shit? My arms are starting to hurt,” I complained to the demons, who continued to watch me while chattering on about who knows what in a mixture of demon language and English. From what I could understand I heard ‘weak’ and some other things. _These fuckers want me to hear what they’re saying._

“We’ll fight once you get to the island so you won’t be at a disadvantage, since, y’know, you can’t fly,” the demon king replied. _You calling me weak again?_

Although he said that I noticed that the distance between me and the island had significantly decreased as well, I guess he was getting bored.

“Skeppy, you’re supposed to make it challenging for the hero. You’re basically asking him to slaughter you, why are you making it so easy for him?” The advisor said. His words made sense. _Why the fuck is this so easy? He could have just launched me into the abyss to get the whole ‘hero’ thing over with._

On the topic of demon kings and heroes I thought back to what Schlatt had told me back in Third Town.

The hero and his party would venture out into demon territory in order to save humanity from the evil demons, sacrificing themselves in the process. That’s how it always had been. _Was there some kind of script I didn’t get? How did it go the same way every damn time? Were the heros and demon kings just that incompetent?_

“...don’t know. It’s like some kind of force is telling me that I have to fight him no matter what. It’s weird, last time someone like him..” I was brought back to my thoughts just in time to hear the demon king speak. 

So from what I could tell, something was just telling him to fight me. What was it? The system? Perhaps it was the same thing that had brought me to this world in the first place. That would make sense, thinking back to the whole ‘Slay the demon king!’ “impossible” quest I got.

“It’s still strange, he looks a little young.” _What? Is there some kind of job application for being a hero I didn’t fill out?_

_When you mean young, did you mean I could have taken a longer time to train?_

“Whatever. He’s here now, let’s fight!” Huh?

I guess I was in ‘the zone’ or something, because I had reached the end without noticing. 

On the island there was a singular throne in the middle, surrounded with what looked like mana. The mana here was different though. It was dark, and had a menacing aura. 

Skeppy had also appeared on the throne while I had my head turned and was now sitting on it in a kingly fashion. _Asshole._

-

System Notice:

Congratulations hero! Through numerous trials and hardships you and your companions have faced, you all have finally made it to the demon king. The bonds you have made throughout this journey irreplaceable, the last step to finally achieving your goal is about to begin! Go, hero, go and dethrone the wretched demon king!

-

_Is that an auto generated system message? What ‘companions’ are you talking about? Schlatt? Wilbur? A6d? Was I supposed to make more friends? Ehh, fuck that._

“What kind of message is this? What does it mean ‘try my best’? I wouldn’t have become the demon king if I wasn’t already the best!” Skeppy remarked, obviously irritated by what I assumed to be a message similar to the one I had just gotten.

“The best demon, right? Well, _I’m_ way more superior than you are, so I’ll beat your ass and get the hot demon babes!”

“What hot demon babes? You talkin’ bout Bad over there?”

“What’d you call me Skeppy? You’re supposed to be the ‘mighty’ demon king!” The advisor yelled from somewhere else from within the room. For some reason he didn’t seem to want to do any fighting. Unless he was using ranged magic.

I took the opportunity to find an opening and try to hit the demon king, running towards him with my sword brandished. But before I could hit him the strange floating jewels surrounding him blocked my attack pushing me back. Some of the shards would have stuck to my skin if it weren’t for the armor I had gotten from Grian.

Looking at my inventory, I had only two health potions and a strength potion left. Despite the demon king _oh so benevolently_ waiting until the island to begin fighting I was still in a major disadvantage. Two people (three if you counted A6d, and five if you counted the other demons weirdos I had encountered) against one were not very favorable odds. _Did the past demon kings also have a group of buddies to beat up the hero with?_

It would have been better if we actually stuck together, perhaps I should’ve made more reliable companions. I coughed.

“You really thought it would be that easy to get a hit on me, bitch boy?” Skeppy said, and smirked. 

“Bitch boy, eh?” I was starting to get more riled up now, but no matter what I tried I couldn’t get a hit on him thanks to his fucking agility. Though, he didn’t really seem to be taking the whole fight seriously, not yet attacking me directly. 

“Skeppy, can you please take this seriously? Here, lemme show you what you should do.” I guess the advisor was getting fed up with the demon lord’s shit as well, and starting to fly towards me, readying some kind of spell. _Uh-oh._

Thanks to my incredibly quick thinking I was able to block the spell and his fist with my sword. _Jesus Christ Wilbur, how strong is this sword?_

It seemed to surprise the advisor as well, as he recoiled. Skeppy had watched the exchange and was actually preparing to go on the offensive, his shards coming together to form a jagged sword. With the shards coming together there weren’t any surrounding him anymore, getting rid of his protective barrier. _I could get hits in now! He can get hits in too!_

I once again recalled that I had a strength potion and quickly gulped it down. _Let’s get this party started! Big drama ahead!_

“Get ready to perish, bitch!” I said, and Skeppy and I ran towards one another, our swords clashing as we met in the middle of the floating island. A shockwave shook the island as our swords met, causing some of the ground to launch into the stratosphere—or wherever the place we were in. _I thought this stuff only happened in anime!_

I started going on the offensive, trying to stab him or catch him off guard, but to little avail. He managed to block basically every strike, while trying to lure me closer to the edge of the floating island. His stupid adviser also tried to get a spell in every couple minutes. 

“Oh, I guess _you_ get to have backup support, while my companions either died or weren’t even on my side in the first place!”

“Duh, the power of friendship always works,” Skeppy said, once again blocking my sword. _Why does it feel like we’ve switched roles?_

“Frenship smemship, I could take all of you guys on at once!” 

“Really? Prove it!” Skeppy said, and the adviser landed on the ground, and fucking A6d seemed to appear out of thin air, standing on the other side of Skeppy.

This was not looking good.

I now had to defend against A6d, who was now wielding a sword and trying to stab _me_. 

The advisor was casting a spell, murmuring in some weird language, demon or some other ancient tongue, which made A6d’s sword glow. 

Skeppy, on the other hand, was just standing still observing the fight instead of helping. 

“Now you’re just getting your friends to do the job for you!” 

“What do you mean?! I’m their moral support!” 

I had no idea when that strength potion I had earlier was going to run out, so I had to probably try and end the battle sooner rather than later. 

I began to notice patterns in A6d’s attacks, how he would always strike to the right after I had blocked his attack. I took a chance in between A6d’s attacks to try and knock the sword out of his hand, or at least make him lose his balance. I almost accomplished the task. 

While having to sword fight with A6d, I could constantly see the adviser teleporting around trying to catch me off guard with a spell. The spells seemed to be a very fast burst of fire. Though I could see them gradually become less and less powerful. _They’re probably running out of mana, since demons can’t naturally regenerate it._

I saw that A6d had left another opening for me to make him trip, and I took it, knocking him over onto the ground. 

“A6d!” the other demon yelled, and began chanting in the strange language again, forming an even bigger fireball aimed directly towards me. _Oh fuck._ In an intellectual moment of true knowledge, I dove towards where A6d was on the ground as the adviser released the fireball, now hurling towards me. 

“Oh that isn’t go-”

A6d then took on the fireball head on, which was probably not the smartest move. The advisor cried out to him while he was engulfed in the flames. After the fire dissipated, it seemed A6d had just… disappeared. I noticed both Skeppy and his advisor visibly flinched with pain, before the island started shaking. The one who had cast the fireball spell began to throw more spells at me, which was visibly draining him.

I was able to avoid most of the attacks, only one grazed my shoulder as I tried to remain steady as the ground continued to shake. The advisor yelled something to Skeppy in the demon language, to which Skeppy nodded and ran over to where the other demon had landed. 

I looked at the two of them, who were now chanting in the other ancient language very fast. _I get the feeling that they aren’t going to just give up now._

And oh boy was I right. They seemed to be making a very alarmingly large cluster of what I assumed was dark matter, which seemed very impossible to avoid. 

_This is not going to end well…_

The dark matter seemed to be finished, and it was released.

A giant blob that meant certain doom.

_Am I going to die here?_

_I guess I am._

_I’ll never get those hot demon babes, I’ll never be able to go back home._

I shut my eyes, expecting to be blown up into a trillion pieces. 

…

[Your skill ◼️◼️◼️ has activated]

_What?_

I opened my eyes to see-

Skeppy and Bad Boy Halo were now gone, leaving no trace of how they vanished.

_Did they die?_

_Also, how the fuck did I survive that?_

The black box with the void seemed to collapse on itself along with the island, pieces falling everywhere into the void. _Was this Skeppy’s skill? Being able to control this giant ass room? No wonder he just stood there, I guess that’s why the island shook a lot as well. What was the point of it? Just to make me go through parkour?_

[Teleporting to “Throne Room”]

I stared in disbelief at the beautiful room, and right at the end was a golden throne. It looked marvelous, except for a bit of dust around which I assumed was because Skeppy used that giant room skill of his instead. The blood of past fights were plastered to the walls, the hundreds of years of fighting were reflected well.

No one was there except me, the only sound I could hear was my heavy breathing after the exhilarating battle. _No hot demon babes…_

This was my final destination, my entire journey had led me to this very moment.

Through the power of ✨plot armor✨ and my own personal skill, I was able to defeat the demon king.

It was finally over. The crazy adventure I had to go through in order to get to this point seemed like a far way past. I sat myself down on the throne and took a look at the system notification.

[You have completed the quest!]

[Your Reward: Demon King’s Title]

[Are you ready to receive your reward? **YES / NO** ]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you guys for reading :]
> 
> The sequel will be posted in two weeks, along with a new fanfiction!  
> Hope you guys enjoyed Distant Journeys :)


	27. Sequel is out :)!

yoooo the sequel for this book is out!!

What exactly is Tommy’s power?

  
Did Tommy become the demon king?

  
Will Tommy ever find Wilbur?

  
And did Tommy ever get the hot demon babes?

  
Find out!

  
[eventually...]

find it here v

https://archiveofourown.org/works/29586267/chapters/72719667


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